Duty Session 477: Haunted House On Ninetail Hill

The large haunted mansion that has gotten itself 'a bit too haunted' according to the owner, is more of a 'tower' than a mansion. It has a large house front, but the main living area of the mansion is a ten floor Pagoda, reportedly built in honor of the 'Crystal Tower' that once stood. The dark wooden outsides are remarkably well maintained even to this day. And it's possible to see a few low level goblinoid monsters climbing the outside of it, maintaining some of the wood. Rionnag Taisbeanadh - the owner of this abode - welcomes the Hunters Guild members in, and politely gives a map with a 'route' through the Haunted Mansion they need the party to clear, and a key to get to the upstairs.

It is the Shadow Festival, and Uta is dressed in a dragon costume -- a suit fitting relatively tightly to her body, covered in 'scales' that look pretty realistic, in a gradient of reds; She also has a tail, which is, however, unresponsive, and just dragged behind her; the two wings on her back, however, can perform simple movements and flaps -- probably somehow connected to the muscles that control her real wings underneath. She is leading the party, staff in one hand, and keys in the other.

Gwen looks up at the mansion for a moment then back to Uta.

"You know this is a bit more than a tower. Gwen is current running with her new armor set as a Heavy Metal Poster Girl. Yes she's sticking with that as she comes up on Dragon Uta with a grin.

"You really are making this work my friend here. I had fun making it for you!"

Goldenblade has been kicked off the work site at Eas and told to let the workers work. They can read the plans she wrote, they don't need her there to badger them and make last-minute tweaks. So, she's wandered off, and while she's still thinking about the project, she will wander into the festival and get carried along in the problem-solving train. "I see your problem right here," she tells Taisbeanadh, "You've got goblins crawling over your house." ... "They're supposed to be there? Then yeah, I suppose we ought to take a look." And she will proceed with the group.

    Merek is dressed up in a costume, one that makes the man look like he's a slime. He is nodding to Uta with that silly little hat. "Uta, we shall serve you as the Slime Empire, you only need to ask what you want of us," the man offers.

Goldenblade's costume is Someone who hasn't eaten in two days and hasn't washed for a week.

"Thanks, Gwen," Uta beams. "I wish we actually knew what the Twilight Dragon looks like, but despite this little detail which is none of our collective fault, I have to admit you did an excellent job. Hopefully the costume will work as a walking advertisement poster for learning more about this elusive creature." She flicks her wings, and turns to watch them do their thing. She seems to have fun with them.

"...Merek, you win best costume," she says, in amazement. She sniffs the air, turns to Goldenblade, then back to Merek. "...think you could give Paula a bath?"

Entering the main chambers of the Haunted Mansion's first floor, the party is met with cobwebs that are barring the way, and creepy 'hands' reaching out. However, the hands are clearly just humans sticking their hands through various contraptions that hide the rest of their bodies. While the party does have a map, it is incredibly dark down here. Those hands keep grabbing at you, and there's a risk of dropping the keys! This is going to take some cooperation.

"Oh, uh, careful here, we have a handful on our hands."

    Merek lifts up a hand while he casts a spell, "SLIME LIGHT!" A blue light in the shape of the slime will form, and he nods a bit to Uta. "Well, goblins are a little bit like... I don't know, I think we were misadvertised to," he will admit.

Goldenblade huhs to Uta about needing a bath. "They don't do porcelain very much here. Or they do, but it's not thin and lightweight back in the real world. It's heavy as hell and not really portable." She thinks Uta wants a bathtub. As far as the keys and the grabbing hands, the easilest solution is to shake the hands, one after the other, and ... well, when a bricklayer with her level of ingame strength shakes your hand like they mean it, the hand is generally done with anything for at least the few minutes it takes to get the circulation back. "Hello, nice to meet you." "Hello, nice to meet you." She whispers aside to Uta, "How long is this reception line?"

Gwen says "We may need to call the Goblin Slayer if we have issues with this." She does seem in good spirits

"Aye I do as well."

She looks to MErek for a moment and laughs at this.

"Not bad at all my friend."

She now faces down the new challenge as the group heads in deeper.

"It's not th DMV at least Goldenblade."

Gwen will chant a spell to get some light going for the party to see better down here.

Uta stares in amazement at the alchemist's spellcasting. "Merek, you'll have to teach me that technique. It'd be amazing at parties." She winces at Gwen. "No, no slaying the goblinoids. I think they're the workers here. No messing with the premises."

"...are you considering bathroom fixtures for a haunted house?", Uta asks Goldenblade, confused. "I mean, I suppose that even ghosts have to go, and when you have to go, you have to go. That is true about both death and biological necessities. Do... do ghosts have ectoplasmic necessities?", Uta wonders, rubbing her chin and looking up and away.

As for dealing with the current challenge, Uta intones a crystalline song, tendrils of colorful light dance on her staff, focus on the gem at the top, and settle into a dim light meant to illuminate the area.

