Duty Session 413: Totally Typical Tomb

It's a lovely night to deal with undead. Which means that it's foggy, a little chilly, and damp enough that the smell of earth is potent.

Or maybe that's not earth at all.

Regardless, Robert is at the graveyard's entrance gate with what appears to be a clipboard, checking off the names of other adventurers. He's also apparently doing his best to look as unobtrusive as an accountant.

Shield was already in hand, as Ayame idly scratched their neck with their wand, looking at the graveyard and waving goodbye to the Lander she arrived with. She looks out at the evening and the weather, sighing "Mist. At this time of year? Atmospheric" She laughs, and then sighs "I guess that says everything about what we're facing. Bad, bad design. Think there'll be spooky decorations?" She offers with a chuckle, twirling her wand and muttering until it emits a faint light

Yeowang is here to fight the undead in the tomb. So here she is, hair tied back, black coat snug up to her neck. "Let's do this," she says, looking around to take in the situation.

Uta is poking at a mound of maybe not earth at all with the bottom tip of her staff. "Hm. Either this is earth, or my next tip-jab will have a poison status effect." She turns to Ayame. "The Shadow Festival isn't for a while yet." She shows up in front of Bob, raises her finger, opens her mouth...

Pause.

"...What was my name, again?"

It is always a good day to deal with the undead. The Hunter's needing another hand with it is all Haru needs for incentive to head on out. Who knows, he may get inspiration for some more accessories. Graveyards are great for that sort of stuff. "Mist sets ambiance," he says with sweeping hands, something he used for one of his earliest skills/cards.

SpritesHero gazes severely down at Uta. If he had glasses, he'd be looking at her over them, school ma'arm style. But he doesn't, so he'll simply have to settle for palpable disapproval.

"Chibi," he decides, marking her name off on his scroll before tucking it away into his inventory. "And no complaining about the ambience, unless you -want- the game to start sending us rainbow flower-throwing zombies...that still eat you."

So saying, he pushes the gate open with a squeal of rusty hinges and makes his way deeper into the graveyard. The ground slopes upwards, crests underneath a gloomy tree, then spreads out before the group in a sea of white.

Well, a pond of white. Well, really more of a yellowish-off-white, that moves and seethes, chittering the whole time.

"Ew." is Bob's observation.

The white haired Artificer is stopping to look at the tombstones. He is no Graveyard Keeper, but some of these have embellishments. There is a level of sentiment from Haru in looking on what is etched there, taking the time to run a finger along the epitaphs thoughtfully when there is the chattering of bone creatures. "Rats, and more than ten of them," he intones. Its more than a quest now, its a super quest. He rolls the clear orb in his off hand, drawing in energy that is in abundance here, namely Dark and Earth, and pelting them out with his dominant hand in little burst-bullets of brown and black. Dakka Dakka Dakka.

"It might set atmosphere, but it's also cheap for it" Ayame responds cheerfully "Not that I'm complaining. Sometimes a single haunted house feel is just fine" As she trots along and down, following on in.

Then she wrinkles her nose and yelps as the rodents begin to scurry, starting to blast them with pinpoint shots from the wand.

She makes little 'pew' noises as she does it, too

Yeowang is here to fight the undead, and here are undead, sort of, so she will advance and strike. She's quite butch in a fight, and strikes mercilessly, hard and fast, kicks slamming into the skeletal with great force. She spins and strikes and slams the monsters, a whirlwind of martial arts without the musicalness or nursing. She's a one-trick pony, it seems.

"No, no, I'm pretty sure it isn't Chibi...", Uta trails off, absolutely serious. And flailing her arms when she discovers that the name selection was final. "Wait! Wait! If you don't get my name right I'm not sure the Hunters' Guild will pay me!"

When Bob finishes his discussion about the atmosphere, she chimes in, "Did you know that 'Mist' is German for..." She goes silent. She turns towards the mound of unconfirmed possibly not earth. She pokes at it some more for good measure. And to make a point.

