Duty Session 558: Slime Machine

The entrance to the dungeon is a simple old building that stands above the ground, entering into an underground system through a set of stairs. At the moment, there are no monsters, and makes the perfect place for the party to set up a staging camp to prepare for entering it. Arcane writing lines the walls of the place within and on the outside. People familiar with it might see old gnomish writing. This is the beginning of a flantastic fantasy dungeon.

Know what this? Adventure. Know who is there when Adventure calls? Soujiro Seta. "The classic set ups always get me excited," the samurai says as he hangs out for the party to assemble. "No matter how many dungeon crawls one goes into, it gives an opportunity to perfect the experience." And one has mastered all the dungeons, only then can they be called a Dungeon Master and never get to be a PC again except through the NPCs that PCs murderlate.

    "Deep dungeons are really the highest point of adventuring, really. Even better than swamps, mountains, and let's not get started about overland escort quests."

    Asuna is, as is often the case, hanging out with Soujiro. If she looks a bit tense, well, she's been putting herself through some of what she calls 'batsu training'. Failure is, after all, something other people are allowed to do.

    She is fully prepared, as well. Weapon at the ready and cosplay already on her. And it seems that she's going for a classic. Miss Deep from Read or Die. It's quite the outfit. That she can wear it and not blush is just a sign of how focused she is on perfection and not much of a comment on her strange approach to modesty.

    "I hope I can bring a few slimes out of this place. Uta really loves it when I have a present or two for her."

"The classics do have a certain feel to them do they not?" In usual form Kauchemar is standing there by the building joining the conversation where she quite clearly wasn't a few moments ago, as she tends to arrive when no one is looking in that direction. "And when it comes to training, doesn't really matter what targets you're practicing on does it?" She taps a finger against her staff resting upon her shoulder, and a ghastly hiss with a few dark vapors whisp from the death metal skull atop it. "Practice is practice. Though I do recall a use of darker arts or two from my previous ventures so that's a bonus."

Schneider has joined the party. But he's no gamer, and doesn't know the tropes. He played sports in high school and only joined in college on a whim. One of many first-time gamers trapped here, and probably frustrating to the gamers. He's technically an homage character, but he doesn't play the character very like his namesake, and is not genre-savvy at all. He knows a few things, but they were learned here.

He looks blank at 'classic set-ups' and can only shrug. "Er, OK." He looks over to Asuna, and smiles at her cosplay choice, which he completely approves of despite not knowing the source.

Is this place classic? Everyone says so. But he can only shrug. "Fireball is classic," he says. "Everything else is fuel."

Dosbox always follows along like a little puppy whenever his friends are in need of support, and since his friend list is VERY SMALL, Asuna tends to be the prime candidate for such treatment. True, he is currently on a road trip with Uta, but with so many detours they have taken, it's almost like the wagon is a TARDIS, and they just... END UP in random places...

"There's this one game called Dungeon Master that was even ported to the AMIGA II, and if your first character rams into the walls until they die before the dungeon starts, you can have all the starting equipment of all the other characters.... Do we want to give that a try?"

There is that warm, affirming smile from Souji over to Asuna and Kau for the positive attitude. Good vibes make for good adventures. Dosbox gets a thoughtful consideration, "Wizardry?" as a game he recalls from a while ago, even in this era, "No, I don't want to commit death-by-wall. But if you want to," he thumbs up. Support. Even if it is supporting a horrible idea, it could lead to an interesting alternative path!

Entering into The Fallen Rocks of the dungeon, the party will come across a place that looks plain, though there are a few pipes that seem to extend into the walls all throughout it. The only way forward looks like a fallen rock slide, and the only way out will be mining it out, whether by skill or magic. Though perhaps one might find an alternative route, if they were to look between the many fallen rocks.

There is a certain irony in that the walls are the ones blocking the way forward. "Good instincts!" Soujiro says to Dos. The samurai's rolls up the stronk arms and works on clearing the debris. If an alternative path can't be found, they can at least start on the one in front of them. Stronk samurai. Stronk-urai?