Except that, alas, the light a bit is too dim, and while it offers a minimum amount of light to see by, it doesn't quite reach to the floor, where the hands are. Hands which grab at her tail and occasionally yank her back. "Yikes! Ow! I'm so not used to having a tail..."

The first floor of the Haunted Mansion is filled with heavy furniture and is clearly the main living area of this building. There's Shoji doors constantly clapping open and shut, creating an annoying timed progression. The spirits within are hard to exorcise, but probably are not the troublesome ones the owner spoke of. Instead, the party is dealing with a few heavy chairs that are rapidly flying towards the group, trying to clobber them, trap them to the ground, or shove the group into the various open-and-shut doors!

"Oh, right. Another thing that was mentioned..." Uta comments while looking at the opening and closing doors. "Something about the Twilight Dragon's scales looking like... game pieces or something? I should try and recall the exact wording. I wonder if they look like shoji..."

Goldenblade now huhs to Gwen. "If they have the DMV here, I'm gonna get mad. Why do they have a DMV when there's not even motor vehicles? I ought to build a Camaro and make those DMV bastards work for a living." Because where else would you drive a Camaro, but Goldenblade's fine road to Eas. As far as bathroom fixtures, she says to Uta, "You're the one that said we're here to fix the plumbing, right? I don't have my Plumber's card, but I can fake most of it. I've helped out plumbers on the job site more than once."

A heavy chair comes flying at her, but a quick flip of her foot turns it upside down, and she stacks it on a table, where it shudders, but can't seem to easily free itself. Another comes at her from behind, but she kicks out without turining, catching it under the seat with her heel, and it, too, is flipped over and stacked on a table.

    "I can teach you. It's basic light magic, only in shape," Merek mentions, while he takes the time to look at the chairs. "You know, I think Alice in Wonderland would be much nicer if the chairs were all flying," he will admit, then he draws a shield which protects the party along with the others way. "There are so many board games, I don't know. Maybe it's Monopoly and maybe it's Candyland. What is Candyland? Am I doing these references right?" he asks people.

Gwen is puing on as they find their way deeper into the house, "Oh you got used to wings I'm sure you can get used to a tial." She trins a bit at Uta she seems to be having fun for the moment at things. She'll make use of her shield to fend off the hands delfecting them and about anything else that might get close to the party.

"I suppose," Uta mumbles at Gwen.

"A dragon whose scales are shaped like clothesirons or scottie dogs? I am interested," Uta says, leaning towards Merek.

"They might have a Dungeon of Magical Vehicles. I would not be surprised."

If one fights fire with fire, it follows logically that one fights wood with wood. As the chairs fly towards her, she sticks her staff into any openings the chairs might offer: holes, gratings, anyething -- and if not, careful swinging around the legs or back rests, to deflect and incapacitate them without breaking them. Because they look expensive, and Rionnag Taisbeanadh might not appreciate people smashing the furniture, no matter how haunted. Another song is intoned, and magical energies flow around her hands, along the staff, and into the chairs, who are Handled into stopping their attack.

Having passed the floor with the possessed chairs, they have found that the Shoji are moving erratically everywhere. It must be a powerful monster to control that many doors throughout this house. Now on the third floor, the party is faced with a new and far more dangerous foe. Their own hearts! For as they step deeper, they are met with crooked mirrors, traps that drop puppets from the ceiling, and chests that randomly pop open. It seems like this floor is nothing but jumpscares, until one of the chests springs open and attacks! It's a mimic! And it looks hungry!

Goldenblade is really not the best person to be jumpscaring right now, because she's hauled out her repair hammer that's designed to help repair structural damage and straighten out things that have gone crooked, but is mainly a giant hammer that slams into things, and when she's startled in a strange mood, things get smacked out of reflex. This is true of chests and shoji, and it's only because it's a Repair Hammer that it hasn't demolished everything in her path. But a repair hammer doesn't repair mimics It flattens them. Which is not good for the mimic.

Gwen just give Merek a look a very confused look for a moment. She finally stops at the mimic! She's been laughing at the mirrors but the mimic and has an idea. She'll pull out a bag of dumplings as she will end up toss them to the Mimic.

"There you go enjoy!"

hopefully that will keep the mimic very busy...

    Merek lifts up the sword from the waist, and will swing it into the mimic. "Alright, I don't have anything clever. Well, maybe we can make things up," he notes. Then he's adjusting the weapon and following with the party when they all take care of things.

"Oh, hey, look! That might be a hint about the Twilight Dragon!", Uta exclaims, pointing at a mirror.

And then, suddenly, jumpscare! What do you get by jumpscaring a martial artists? You get judo grasped. And/or thrown. Most mosnters who attempt to jumpscare Uta end up flattened against the ground or the opposite wall.