"...anyway. I agree. I'll take the gloomy ambience over the flowery murder rainbows."

Onward!

Rodents approach.

"I know what we should do! First, we intone a sea shanty. Then, in the middle of it, we rock the ground and splash water. They'll think they're on a sinking ship. And they'll flee!"

...And she proceeds to do exactly that.

"I -really- hope you don't prefer jump-scares," Bob comments to Ayame with a wounded look. Noticeably, he stays way, way back from that sea of rats. Something about them gets his goat, and he restricts himself to the gloomy mutterings of a binding spell. "Jump scares are the -worst-," he continues, guiding his thorned vines into position to snag offending former-rodents, in order to pin them in place.

Between pews-pews, bullets of death (undeath?), whirlwinds of fists, and...sea shanties with simulated drownings....the swarm of rats both literally and metaphorically falls to pieces. And while one might hope that the squeaks fade into silence, they don't. Uta's shanty is abruptly rounded out by bass and baritone moans. Regrettably arhythmic, regrettably off-key. And regrettably lurching towards the party at an admittedly lethargic pace. Because what would an undead graveyard duty be without zombies? There's even a decaying arm decoratively sticking out of a grave. Essentials fulfilled. Though maybe the arm should remember it really ought to be attached to a threat.

"Uta is Uta," Haru tells Uta helpfully. "Occasionally Uta is Utachu, Uta-chan, and Uta-lmate Uta. But only in her final form."

Little rat skeletal splinters everywhere. A battlefield of extra dead skeletal bits. "So are you saying," Haru asks Ayame during his dakka dakka dakka, "there needs to be more candles? Like, about fifty percent more candles?" He gives her a pair of fingerguns on that one before the last of his light-magical cantrip bolts fire into the skeletal horde. Advance!

Now zombies are a different kind of concern. One, disease. Two, smell. "These can't be good for anyone's health," a more serious voice comes from Haru. Its all fun and games until someone gets sick. Time to thin the herd before the melee engagement and true-to-genre zombie overwhelming attacks. "Artillery round, coming in," he rolls a step back and begins chanting a higher level Wave Arte, "Ignis. SPhere. Inimicos." As the Enchanter starts to chant, each ring of his casting focus gains a flaming 'one ring to rule them all' ring of fire around it. They expand out into a ball of fire the size of a volleyball, released in a lob over towards the shamblers. Ka-Boom. Burn the (zombie) heretics!

Zombies are more along the lines of what Yeowang came here to fight. She spins and strikes with a whirling kick, knocking back a zombie, punching another, and delivering an elbow into a third. She wades into the mass of zombies, fighting furiously as the attack, ignoring the smell. The disease, she'll have to take a chance with, but she's got a bit of godhand magic on her side, so she's not worried in that regard. It's a zombie jamboree, and all the zombies are dancing their doom as she kicks the snot out of them. This takes a lot of kicking.

"Well, it's certainly Uta in there" Ayame mutters in response to the scatterbrained Spriggan's singing, the secretarial sylph shifting subsequent steps to slide her shield up in defence of the small woman "Strange mood?" She asks in a hopeless little tone?

Then the zombies come. Ayame groans, and engages in the fight with wand and board, pushing the shamblers away as much as blasting, but it's afterwards when she goes around to fuss over people and ensure they're safe "I hate debuffs" She mutters, offering potions to any who got scratched.

"No, no, Mist not German for Strange Mood," Uta explains. "Although you do end up smelling like that..."

Zombies! Zombies! Uta, much like Yeowang, kicks into kung-fu mode and, well, kicks. Flying kicks, low kicks, roundhouse kicks, all the kicks.

Mostly because her hands are busy mixing healing potions on the spot, mixes them through juggling (while jumping and kicking) and tosses them around to other party memebers who might need them. "Here, apply this to the scratches before it gets worse!"

