Why would you punch a fish?

It does not need a lot of explaination as to why Haru has a fish on his hand. Gwen was there for it. It should have been rather fast to ask for a fish removal, but the chim to Gwen takes at least a day. Haru wanted to get some mileage out of the fish hand first. Fuka is less amused. So Haru is on and over to Gwen's to take care of his 'affliction'. There is a knock on the door itself as Haru is making his way in. He knocks with his good hand, not fish hand, but waves with the fish hand. "Hello hello," he says, a hello from him and one from his fish. "We have arrived."

    Fuka is actually quite amused, but also exasperated. Not to mention annoyed at the constant slow drain of Haru's precious life points. She can keep him healed up, but she does find the whole idea kind of dumb. Which is probably why she's amused... but all good jokes must come to an end. Besides, she really doesn't want him poking that slimy thing of his in her face!

    "Gwen, help!" Fuka cries out cheerfully. "We have a fashion emergency here and either we need to find an outfit to go with a pirahna or we'll have to amputate Haru's arm and get him a really nice sling to go with his current outfit!" she claims.

Gwen is working the counter today, well a rare sight with all that's been going on for her. Next thing of note the towering woman is in a french maid outfit. She'll be perky as the two arrive. "Oh really what can I do to help you both. Wait what? What's going on?" She vaults over counter to go look over Haru.

"Tell me what's going on here."

Gwen will now kneel down and inspect Haru to see if she can get some information on this fashion nightmare.

Haru is extremely fashionable! He has a nice navy jacket on to compliment his off-shit button up shirt. A pair of cotton slacks in charcoal and black travel shoes. The fish attached to his hand is throwing the whole thing off, though. For one, it is a fish. Two, its a fish. Thirdly, it doesnt go at all with the color theory going on in his outfit. Haru is about to explain some or any of this but then there is a Gwen. Kneeling down in front of him. "Fuka, if you wanted to keep an open mind to what this is," he points between himself and Fuka with his fish hand, "there are easier ways to do it. Generally with drinks."

"I need the fish off," Haru says with a simple smile. Not quite Simple Haru's simple smile. Those were simplier times. Yet it is Noodle Arms that got him in a spot of trouble. "I'm hoping you can cook it up before Fuka decides to amputate my arm. I keep telling her I'm attached to my limbs, but her responses are pretty disarming. One of these days I'm just going to wake up beside myself in agony." Literally.

    Fuka is, of course, very open-minded about all kinds of things. And naturally she's going to make Haru pay for all the fish puns and his foolish ideas about punching things in disastrous ways even if it amused her immensely. He's fun to tease after all, and it's not like he hasn't teased her terribly lately. Still she frowns at his suggestion. "Look, if you want to take the fish out for drinks... wait, do fish drink? Do fish NOT drink? Where was I?"

    Fuka pauses to gather thoughts, then strikes out in an entirely different direction. "Right. Yes, I'm definitely not going to cut his arm off unless he assaults me with that fishy thing he's got! But you see, Gwen. That's the problem. *I won't let him touch me with that thing* so he's decided it's time to get it removed!" she confides in a loud stage whisper that they may not have heard in Eas or Shibuya.

Gwen says "Well this fish seems to be good quality too it be a shame to just throw it out. Come with me to my kitchen to get to work on delaing iwth this though if I am cooking this I might have you do some ad work for me with new outfits for you both." Gwen just smiles! She'll get up to lead the pair to the kitchen.

Haru salutes, fish in hand. When the hand comes back down he makes sure its in good fin flipping distance to the smol Fuka's face. Oh fish. I will miss you. "I wasn't talking about the fish," the Artificer stage whispers to Fuka while fish flopping during fastitiously feedback.

"Thanks again, Gwen, I've been meaning to stop by under less culinarian circumstances to talk about accessory forging activities for your lineups. Lately all I've been doing is making these mushy sentimental, highly personal, trinkets and who wants those, right?" Fish wiggle.

    Fuka isn't even sure how this fish is still alive. Well, aside from it most likely being a curse of some kind, put there by magic and slowly draining Haru's health. If anything that's the real reason she truly wants it gone. Besides with the number of things Haru's punched while wearing it, if it were truly a living being it'd have disappeared in a burst of pixels long before now. Or, you know, disappeared and left a filet behind or something. Whatever it is that fish do in games.

    She's not about to declare her worries though, hiding it behind casual amusement. Not hard since she's actually amused. "It's a deal, Gwen!" Fuka agrees, thinking she'd love to see Haru forced to model something embarassing and probably indecent, judging by Uta's shudder whenever Fashion or Gwen are brought up.

    FORTUNATELY for Fuka's face, she's a lot better at blocking than Haru is at using a melee weapon. She makes a face as she swats his fish-hand. "I know *I* want mushy sentimental, highly personal trinkets." she muses, bringing one hand up to illustrate to Gwen what she means. She's wearing new earrings, little copper and ruby stars. Actually she's worn them for a little while now and no doubt Gwen saw them in the previous day's adventure, but she may not have known the source. "Alas, I can't demand your talents for myself exclusively. It wouldn't be fair. I've seen what you gave to Uta and she seems quite pleased by it. And I can't blame anyone for wanting to give ... something ... to Uta." she murmurs suggestively.

