Duty Session 461: Totally Typical Tomb

    June is as June does... so after discovering a memorial site that has picked up an undead infestation, she starts inviting any adventurer who seems to be unoccupied, or at least not doing something she thinks is as important as punching evil. June is, the undisputed (because really who would try?) queen of PUGs.

Haru is aproximately ten levels of Haru with a multiclass into undead slayer. Extra undeadering. Really he could use a break from being serious to blow off some steam and undead are great for that. A pick up group sounds like just the ticket.

Schneider is always up for fighting the undead. If they've been dead once, they've got practice for what Schneider's going to do with them. There will almost certainly be fire involved. There always is. The Palace Landers have been regrouping,, and no one will tell him how he can help fight them, so he'll blow up some undead to keep in practice. Can't let inactivity make you soft. That's why you play basketball in the off season. So he's here to set undead on fire, just for fun.

    June smiles, the small mousey looking middled aged woman, dressed in her barbarian finery. Scalemail bikini, fur cape, sandals, the full montey. "Hey guys, ready to punch some zombies?" she asks. Singled minded is the best way for her to avoid a bunch of talking to herself.

Schneider arches a brow to June, and asks skeptically, "Punching zombies? Probably not. But I can fight them, sure." Punching will not be involved. Tempertures over a thousand degrees may be involved. "Let's burn some zombies."

"I am prepared to burn them, crush them, and if Im feeling particularly saucy, sing at them while recreating a dance scene," Haru says, sounding not serious about the last one. Probably. He looks to Schneider and nods, "Yeah, more or less that. Punching is all you."

    June nods "That'll work, I mean punching them is way more fun but whatever floats your goat." she says with a giggle and heads into the graveyard. The rattling of bones announces that it will be a skelleton attack... and then the skeleton comes into view playing a trumpet, which really is impressive given the lack of lips or lungs. So maybe Haru gets his dance party after all.

Schneider blinks at a skeleton playing a trumpet. "What the hell? How does it even do that?" he wonders, boggling. But the song is eating up his brain cells, so hhe raises one hand, and peremptorily casts, "DAMNED!" A sheet of flame washes out, just a gout of raw fire, no frills. But so much of it, it burns for almost 20 seconds before the flames die down. Punching doesn't seem to enter into it, but, "Do goats float?"

A Haru of the past would disco dance his way into arcane blasting the skeletal trumpeteer. That is not too different from the Haru of the present as he takes a no nonsense approach to revving up a series of arcane bolts that dakka dakka dakkead the skeletal direction. "If skeletons manipulate trumpets, then a floating goat doesnt sound too far fetched." Dakka dakka "A Gravity goat." There it is. "The greatest of all time." Too far.

    June laughs "Well I mean I haven't seen a floating goat yet but." she shrugs, balling her fists up and cracking her knuckles dramatically in her cestus. But there are sheets of fire and arcane energy so she isn't going IN there that would be silly, instead she throws some punches like a shadowboxer. Each punch sends a wave of light magic ripping through the air and rippling the grass before smashing into the skeleton's bones. In the end there is a slightly melty trumpet and some pixelated lights floating into the sky. "Well that was fun." she grins and shrugs heading on towards the Mausoleum. One glance at the ritual and she shakes her head "Nah, it's fun and all but I'm not in the mood to fight with a hero of old... should probably just clean up this mess and keep going." she says with a shrug even as she starts readying a few spells to just wash up.

Schneider smirks as June beats the stuffing out of the skeleton. Metaphorically. Heading for the mausoleum, he takes a look around and sighs. "This is goofed up." He will help clean up, not really paying attention to where he puts things. Unfortunately, he's subconciously putting them in the proper place to correctly do the thing. It wasn't our goal, it's just a habit.

Haru keeps an eye, singular, on the ritual site and associated circle. "We don't need to fix it," the Enchanter says at the site of enchantment. It doesn't mean he won't take out a pad and start making sketches of it for future designs. Unfortunately even with trivial effort he ends up reconnecting some of the ritual parts. It is like solving an equation and his notes will make no sense if he doesnt fix some of it. "Wont work unless its fully powered anyway. Interesting design. Not quite 'complete'." Pad goes away, they have serious things to seriously mess up in this graveyard and it doesnt involve an arcanotrig problem about pies.

    June nods and looks over the puzzle of the layout "Yah I mean if you fiddle with it a bit and correct the damaged sections it'll work if powered but... really not looking to fight some summoned elder and deal with his crap." she chuckles. "Come on, just down the stairs in the mausoleum is the way to go most of the time round these kinds of infestations." she heads in and down the expected set of stairs. And it's a knightly gentle bone. He's demanding and arrogant but also he seems chivalrous. "Well, I'd had to disapoint by NOT smashing his face in, I'm just that kind of girl."