SpritesHero is totes slacking on this next bit. He lurks near the rest of the party with a cryptic, thoughtfully appraising sort of look plastered across his lips, leaving the majority of the pyrotechnics to his party-mates. Course, it could just be that he doesn't fancy getting anywhere close to anything that is getting fire thrown at it. But sometimes things come to you. And in this case, it's the zombie-arm which appears to have suddenly remembered it is functional. And attached to an actual zombie. No problems. Robert settles for stomping on that arm. And the rest of the zombie as it emerges, until its hp bar zeros out.

Once the zombies are baked, broiled, shredded, or otherwise rendered nonexistant, Uta wraps up her healing, and Ayame has confirmed there aren't any questionable debuffs, Robert marches off in the direction of--what else?--an ornately carved mausoleum. Stone grates as the doors swing open, revealing a cavernous, way-too-large interior and a descending set of marble steps. At the base of those steps is a feminine figure clad in an ethereal, wispy white nightgown. Her raven locks flow in the wind.

It is with impeccable grace that she slowly turns around to reveal...a rotten face, channeled and etched by maggots. She screams and charges.

"I feel like this is a metaphor," Robert suggests, pensively.

Another one bites the dust! In the sense that many zombies are turned to ash, giblets, and ashen giblets. "Nope, just strange," Haru responds to Ayame, assuming that was to him. He isn't working hard on any new breakthroughs. A Strange Mood Haru might actually be Normal Haru where he is as plain and wholesome as a slice of toast. "Ay, debuffs are great. Enchanter life," he nods once in defense of Enchanter life, a life of debuffs and enchantment.

The Artificer is now free to descend into the mausoleum. Haru takes a moment to admire the marble work. It is really nice! A hand runs along it as they go, stopping with a glint of torchlight against the very dead and very ominious female figure in a white dress. "This is where she crawls out of a bowl of water and strangles us, isnt it," he says in a quiet voice. Haru has always found the horror genre amusing in a good way. "Nope," is all he has to say to that. "Nope nope nope." He throws a hand out in omage to an older DnD trope, "Now see the face of true Terrah!" Yes. Foot tapping. Rhythm. Time to summon a friend. "Terra. Vocare. Terebro. Numerus. Terebrare. Hostis." Unz unz unz. The melodic whirling of drills crashes into the scene as a large earth sprite with drill arms looks down at the screamer, aiming to drown out the shrill with the shrillex beats as it wades through zombies like an Earth Mecha bent on destruction of zombie and screamer kind.

Musical Reference for Diamond Drillbeat: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIr4C5Ztlcg

Ayame shakes her head to Haru "No, Uta" She explains about the Spriggan's ramblings "I've dealt with one of hers before. I was rather hoping she wasn't just always odd. I tell you, half the adventurers are nuts" With a little wrinkle of her nose. She pushes her glasses back up, and then pauses. Twists.

And as a wall of screams charges, Ayame takes a stance with her shield - and mutters, a barrier flicking into existence ahead of it for just a moment, enough to dampen the screaming sound as it rushes over them. And, y'know. Block the charging monster.

Metaphor or not, the screamer and her summons can be shot with a bow, so Yeowang will pull her bow from her inventory and open fire. She plinks the zombies as they approach, as deadly with the bow as with her fists. Nailing the attackers one by one, they're not tough enough to survive too many attacks, so she chews through them pretty quickly.

"I am resonating with myself," Uta jokes with Ayame re: comment about Strange Moods.

"The maggots? A metaphor for what? Hmm... Maggots, beetles, beatles, Eleanor Rigby, funeral, tomb -- yes, we have it."

And that said, she operates her inventory, switches her staff for a lyre, and bengins plucking away to the opening chords of that song.

Which she performs in full. While kung-fu fighting.

Really, those screams are -supposed- to summon backup. But between Haru and Uta, the backup never really gets around to hearing said screams. And truthfully, without backup, the screamer zombie isn't much of a threat.