Gwen is not sure about the fish and she eyes the pair as they head into the kitchen. "Oh no It would be fun to make you two a few outfits!" She grins even wider. "Maybe something more pratical nd somrething for when we're dragged to noble functions?" She's already plotting. She is walking in and then there's a fairly tall spriggan woman in white looking all the world some kind of white witch. Who likes to show off what she has. She's standing over the cook pot humming.

"Oh Gwen! Are these your latest dates?"

"Uta was smiling ear to ear when I gave it to her," Haru says down to Fuka at her suggestive statement with another suggestive statement. "Thats the Haru Nox guarentee," he continues as he tries, with very limited success, to draw a smile on Fuka's face with the fish. The dead fish opens and clothes its eyes as if to say 'help me, these two are killing me with puns and suggestive commentary. All I wanted to do was find Nemo and instead I found /this/. Kill me, cook me, just end the terror!' To which Haru laughs and takes the blinking as, "See? The fish agrees." 'Liar!'

"And accessories, Gwen," Haru adds in, making sure she is factoring those in. He is an accessory crafter. What goes good with fancy outfits? The one item he makes out of metal, gems, and various other shenanigans he finds on adventures. But his, possibly long, topic of how great Fuka's earrings are and the story behind them, is cut short. "Gwen!" he is taken aback, hand to heart. Well, fish to heart. "You never told me you had a sister working at your shop. The wonders," he starts, looking down to Fuka with a 'oh yes, he is doing this' smile, "the wonders never cease." There is a mischevious glint on his purple lens'd monocle.

    Fuka agrees it'll be fun to have and wear new outfits. She definitely wouldn't mind a new dress for society wear. Wake would be thrilled, though she might yet regret introducing Fuka to society. She's not got a modest bone in her body, so she has little to fear even from the entirety of Gwen's fashionista family.

    Fuka blinks at the sight of Morri, not as quick on the uptake nor as suave as Haru with the compliments. She IS quick to roll her eyes though. "Haru..." she sighs, a tone of exasperated fondness. "Use those eyes of yours. Or maybe just one eye." She inspects Morri, just to make sure she's an Adventurer rather than a Lander. A Lander might get offended by what comes next.

    "Different ear shape. Different coloured hair. AND WINGS, Haru." Fuka observes cuttingly. "Clearly this is Uta's sister, not Gwen's!" she states with casual one-upsmanship.

The woman just gets this grin on her face and it gets wider by the second. "Sister you say oh you flatter me both you two. No no I have adopted Uta that much is true. She's a treature to be protected." Morri grins wider looking at Gwen who starts to squirm a bit. "Oh I don't mind if form a harem my dear I won't reject you for it." Gwen is just mouthing please stop right now. "No I'm Morrigan Pendragoin Gwen's mother."

Gwen is quiet as she goes to start to remove that fish and end it's own suffering. While her's only is starting.

If conventional media has taught Haru anything is that there is nothing that could ever possibly go wrong with a harem. "A /harem/ you say," the white haired artificer says as he looks to Fuka. He had a good line to go with their bantering sportsmanship of teasing each other, but the HAREM card just landed in their lap. Dont look a gift harem in the mouth. Speaking of mouths, the fish comes free with skills hands to leave Haru with a comically reddened hand. That thing was really doing a number on his health. Vampire fish. Hand waves off the pain that is associated with getting freedom once more. "I am Haru Nox, accessory crafter, artificer, and fisherman." A hand motions to the fish. "Though none can be as finely crafted as this one here," he motions to Fuka, "I'm afraid that she /must/ be the number one. Im sure you understand, Miss Morrigan Pendragon." He snaps as he makes the connection, looking to Gwen, "Morte de Arthur, right?" The name references.

    Fuka scoffs, loudly, at Haru's announcement of his professional accreditations, though it's softened somewhat by his follow-up comment. She just rolls her eyes at that. "Please. This is all natural!" she claims with a bold gesture. Well, all RNG at least. She reaches out to Haru's arm, attempting to capture it without too much undue roughness, and cast a little healing light. That can't be fun, and she does care after all.

    In the meantime she considers Gwen's mom. This is the infamous Morri, huh? Well, she can see why some are afraid of her. And why poor Gwen is so embarassed. Time to add to it... after all, flirting's fun, age is just a number, and hopefully no one takes any of this all too seriously! "Nice to meet you, Miss Pantdragon!" Fuka claims, grinning. No telling if her mispronounciation of the name is a deliberately-clever pun on the profession and nature of the woman herself, or just foolish sloppiness. "I'm Fukaziroh. No doubt Gwen can't help but go on at length about me and how amazing I am. But you can call me Fuka!" she says with her most charming smile. The one that says 'yes I'm a rogue and you've got to love me because I'm an adorable gremlin'.

    The flirting, it must be said, is somewhat tempered and neutralized by the way she's holding onto Haru there.