Schneider boggles as Dosbox describes what seems like a wildly unlikely scenario. "I think I'll take a pass on that. I'm not into sef-abuse."As we get to the fallen rocks, he peers at them, then summons the worlds smallest stone golem. Six inches tall, it's basically toy-sized, but it seems to have an affinity for clearing ground, and it assists capably with the party's efforts while Schneider attempts to look like he didn't just summon the world's smallest earth elemental.

    "You know, if I was aware that I'd have to clean a pathway, I'd have gone for a different look."

    Just as well that she's not pulling out the maid outfit. That's reserved for the most serious of circumstances. Like cleaning out Klein's house or going to Pela's cafe.

    With a focus on the issue ahead, though, she uses earth artes. As is Asuna's way, she does this with all the subtlety of a flying mallet. It's just plain brute force smashing at the rock slide. Again and again. It works, but it just isn't terrible pretty.

    "I love it when things just.. work, you know?"

"Don't tell that to Wisteria, she's the one that loves glitches." Kauchemar tilts her head as the group gets on with the adventure, only to be rock blocked. "And this is wall enough to deal with. Stand a little to the side, Soujiro." She doesn't want to interrupt the samurai's work, but doesn't want him to be in the way, either.

She taps the butt of her staff to the ground, and a summoning circle briefly appears. Looking like a hole when a large mole pokes his head out of it. "Time to do your thing," Kauchemar adds, pointing at the rockpile, and the monster quickly scrambles over to help the others dig through the mess. His claws and teeth can break through the larger stones so they're easier for others to move out of the way.

Dosbox considers the fallen rock, "Well, that exploit only works if you do it before you pick the other members of the party, and since we are already on level 1 of the dungeon, we're past the point where we can take advantage of that." His hands glow a brownish orange as, in following with the efforts of his allies, he makes the rocks all soft and loamy, to ease their efforts in pushing through.

"Your outfits fit the situation no matter what," Soujiro says as he hold the debris with one hand and thumbs up Miss Deep-suna. The samurai steps out of the way for the powah moves(tm) to wreck the earth. He begins to catch the stray rocks like they were dodgeball practice to keep they from becoming raw missiles towards the end of it. Freedom!

As the party walks to the next area away from the fallen rocks, they are greeted with a scale that takes up the middle of the place. Old pipes seem to be broken, that were once part of the machinery. Upon investigation, it is clear that these scales are meant to be filled with water to balance them, but with the old mechanism broken, they will need to use their own physical ability to maneuver the dial that opens the stone and metal door to the next area. A mural decorates the walls, the writing worn to the point it can't be made out, but it's clear that it is a dedication to the elements.

The samurai tilts his head to the right, "Hmm." Then the left, "Hmm." A thinking Souji is cute, as he doesnt do big brain things. Hands go on the dial and he begins to apply that STRONK to get those scales working. Scale Samurai must give the Scale challenge the respect it deserves! Which is to say: An overkill amount of it.

Schneider looks over at the pipes, and his first inclination is to admit he doesn't know any water spells. He kind of doesn't. He has some basic facility, because the game isn't as one-dimensional as he is, in his canon. But he can work out puzzles and things well enough, and he will assist with that, and the water, at that point, becomes incidental. It's actually quite important, but as long as he's not focusing on it, it's all right, isn't it?

Kauchemar walks over to one side of the device. Reaches up with her staff to hook the horns of the skull on one of the scale arms, and use that as leverage to help loosen up the mechanism before others get the water going back into the equation. "Now we just need to make everything line up properly."

Dosbox takes position by one of the scales and starts creating water, filling it to what he assumes is the correct water level. "Yeah, Asuna, and your outfits are always on point, too. I'd say you should really get me in touch with your designer, but... we're already working on that, right?"

    Asuna is so professional and focused on her task that it takes a moment for her to realize that Kauchemar has a mole monster to help clear the landslide. Once she sees it, she grins.

    "That.. is the most precious little burrowing monster I've ever seen!" She's a fan of animal-like monsters. "Unique technique, or is that something that can be learned?"

    She will move to stand closer to Soujiro a moment later. She always views herself as a tank role, unless someone really big with a HUGE shield is in the party. But since Curt isn't here, she's ready to take a few hits.