Which of course is why Robert unloads his most devastating spell (with a little 'eek!') the moment she gets close, and why even his accountant's demeanor looks just a tad shaken, the moment she gets close. Or at least she seems close. Ayame's right there blocking her. It is with an expression somewhere between unease and sheepishness that Robert lifts his hand to smooth his hair back, as though doing so could somehow restore his dignity. He's probably helped in this by Uta's martial arts-and-theme-song, along with Yuwang's arrows, the last of which blasts the screamer into tinkling polygons.

Robert steps forward as though nothing whatsoever had just happened, and guides the party deeper into the tomb's bowels. In this case, a small, claustrophobic room with a heavy, reinforced door opposite. A room that happily swings the entry door permanently shut the moment the adventurers appear. Fire--a frigid shade of blue-white--blazes away atop a plinth in the room's center. The tones that resound are deep, dignified, sepulchral. They come with a tasteful level of reverb too. They are also remarkably helpful. "How will you find the key before the flames devour all the air in the room?" they inquire. The distant exit door--with hinges on the wrong side--does not look impressed.

"Statement stands then. Strange is the new normal," Haru asides to Ayame. Strange is also far more interesting!

Not having air is his lead favorite things to do. This is a puzzle room and Haru doesn't appear to have any readily available skills to solve it. Thats ok, thats what a team is for. A team and... noodle arms. "Alright, I know what this calls for," the Artificer says as he rolls up the sleeves on his deep blue jacket. "Not enough, have to dig deep for this one." Jacket is off! He puts it over his shoulder as a hand presses against the door. Gotta look cool if you are going to open the door with brute strength. A deep breath. Exhales. Then anticlimatically presses on the door with his noodle arms to open them up. Enchanter life also includes low strength and inability to do brute force checks unless there is a small miracle. Be impressed, door! Impressed with hands attached to noddle arms.

Ayame just shakes her head at Robert "At best, it's mussed" She chuckles a little, shaking her head as she moves on "You're all super fussy for people who can clean up with a few button clicks."

Says Ayame.

As they enter the room, she begins to fuss. Then panic. In the end, she resorts to simply flinging summoning magics at the walls, while she yells "Listen for bones coming! That's the thin way!"

Yeowang looks around the room curiously as she tries to work out what the challenge actually is. It's not very clear, is it? Something about getting the key off the platform? Well, there's an easy solution to that. Well, maybe not /easy/ it takes a considerable effort to bodycheck the plinth, which rocks back due to interia. She slams it harder, and after an effort seems to get the key off. She picks it up from the ground and uses it. A bit past the time limit, but better late than never?

"Well, uh, I suppose... we just kick down the door? I've got plenty of practice at kicking. I, like, have done almost nothing else since coming down here. Well, except for singing. There was singing too. And preparing potions. But I did those while also kicking, so."

She clears her throat. "I've come here to chew gum and kick brass, and chewing gum hasn't been invented yet."

There. Line delivered. Tilt, stand on one leg, "YA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA!!!", keep kicking at the door so fast that if one were to draw a manga panel about this, a lot of meteor-like blobs would have to represent Uta's feet. With plenty of kinetic lines.

Chun-Li would be proud.

"Pft, I got this," quoth Robert with the confidence of a beaver about to go to work on tree #1273, as he signals Haru to stand aside. Rubbing his hands together he hops back a few feet, cracks his knuckles, and abruptly blasts forward into the door at full speed. The door holds firm. Robert less so, and he's forced to back off, rubbing at his shoulder ruefully. Well, that didn't work. Uta is more successful. Whether due to Ayame's advice or dumb luck, Uta manages to....also not bash the door down, but her kicks are definitely causing it to begin to warp. Yeowang does find the key, if a bit past the room's time-out period. The key slides into the latch alright, but a segment of the wall cracks. Rumbles. Then crumbles, sending the entire party down a slip-and-slide villain-hideout(tm) chute that dumps out smack-dab in the middle of a boss-room. Right, in fact, at the feet of the boss who has her (evil) prayers rather rudely interrupted. Normally she'd monologue. Today she just sort of 'meeps!' and reaches out with her staff to thunk the nearest intruder in the head.