Schneider will follow June's lead and head down to ... some skeleton knight taking on challengers? "If I ask you African or European, do you get launched into a chasm?" he asks the knight. But the knight doesn't get tossed, so Schneider will mount up on the skeletal Peko an take the lance, gettingg ready for the joust.

Now Schneider is a self-proclaimed Exploder Wizard, but in the game, he's a Rune Knight, so he's not /completely/ useless in a fight, and ... well, this guy's not that good, it turns out. At least not at the jousting phase. Schneider unseats him and gloats off with a smug expression.

Fighting a summoned elder and dealing with his crap is not in the cards. Haru agrees with this. "I thought we were not fighting an elder. This guy is so old he is a skeleton and quoting out lines that need to come from ANOTHER old dude." He reaches his hand out and summons a magical blade made of fire. Unfortunately the knight's armor does too good of a job absorbing the heat with no fleshy bits to cook inside of it. "Should have gone with a fire whip," fwoosh, "next time."

    June chuckles and mounts the peko, scale mail bikini's are not made for the joust, and she's being too much of a taunting nerd to armor up by shifting until she's been lanced off her mount and lays on the ground, having been judged, and found unworthy or something something Chaucer. "Yah well... screw you old dude... your peko doesn't fit down the hallway." she says getting up and just stalking off the lists and into a tunnel that is indeed too small for a mounted man on pekoback.

    She continues down and through a door into a small cube shaped room, as soon as the party is inside the door slams shut and vanishes leaving only the door across the room as an exit. A voice booms from the ceiling like someone failed to set the volume controls correctly "Looking for a way out? There is but one. The way lies forward, beyond that door. There burns a fire no waters can douse. How will you fetch the key bofroe the flames devour all the air in the room?" It doesn't really seem like reaching the key will work well however whoever designed this place put the hinges on the inside... and really they haven't even secured the plinth to the floor...

Haru snaps his fingers as they move on. The tunnel. The flame. Its coming back to him. "Now I remember this place. It had two areas back to back that required a very specific skillset." The enchanter picks up a hammer from the forge and then a chisel. "Very specific," he says as he takes the chisel to the hinges of the door. "Fun fact, accessory forging does not solve this one. Tried it once to recreate the key, but it didn't count." Clink clink clink. This could take a while.

Schneider wonders how he wll fetch the key also. A test prod of the plinth reveals it's not anchored, though, so he attempts to lift it. Ugh, not quite. He throws back the cape dramatically, and now he's super nerd! Or whatever. But apparently he's triggered a buff that hets him grab up the plinth, which he then uses as a battering ram to smash into the door. There is manly grunting.

    June nods at Schneider's option and shifts forms running headlong into the door, iron horns wedging in... and the door comes down but not before a fair chunk of June's health is sacrifcied to freeing her head from the broken door. "Stupid.. who even built this place?" she growls stomping on the wood over and over before noticing the Demilich. The inanimate skull has an imp made of shadows coaless over it, picking it up and putting it on like a replacement head. "You dare disturb my rest?" it demands before a wave of dark magic rolls through the room, the boss fight has begun.

Haru is nonplussed by the rest and disturbance. "So cranky," the Enchanter observes. He puts a finger along the silvery side of his monocle during the first round of Wave Arts to take stock of the enchantments binding it here. "And held on by more fragile a coil than you think," as he doesn't brute through the situation and instead handles it like a lock. Magical tumbler by tumbler he sets it in place with disenchantments bringing the bindings to ruin.

Schneider nods as the we get through the door finally, in whatever sort of condition, but we're past, and that's the thing. As to who built it, he can only shrug. "A lot of this game seems to be designed by weird people," he notes as we move on and into the chamber of the demilich. Who seems upset. "Hangon, I have a spell for this," he says.

"Kaizard, aruzard, kisk! Hansay Glossik!" he chants, the gibberish syllables letting those he's adventured with before know that this is not a tailored spell, this is how he blows up pretty much anything. "Unleash total destruction! Sage of Hades use the seven keys to open the gates of Hell!" He points and gestures, then shouts, "HALLOWEEN!"

Flames erupt around the demilich, and it seems that whatever magical protections it had do not survive this hellfire inferno. Nothing does, generally, and Schneider's done a good one this time, it burns and lingers, apparently using the demilich's unlife force as fuel to burn all the hotter. This is not a good time and place to be a demilich, it seems.

    June nods her head and seems to be grumpy "Yah like... you know you don't have to be able to breathe for me to petrify you with my breath?" she says and breathes in deeply before expelling a cloud of green fog from her iron clad muzzle. The fog seemingly undisturbed by fire as the skull starts to slow down the shadow holding it up and the bone itself slowly gaining stone textures while the creature's movements slow to a crawl. When the damage mixed with the failing enchantments causes the boss to fall she sighs. "Man.... not the best run I've had with punching the undead but whatever, want a beer?" she offers as she pulls one from her inventory to start drinking.