The Hungry Hungry Mimic treats Gwen's treats like a Hungry Hungry Hippo might treat marbles: as if it had a monopoly on the candies of Candyland. Distraction level: succesful!

Goldenblade plays whack-a-mole. Whack level: Very successful!

But wait, there's more! Merek slices, dices, makes Julienne fries out of the mimic! Chim now, and- well, ok, no, don't chim now. People are in a fight and hence not chmmable.

Having passed beyond the dreaded Mimic, the group has made some good progress. They're on the seventh floor now, having cleaned up some minor breakaway monsters. Things have gotten more risky however. There's a small army of really solid armor approaching, and they look rather priceless! It'll be hard to take down these helmetless spirits without also destroying the equipment they possess! Or at least to still be able to repair them afterwards. Luckily, they aren't too smart, but the weapons they are wielding are sharp enough to make up for it!

Goldenblade follows along, the repair hammer over her shoulder, and she peers at the little toy soldiers. "You know, we could use some of these. Automatic fighting robots. My grandkids love these things." She steps aside from one, and when it goes past, she upends it and stuffs it into her inventory. Of course constructs can't be put into inventory, so she bangs it on the ground a few times, until it stops moving, then stuffs it into inventory. There's plenty more left, but by clobbering the one, she's worked out which armor plate she has to twitch aside to basically deactivate them. Not many people know that plate's detatchable. She hadn't, but it came undone when she was bashing it.

    Merek lifts up both hands, while he nods a bit to that army, "Will be doing what I do best," then he's beginning to swing his fists along with his feet into the soldiers which come at them, "RAGNAROK'S WISDOM!" He then decides to make it all that more fun for him while he works. "ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA!"

Gwen just stares at Uta for a moment as she looks in the mirror then she laughs. Thankfully the Mimics seem to like the food and Gwen is on her way with the party overall She is having a fun time with this dungeon. She bouncing almost skipping along till she see the undead with out their heads. Gwen will do what she can to not wreck them too badly. she's however big she's powerdfull and going to make a mess.

"BONZAI!"

Ragnarok's wisdom with ORAORAORAORA, giant Sylph on a rampage, a Strange Mooder on a rampage, and a Musical Kung-Fu Nurse going monster-handling kung-fu. Can one say Property Damage? Luckily, their tracks are covered quickly enough. Hopefully people won't notice. Hopefully.

With the Dullahan dealt with, the party has made it to the tenth floor. It seems to be built almost like an observatory. There's a mobile of Alba - though lacking any definition beyond the map of Yamato - and the two moons. A large stargazing telescope stands on one side of the room? but before the party can rest, the mobile starts to glow and comes to life, three spirits snap them off of their wires and form three elemental creatures. Earth, Fire, and Light! They attack, the spirits moving rapidly across the room, refusing to easily be defeated! They'll need to be countered with their elemental counterparts to trap them and weaken them enough for the owner to control them again!

    Merek will swing a little bit of water along to the elemental creatures. All the same even though he's throwing that to the fire, he's not doing as well like he would be if he was using fire. He does manage to eventually do it, but he uses a lot of mana.

Goldenblade takes a look at the dark elemental, and then vanishes from sight. "Two can play this game," the party can hear her over chimlinks. If it's a contest to see who can be more dark, it seems like the ninja is actually winning over the elemental, but then again, it's hard to see exactly what she's doing. But it's making the elemental's health bar go down. Not /fast/ but she's clearly got an edge on it.

There is a final challenge ahead of them she will just unload all the wind spells she's got. She looks to be pretty going overboard here whens he might have best done something else. She just seem to be laughing as she does so. Perhaps she should have thought this out, but it seems this whole dungeon is one big stress valve for her.

Uta launches into a series of martial art moves that result in jets of water shot at the fire elemental, which keeps dodging and beign missed.

"Wait a minute! I'm a... dragon that... shoots... water? That can't be right. Who's ever heard of a firefighting dragon?!" Uta exclaims, all of a sudden.

Goldenblade's elemental fight turns out to be a triumph, eventually, as is Gwen's air. It takes the combined effort of Merek and Uta to somehow subdue the Fire elemental. Which resulted in a scorched corner of the carpet. "It barely shows," Uta comments, poking at it with her staff. "One can probably hide it by putting some piece of furniture on it."

With the three elemental spirits weakened, they return to their dormant state within the mobile. The Pagoda seems quieter. The constant clapping of the doors beneath easing to a more reasonable speed for a haunted house. Taking the opportunity, the group takes turns gazing into the telescope and find that it is in fact not looking towards the stars, but towards Aincrad Tower. Except, topping at about half its height, is a beautiful crystalline-blue tower. Glistening as it catches the sun from various sides. Attempts to move the telescope any other way fail. It seems this Relic is firmly set in place, only able to observe the Crystal Tower, lost many centuries ago to history itself.

"So, -that- is what it means that the Aincrad Tower stands where the Crystal Tower once stood! Fascinating!"