    "Thanks, Soujiro! I actually like this one. This is one of the few characters I even heard of. My brother thought she was cool." Which means she was cool. Period. Asuna will fight over it without needing any other evidence.

    Oh, and water. Asuna likes water. "You know, I almost went undine, oddly enough. Something about swimming and the overall aesthetic."

    So she brings water to bear. This time, though, with a very fine touch. It's a scale to balance, not an anvil to launch through the roof. Not that she's ever done that when she got frustrated with her poor weapon forging efforts. Not her, nope.

    "And yeah, Gwen is the go-to. And if Morri takes a fancy to you, all the better!"

    Said nobody else ever.

"We can practice swimming and undersea adventures until we are undine levels," Soujiro hypes at the idea of Water levels. Racing against the O2 meter. Moving in all directions. A true test of skill where frustration will stop most. Perfect place for trrraaaaiiinnnnning!

And it is after the scales that it becomes clear why this place was claimed to be filled with slimes. The ground is covered in oil slimes, the walls seem to be covered in the thick material, and it's difficult to tell what this place used to be. It's no secret to the party, if they want to make it beyond the next door, they will need to clear away the slimes or capture them. The question is, can the party manage to corral the slimes, and take care of them at one time? Old scorch marks from a fire a long time ago mark indents along the floor that could be set alight if they were to gather the monsters there.

"Slimes can be pretty cute," the samurai observes. They are low level monsters at times. At other times high. But those derpy looking faces? Its a kindred spirit! One he can punch and they probably dont mind! Just like him! Time for ttttrrrraaaiiiinnning by bear hugging the slimes and moving the big ones away one at a time. Your skill in Acid Resistance has increased! (42). Your hit points, however, have decreased.

Schneider mutters, "I like Uta and all. But ...." Clearly he feels under no obligation to save the slimes for her. "She certainly has /enough/ slimes, I think," he mutters as he holds out his palm and spurts raw fire over the slimes, which because of the type of slime they are, they are particularly vulnerable to. Not that he knew that, but fire is Schneider's go-to attack, so that's what he tries first.

Dosbox waits until some of the slimes are all coralled nice and neatly in some floor indents before lighting them ablaze. He looks to Schneider with a confused expression. "Does she really like slimes, Uta? I have been on a road trip with her for a while, and I have seen neither hide nor hair of a slime. Are you sure she's not obsessed with Grunties? She has Gwenty, after all. Would she be mad about us killing the slimes?"

And now they get to the part Kauchemar was already preparing for. While being grateful that Uta isn't along.... though Soujiro quickly proves that the lover of slimes is still present in spirit as they take the direct approach to trying to build slime tolerance. Sigh.

"Well, we can at least protect him from being overwhelmed while hugging it out." Kauchemar shifts her grip to hold her staff like a mic stand and put her own skill with monsters to use.

o/~ It creeps, And leaps, and glides and slides
Across the floor, Right through the door, And all around the wall
A splotch, a blotch, Be careful of The Blob o/~

Thematic choice aside the music has some manner of mismerizing effect on several of the slimes, allowing the Nightmare Bard to direct them back into their pens.

    "They are wonderful creatures, and a critical part to most dungeon ecosystems. You know that slime diets are the most diverse of all monsters? Most slimes can eat all organic matter as well as dissolve pretty much anything that doesn't have a layer of protection. Like how the walls are system protected, for instance."

    As she talks, Asuna uses her expertise (and some water) to force some oil slimes into cloudy, glass jars. "And oil slimes, as it turns out, cannot eat their way through this particular kind of glass." A moment later, and she carefully closes the top before sending it all back into her inventory. "Oh, and is there ever enough of what we truly love, Schneider? I mean I hope you never feel that way about fire spells. The world would be so boring!"

Once in the next room, it doesn't look like they are clear of slimes yet. A series of spinning windmill posts create a maze, many paths leading into a gathering of slimes that seem ready for the party. The only way to make it by this, is to either inspect the paths to find a way through, to decipher what the clues on the wall means, or to use an elemental air magic to begin changing it to the best path directly. It is clear that everyone will need to work together.

