Using a rabbit to catch a fox

It's another day at the office, and Prophylaxis is in. Today, he's technically taking a break from the whole Being A Doctor thing for the evening, but that doesn't mean his door isn't open for other people to saunter in. And it also doesn't mean he's not busy. There's a pile of paperwork spread out atop his desk, and sheet by sheet he quietly fills out each one with the mechanical routine of clockwork calculator.

It may be a 'day off' but it's... Not /really/ a day off, you know?

And saunter in Robert does, though to his credit he does at least pause in the doorway to give the frame a quick rat-a-tat of a knock.

"Boss", he announces. "Don't suppose I might have a bit of your time? Was hoping to get a sense for how you handle captives. Specifically, how you keep them as captives when they are more slippery than an eel on ice and likely to just leave you with a mouthful of fluff."

Apparently he's never heard of mixed metaphors being a bad thing.

". . ."

Prophylaxis pauses in his work to look up and stare Robert directly in the face.

"Is this about that kitsune?" Beat. "Have you been... Putting your mouth places it shouldn't be? Because what you do in your spare time is your own business, but I strongly recommend taking appropriate precautions."

Beat.

"Also there are some rope techniques I can suggest if that's what you're asking for."

Daiyu would probably flip out. Robert does not differentiate. Fox spirits are all alike to him.

At any rate, Prophylaxis's jab is evidently interpreted as a 'go ahead', for Robert steps inside, leans against the door-frame, and folds his arms over his chest.

"It is about the Kitsune, and no I haven't been putting my mouth in overly odd places," Robert confirms.

Beat.

A most uncomfortable beat.

"Are we still talking about restraining prisoners of war?"

"Is that what you kids are calling it these days?" Prophylaxis asks, because this moment is not awkward enough already.

"Also I have an array of sedatives that might be able to help," he adds with a shrug, "I think they may be able to help. Are you still convinced that she's genuine in her desire to turn coat, or do these additional measures imply that she's a bit more... slippery than you had first assumed?"

SpritesHero's gaze lifts to the ceiling. Studies it. Drops. He lightly clears his throat and shifts against the doorframe. He mumbles something about Geneva conventions under his breath, borderline unintelligbly, before continuing.

"I'm certainly not convinced," he admits, mildly, shoulders rising and falling in a shrug. "She's sharper than I am, stronger than I am, more cunning than I am, and definitely far more slippery than I am." Fluffier, too, though this does not seem a factor. Probably. "Her desire seems genuine enough, subject to the constraints of the crown. I've confirmed elements of her story with both Shenmi and Tian. The impression she hints at is...improbable but not impossible. The main thing, though, is that the opportunity for gains from such a deception...well. It's high-risk, minimal rewards, isn't it."

There is no Geneva here, and even if there was, it'd be in Europe and nobody likes anybody in the Baal Lands. There is certainly no Geneva in this office. The only authority here, for better or for worse, is Doctor Prophylaxis.

...Who apparently has Knowledge: Rope Techniques?

"I see," the doctor nods, knitting his fingers atop his paperwork. "And so you mean to even the playing field by capturing her first, is it?" The doctor cants his head to one side, as if to find an answer to the question somewhere outside his window. "High risk, low rewards. Unless she means to dupe us into a situation where she can capture multiple members of the Alliance for crowning or heaven knows what else, you mean."

SpritesHero seems disinclined to question as to the foundation of Prophylaxis's Knowledge: Rope Techniques.

"If I said that, it'd be nothing more than arguing from the conclusion. In truth, sir, it's a feeling. A sense of wrongness. It's something that ought to be done."

Another pause.

"But if you're willing to accept a practical argument from conclusions, I would propose the following. First, regarding your concern of a high-risk high-reward scenario. I do not see how convincing us that she wants a decrowning would increase her access to senior Alliance members. After all, their side already has those invisibility cloaks. Second, her ability to interrupt during the de-crowning process is seriously inhibited if we keep her unconscious--for example, with your sedatives. Third, based on her reputation as relayed by herself and generally confirmed by Shenmi, it is likely that she is important to the Palace war efforts from a strategic standpoint. At minimum, this would be removing a potentially important piece from the board. So for our Alliance, it would likely be a low-risk high-reward scenario, assuming she were handled properly post-deCrowning."

As with all things, it's probably fair to blame the internet.