Gwen thankful for the distraction Gwen nods to Haru. "Aye Gwen Pendragon and my father is Uther Pendragon." Gwen is now working to remove the fish and the look on her face is clear Gwen's dying inside she's also bright red at the moment. She's got it ofdf and she'll get ready to start cooking the darn thing up. Oil is poured in a pan as Gwen only belive in one way to cook fish, which is to fry it.

"Oh I see my dear. Still good to see Gwen being nice and social."

Gwen grits her teeth as she works. "I'm certain you must have stories about my daughter she's not been apt to share with me as well?"

Pantdragon. Thats a good one. Haru is making a note here to use that later. He is, of course, giving paper thin levels of resistance to his hand. There is a satisfied 'mmm' to the sensation of healing magic on a very sensitive hand. A Fuka hand and healing light magic? Yes please. He gives the flirting Sylph a hand squeeze to thank for tending to his own. So adorable the two could make cotton candy with all this sugar. Notably they would probably use said candy in a prank. Not even metaphorical candy is safe from them.

The white haired young man looks to Gwen and runs a comparision between his hand, which has been gnawed at by a fish for over a day, and Gwen's face. "I think it may be infecting Gwen," he whispers out loud, making a circle with his free hand for the 'face' region. Of course he is making a circular motion when it stops on a dime. "Stories about Gwen. Stories about Gwen," he taps his lips on that one. "Well there was this one time that Gwen invited us to a shop to try modeling the 'Morrigan's Secret' line of outfits. I thought 'interesting name for a Storm Festival lineup' but then again I make jewelry that explodes so who am I to question the creative muse?" The one blue eye looks down to Fuka. He snerks, only saying, "Pantdragon," like a child that can't let go of a joke. It works on so many levels.

    All this handholding might actually give the wrong impression about Fuka and Haru's relationship. She said 'maybe' after all, and hasn't updated their status since then. Not officially at least, even if she acts otherwise. Case in point: handholding.

    Fuka takes note of Gwen's face and, knowing she's probably going to pay for it later in fashion choices, decides to take the plunge. "I don't think I've seen her face so red since the beach, and I'm NOT talking about a sunburn!" she comments in a low but carrying voice to Haru. "You know, that wardrobe malfunction she didn't even notice until those seven gnomes complimented her and asked if she wanted to come back to their mine?"

    No such thing happened of course. It's complete fabrication, and Fuka knows Gwen will get them back for it. She figures Haru will suffer the worst however, and she's just fine with that.

Haru knows not what he does given Gwen was the force behind earth style undergarments for both men and women. It took only a few days of chest binding to make the Holy Knight flip the heck out about it. Morrig just beams at this idea. "Oh we should that's a wonderful idea!"

Gwen may be trying to set Haru on fire with her mind.

"You know I am the one saving you from the fish."

Then comes The story Fuka brings upGwen sputters.

Morri looks for a moment she seems shocked at first but given Gwen's reaction to this she's at a loss for word she just starsd. "FUKA YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOUR TALKING ABOUT!"

"She rarely does," Haru says with a solemn exhale, "she rarely does. But it sounds convincing, doesnt it? The great beach Snow White incident that everyone gnomes about." The young man shifts where he stands, a tall sort in his jacket and button up. Is that fish cooking or just the ire coming this way with all the heat of Gwen? A grin down to the smol Sylph, "but is that really the /best/ story about Gwen?" Oh no, he imagines Fuka can come up with something better than that. Encouraging her to, even. "I mean in that story, the gnomes struck out. The tavern stories? Oh!" It dawns on him, "of course there were gnomes in that one to. I wonder if its all connected in the Gwen-o-sphere tapestry of sordid tales." But Gwen did save him from a fish. The imagination can run with this one.

    For a moment Fuka just looks confused. Wait, it actually HAPPENED? She certainly wasn't there at the time, and really she has no idea what might've happened. She just went with a classic story and... huh. "Did someone actually write that into a questline?" she muses. If so, the devs were pretty sick, whoever they were. Whether ETO designers or gods or whatever.

    Still, she rallies quickly. Putting on her best innocent face, she turns to Morri. "I must have misunderstood the story!" she claims, wide-eyed and seemingly innocent. "Why, I merely thought they were saying she was more valuable than gold. Wouldn't you agree?" she claims, all seeming innocence... only slightly marred by a quirky grin that says she might well know exactly what she's saying.

    Fuka then turns to peer curiously (and with a certain faux-innocence) at Haru. "Aren't you going to finish the story?" she asks, arching a brow. "I know I want to hear it. Or are you waiting for when we're alone~" she asks playfully.

Gwen is just sputtering ti's clear something happened but she's not going to go into detail on it. God help her she's focusing on frying up that fish for both Fuka and Haru. Though she has fashion ideas for them both. She will have fun with both of them for this. Gwen is turning more red.

"I"m cooking!"

She'll finish it up there will be fries she will weap it in something to go hand it to the pair and wusher them out the door.

"We will talk about your payment later."

Morri is laughing so hard she's crying at this point...