The samurai is covered in what is left over from the previous slimes, taking this time to get the remaining goo off of him. It is like blowdrying a dog with bits of wind magic here and there. He could menu clean, sure, but whats the fun in that? Know what /is/ fun? Slime fight. "Asuna, catch," he uses his air to plort over some of the slime-bits he hugged out over to her. Look, if you were hoping Souji would be useful in a puzzle room, there are some realities to clear up.

Schneider huhs to Dosbox. "You haven't? Gwenty the grunty is about normal for grunties. But Uta is .... obsessive about slimes, normally. Maybe she's sick?" he considers, sounding worried. "I'll have to check on her." To Asuna, he says, "What I'd truly love is a logout button. But Fire spells, I am not likely to run out of."

Sadly, this does not look like the sort of puzzle fire will help to solve. But he -is- the Scale Librarian for a reason, and the clues are written on the walls. It's not like it's hard. If you can read the clues. "That looks like some old high orcish I once saw," he explains as he navigates carefully through without incident.

    Little known fact: The Scale Samurai are really only serious about fun. And boss clearing. Asuna sees slime thrown and a game of catch offered. Does she use air to push herself into a gravity-defying dive that serves no purpose in clearing the room but looks COOL? Hell yes she does.

    She gets herself under that slime glob with a dig that would make a beach volleyball olympian super jealous. That she has perfect set Soujiro up for a spike is no accident.

    "Take the shot, Soujiro!"

    What were we supposed to be doign here again? Don't worry, they'll pay attention when it seems less boring to do so.

Dosbox frowns, "I wouldn't know if she's sick or not. I really only just met her, technically. It's kind of weird that she just... Grabbed me off the street, threw me in her cart, and took me on a road trip, when you think of it. I mean... At first, I thought I was being kidnapped, to be honest."

The gnome begins to adjust the flow of SOME of the windmills so that the party can avoid most of the slime groups, but he can't really take care of the rest of them all by his onesie twosies.

"Contrary to what some people may think, Uta -is- able to focus on other things. Sometimes." Onward to the next challenge! "Oh, I remember this one." Pause. "Though there's no guaruntee that it's the exact same pattern. These types of puzzles have a tendancy to reset unpredictability. But that's hardly a discouragement. Gnomey has the right idea." Likewise the Nightmare conjures up a strong wind, directing it towards the farther back windmills that Dosbox is having difficulty reaching.

The Scale Samurai line up the slimeball. They shoot. They score! The crowd goes wild. This has /nothing/ to do with passing the puzzle, but it does get solved at about the same time thanks to Dos, Schneider, and Kau.

At the end of the dungeon, pipes move throughout the walls, and an old machine stands broken. The walls stand above the party as they may note ancient writing, but before they can really take the time to examine the place for any puzzle, from the machine there is a sound, and from that is a slime that slides out of one of the pipes. It begins hostile and comes for the party. It might look like a simple enemy to fight, but it soon becomes clear that this is no ordinary slime. The first to interact with it in any way, will see it begin to change. Then what once was one slime becomes two. These two begin to grow into a white and black slime that grow into bigger versions of themselves. Afterwards, they grow hostile to the party. It becomes clear that they are two of a kind, any inspect would note that one has a weakness to light and another to dark. It is up to the party to use all their combat ability to clear the slime twins away and make it to the next door in the dungeon.

"I'm claiming the Dark Twin," Soujiro says with the sort of wave and a smile that makes him look like the kid next door. The nice one that mows your lawn. Makes you fresh lemonaid during summer for a modest price to fund his trip to the beach. The... oh my god what happened to that sweet summer child? Soujiro gets the serious face on as he draws out Kogarasumaru, the blinding light from his sword making him somewhere between Luke Skywalker and Arthur Pendragon. Even the Dark Slime is like 'Well... <censored>' as the Samurai charges in.

Onward to the final section of the dungeon! And there it is, the final boss. Or bosses as it would be, Kauchemar smirking as she sees the dual glops forming. "So we meet again." She strides to the front of the group, ready to go all Utilitank on this matter. "I've got your six on the other, samurai." She clenches her hands, and for a moment looks more like the concept people have of nightmares as an aura of ghostly flame ignites around her. "Light and Dark, Dark and Light, Together exist, but each other fight!"