"I'm not opposed to capturing her," the doctor answers with a shake of the head. "I just want to urge caution. It would be best if we can capture her during, for instance, a chaotic melee. A place and time where it's unlikely that she might be able to set up an ambush. Setting a previously agreed-upon time and place allows her the opportunity to waylay us instead, obviously a situation we'd prefer to avoid."

"Unless she has already suggested such a time and place?"

"She has not suggested anything," Robert allows without missing a beat. "I don't think the Crown would permit any such overt action. Though yes, I did have two thoughts as to how she might become vulnerable. First, assuming she is present and her forces were to lose an engagement, she would likely be capturable during the chaos of the retreat. Secondly, according to Tian, the crown loses some of its authority when its dictates are in direct conflict with the wearer's underlying nature. As such, it may be possible to bait her out by appealing to something that exploits this conflict."

There's a pause. He admittedly looks a bit dubious. "I was thinking fried chicken."

"...Fried chicken." The doctor sounds even more dubious. "......Why fried chicken?"

"I mean, if she's a fox spirit she can't possibly turn down chicken, right?" Robert supposes.

"Also," Robert adds, "fried chicken is delicious. I don't know the extent to which real food is a thing over there in the Palace Lands. And fried chicken, while very tasty, is probably not important enough for her to be able to get a squad together for a raid."

"Hmn. The trouble is that, if she's as loyal to her kingdom as she claims, then the crown would not easily provide directly contravening orders." Sadly, it seems as though Plan Fried Chicken is not on the table, possibly because Prophylaxis wants to keep it all for himself. Unless......

"...Wait, are you saying you want to invite her over for fried chicken?"

"Not contravening loyalty to her kingdom. But it is in direct conflict with her sense of self. Her sense of independence. Her sense of having come here to finally be the main character in her story. Her desire to represent her people and their culture, positively, to others. It's more subtle than disloyalty," Robert reflects, "which is why I think she may have more leeway in her actions. And even as far as loyalty, I do not know how much of her loyalty is to what her Kingdom was, as opposed to what it has become." Robert pauses, crinkles his nose, then continues.

"I doubt she'd accept an invitation. And it would be against the rules to invite someone over then kidnap them. No, I was going to test her vulnerability to fried chicken, then let slip a hint that there going to be a festival with fried chicken. Near, say, Eas. She'd have to raid it, probably."

"Hmn, fair enough," Prophylaxis answers, "Well. I suppose the best thing to do if she is how you describe is to... Ignore her." He pauses, then clarifies: "That is to say, if her personality demands that she have some sort of... main-character-level agency, then it may be possible to arrange a scenario such that following the compulsions of her crown would demand that she take a back seat to somebody else's story. All that said though, it's... difficult to imagine such a situation, isn't it? Especially since ignoring her isn't really feasible if we intend to capture her as well."

Beat.

"I see. I mean, we could just hold a festival with fried chicken at Eas. That's just... that's a thing we can do."

"Agreed," Robert states with a firm nod. "It is not in her personality to directly and intentionally endanger Landers outside of direct orders to do so, so I think there would be minimal risk to the inhabitants of Eas."

Beat. "And if she doesn't come, it's no real loss per se." With a miraculous effort, he refrains from dribbling drool on Prophylaxis's office.

"Mmn, indeed. Though Robert, do be careful. Fluffy tails are dangerous and seductive things," the doctor cautions, sipping at a cup of coffee that has surely been here the entire time. "Especially when they have a tendency to find their way into your mouth. Doubly so when the one they're attached to is... Slippery like an eel."

...

"Was this all a plot to get my approval for a fried chicken party?"

SpritesHero, being the soul of honesty and directness, shakes his head. "Rest assured, boss, that this was in no way all a plot to get your approval for a fried chicken party."

The grin that follows is rather suspicious, and lingers a bit too long. It's the grin of someone who has gotten away on a technicality.

"But duly noted. I completely agree that this particular fluffy-tail is highly dangerous. But I do think the potential for damage can be seriously limited if she gets thrown back in."

Mixed metaphors now thoroughly scrambled, he tips an imaginary cap. "Boss. I leave you to your work. But maybe look into a secretary."

"Indeed. In the worst case, offer to give her a good, relaxing brushing. Perhaps an ear-massage. I've been told that such things are both irresistable and highly debilitating to some fluffy-tails," the docotr advises, because this is a fantasy world and there is no such thing as rules in war, or love.

"Actually," the doctor adds, "I /do/ need a secretary. The position is, in fact, open, Robert."

"I'll be certain to pass word along," Robert promises, before disappearing in a poof of air. Huh. So he -can- move quickly when the need is there.