Phew. Never miss a chance to work on your upper body. Haru finds this to be painfully true with failing forward on the puzzle room. He is short of virtual breath. Pant pant. "And. Thats... how you..." gulp for air "...do it." This spills the Artificer forward into the next room. The heart of the tomb itself. Then there is the sinister one. That must be the boss. "What if," he is leaning forward, hands on his thighs, "and hear me out." Pant. "I don't want to die." Deep breath and the caster stands back up. Shoulders roll in a circle.

Haru was brute force in a smart room, and now does smart force in a brute room. "I am no Kau, but I can summon the Dark, too." Yes. Time to bring out the intellectual property infringing cat. Enchanter life. "Tenebris. Cadit. Lunae Lumen. Oriri. Occultare." Haru chants his Wave Arte. Dark mist begins to roll into the room that likely already has mist in it because its a Necromancer room. Well these are Haru's dark mist for additional ambiance! Ominous ambiance! Normally about now his black cat monster would appear to hold the mist in place with a pale moon. But Eve is nowhere to be seen. Thats because she appears near the summoning circle, batting at it with one of her six paws to utterly mess with the summoning enchantment. Necromancers are no match for Nekomancers.

"Nobody is a Kau. With the possible exception of Kau. But I'm not sure about that," Uta states in agreement with Haru.

"Oh, hey, look. Free HP with built-in DPS action! Yum!", she exclaims, and intones a chant with a call-response structure, angelic and ominous in turn. Two beams shoot out, a red one that saps HP from the boss, and another which is directed to the party members, in turn, to heal them when most needed.

Yeowang rides the slide down, landing on her feet at the bottom, maintaining her poise as we're dumped into the bossfight. She's not afraid of a bossfight or adds, and leaps into the fray with a strong kick that sets the tone for the fight, taking a chunk of HP bar and forcing the boss back. She spins and kicks adds mercilessly, and while it takes several hits to reduce them to pixels, she's a harder target to take on when she's in full MMA mayhem mode. And she's in full MMA mayhem mode.

Ayame, meanwhile, has settled back. There's a small irritation on her face as she resorts to healing magics - effective, quick ones, recovering wounds and scratches and even flicking up barriers where needed to prevent blows from landing. But she's fallen quiet, staying out of the way of the kung fu monks

Really, Robert is far more successful than he has any right to be. He certainly hasn't got Haru's flair in all this. But as he gets clipped by the boss, he lands on her magical circle and something tumbles out of his pocket. Whatever it is disrupts his wedge of the circle spectacularly, sending the boss's own enchantments rebounding back against her.

The circle of power is gone. The boss's health has large chunks smashed out of it by Yeowang, drained into the party by Uta, and rapidly zeroes out with an explosion of pixels. Throughout, Ayame keeps the party's health at a very comfortable level. A roflstomp, as it is called.

Robert stands, looks about himself as though wondering where the boss is. Adopts the expression of one who knows exactly where it is and won't tell. "Well done, all," he announces. As though such a thing needed announcing.

"If there is more Kau than Kau, would that make it a Kau Kau? Isnt that someone from the Romance of the Three Kingdoms?" Haru asks Uta, meaning Cao Cao, a Chinese poet, statesman, and warlord.

There is only one thing left to do. Haru snaps his fingers and lights even more of the candles on the candelabras in the room. Now the room has the ambiance of victory AND fifty percent more candles. "Ambiance," is all he says, basking in the glow of all this nice mood lighting. Perfect for looting their well earned reward. A thumbs up to Robert. Well done indeed.

Uta cheers at Roberts's announcment. She still does after all this time. Because, hey! Victory! Loot! Not Dying! Dinner afterwards! Those social gatherings are fun, right?

She levels a gaze at Haru at the Kau Kau comment. "I think you might have been spending too much time around Fuka."