With the grim aura protecting her she's able to engage directly with the Light Slime, and put the physical stature she has as a Were Fang to beat the slime into submission.

Rather than go full hog like DosBox has been doing on his Dutys lately, he decides to focus more on support than throwing out his biggest spells. Noting the Light slime's weakness to dark, he focuses on bombarding it with an aura of penetrating darkness instead of just hitting it with a Nightmare Sphere, opening the creature up to whatever devastating attacks his allies might unleash upon it. After all, he IS the Super Support: not the super attack. "I mean, I think these two slimes are kind of on the same side, which is against us, this time, right?"

Schneider boggles at Seta and Asuna goofing off mid-dungeon. Or is that some advanced tactic he failed to understand? To Dosbox, he says, "That seems strange, but strange is par for the course with Uta. It was almost certainly some sort of tactic. Or perhaps she thought you were a garden gnome?"

Seeing the pair-o-slimes with the comlicated tactics, he narrows his eyes in a getting serious way and chants sonorously, "Deep Doomsday. To the spirits of land and air, bound by the pact, fulfill your obligation now."

He pauses, extends one hand, and shouts, "MEGADETH!" Luckily, the damage shield has been dealt with, allowing his intense energy of the cataclysmic explosion to incinerate the slime like a whelk in a supernova. Not that anything survives a supernova. But this is particularly egregious. Just the way he likes it. He smiles smugly.

    And this is where Asuna knows her job. She's not here to deal with weaknesses of the boss. She is here to get these monsters to focus on her and only her. Without a shield, though, brute force has to do. Lithe as she is, some might think she cannot keep monsters of this size off of her team.

    They would be so very, very wrong.

    She rushes forward, smashing full tilt into the light slime, driving it right into its dark partner. The one that is about to get all sorts of owned by Soujiro. She'd almost feel bad for it, if not for Asuna rule #25: No pity for boss mobs.

    The entire fight, The Flash darts from boss to boss, doing very little damage, but using her speed to frustrat any attempt at counter attacks as her team pours on the damage.

    "You... shall... not... pass!"

    Someone told her that line was totally obligatory in situations like this.

    Also obligatory is the dramatic sheating of her weapon after the enemy bursts into pixels. It's more than just a flourish! It's artistic expression.

And as the door opens after the fight with the twin bosses, it becomes clear that they have won. The next room is clear of any enemies or even puzzles, and a reward waits for each of the party. The machines within this room are like all the ones before, and broken. There's no indication that they would work. But it's clear this place once was an important place to the gnomish people, and any that came before. An old door begins to lift at the side, and will permit an easier way back to the entrance of the dungeon.

Victory gets celebrated with the token 'victory fanfare' of a raised fist from Soujiro. He can't claim any loot, being UNIQUE flagged here and he already got his a while back. It is still fun to run through! "This makes me want to do beachside training, you in," he asks, looking to Asuna first, then Kau, Dos, and Schneider. Sparkle!

    "Always!"

    He had Asuna at 'training'. This was a good run, really. She would chalk it up as a perfect execution. Especially that volleyball puzzle that she and Soujiro figured out.

    "I still have my swimsuit from that party, and after training comes the starlight bonfire party!"

Kauchemar has been here before, so no fancy loot. She was in it for the training, and facing down a Light type monster with her Dark power was perfectly fitting to that. After which she shakes her hand to dislodge some white ooze from it. "This is a dungeon where a dip in the water after isn't a bad idea." Gives her head a shake to flip her mane out of her face.

Beachside training? Schneider looks to Seta, then to Asuna, clearly imagining beachside training, and says quickly, "I'm in." Not that he can fight worth much. And magical training isn't really the same. But pretty girls and beaches are two of the greatest things in life. Now if there was barbecue there, it'd absolutely be a beach trifecta. The party bit is assumed.

Dosbox looks at the broken machines with only slight interest. If he were ACTUALLY a gnome, and not a player trapped in a game, he would most likely be focused on the historical or technological significance of the mess, but he isn't. He is just some middle-aged dude who cries at bars because he misses his cat. As Semour Skinner would say, 'Pathetic.'

He sighs, turning to his friends. "Beach parties are fun! Last one was great. Maybe I can help some more with the crab hunting this time."