Bobgoblin The Builder

    Construction is hard work. A fact Fuka points out frequently, with special emphasis on 'hard', and a knowing wink. Still she's actually a pretty good worker with a solid work ethic. Work hard, play hard. And sometimes, that means fight hard as well!

    Learning about a hobgoblin boss that somehow and for some reason fights with construction tools, Fuka proposes a break from training for ... a different sort of training! "Fighting against a boss monster that uses tools! Think of the techniques we could learn! Think of the LOOT!" she suggests cheerfully, inviting Curtana to 'oversee' her training against this boss. And saying it loudly enough that anyone in Shibuya has the possibility of overhearing and subsequently getting invited along. Since Shibuya's currently undergoing construction for the upcoming tournament, that means plenty of people might well be around to hear and come see what's up for themselves. After all, a hobgoblin that wields construction tools? Okay sure, a pickaxe maybe. But wouldn't that be more for mining?

Having been in Shibuya recently to drop off an order for cat-themed jewelry (Some Cait Sith go hard into the cat imagery, and DosBox has cat people pay Cost), DosBox just so happened to be nearby when the words 'LOOT' and 'BOSS' were said loud enough for him to hear. In a flash, he's standing next to Fuka and Curtana with big, wide, puppy dog eyes, "Did someone say... ADVENTURE?"

When Fuka came up to him several weeks ago and requesting training on how to build something, Curtana thought Fuka would be the only one training. No, he has been being trained as well, but not in a skill that's tracked by his hud. No, Fuka has been testing his patience and blushing limits with each use of the 'hard' joke. It didn't help that she had to actually explain it at first too.

A hobgoblin foreman is certainly an interesting opponent, and Curtana was also curious on how tools could be used as weapons, so it wouldn't take much to persuade him. "I'm not too interested in the loot, but I am pretty curious on what he can do...fine. Just...try not to get hammered."

Yes, the Pooka Knight can joke as well.

Curtana does blink in surprise as Dosbox is suddenly next to him, making his armor shift with the shock. "Well...not exactly, but...it would be wise to gather a few Adventurers before we go try to take down this creature."

Chikako was in town out of curiosity over the tournament. She'd missed the last one because Reasons, and she was Unhappy about that. And an unhappy Oni is a dangerous Oni.

So when she hears Fuka calling for adventurers to do... something... well.

She's bored. And a bored Oni is a dangerous Oni. For whoever it is Fuka's going to point her at, this time, at least... probably.

"Hello, there," she calls as she joins the group, smashing one fist into the opposite, cupped hand. "Sounds like you've got a jobgoblin in need of a good smacking."

    "I'm not worried about us getting hammered." Fuka observes with a smirk. "I'm worried about us getting NAILED!"

    Yeah, it's been like that. Fuka knows Curtana's weak to innuendo and she finds it both charming and hilarious.

    Fuka looks down in surprise at DosBox. The surprise being, naturally, that she's looking down. "Sure. ADVENTURE!" she cheers. One might think this is a natural state of Fuka, and one would not be entirely wrong. "All groups should be at least three people. One tank, one DPS, one support." she claims. "Five is fine. Things get awkward with more unless you've worked together. You're welcome to the tank role, Will, but I can draw aggro if you're getting screwed by the boss? I'll take whatever role's most needed. When groups get a little larger I tend to hang back, see where my efforts can be most helpful."

    She pauses, glances over at Chikako, nods. "Welcome!" she says, then snickers. "Jobgoblin. I'll have to remember that!" she says with a laugh. "Well, if no one else is coming, it's the four of us! Come on, I know where this guy's hanging out. Apparently he was lured in by all the construction going on in Shibuya, so it's not far!"

    And with that, Fuka leads the way. It's indeed not terribly long, in the Adventurer sense, before they approach the goblin cave. There are minions around but they're just goblins, no particular threat to a group like this unless they have high numbers, and this just seems like a fairly typical goblin camp. Nothing special, not yet. Fuka relies heavily on her massive greatsword, fortunately actually seeming to have room to swing it. She sticks to melee, relying on sword and armour to make it through the popcorn mobs prior to the expected boss battle itself with a minimum of lost health or mana.

Dosbox salutes to Fuka, "DosBox, Super Support, reporting for duty, Captain!" It seems Fuka's cheerful demeanor is contageous to DosBox. He follows near the back the whole time, but that does not mean he doesn't get his fair share of mook kills. Every once and a while, a large, spearhead shaped gem erupts from the ground, penetrating a goblin from crotch to cranium, all to the toon of, "o/~ Whistle while you work o/~," followed by offtune whistling. Wasn't he a gnome and not a dwarf?

With cheeks vibrantly red with intense blushing, he obviously is flustered with all of Fuka's teasing. Closing his eyes in resignment, he takes several long breaths as he attempts to calm himself down as well as parse through Fukaziroh's explination. "...y-yeah, being the tank is what I do best, but i'm glad to know you can always step in if needed. Really does help to cement my position."

If there's been one good thing about being 'trained' by Fuka like this, it's the fact he has found other strategies to deal with...sensenual teasing like this than just running away.

With both Dosbox and Chikako willing to team up with the two of them, they now have the manpower needed to handle fighting the hobgoblin forman. The journey out to the cave isn't difficult at all, and entering goblin terrority has the shaggy-haired Pooka briefly wonder if the 'Goblin Slayer' knows about this location yet. His skill with his trusty longsword and sturdy kite shield is shown, with the occasional burst of Hamon energy to repel blades and goblin alike into the cave's walls. "I honestly have to wonder what kind of style does goblin homes take. Surely it's nothing as crude as just carving into cave walls and calling it good..."

Chikako chuckles lightly. "Right, you tank, I'll smash." She grins and claps Curtana on the back, with impressive strength for such a slight frame. "Let's go smash some goblins!" She's certainly ... enthusiastic.

Her enthusiasm wanes slightly on the trip towards the site, however, as she grows bored once again. And once again, a bored Oni is a dangerous thing. About a third of the way there, she pauses to ask, "Are we there yet?" in her most chirpy, childishly annoying voice.

    Fuka considers making a comment about Curt's position. It's obvious on her face and the way she casts sidelong smirking glances... but she doesn't say it. Too easy perhaps. Also sometimes it's not what you say, it's forcing someone to realize it themselves! "Right, you take the lead, I got your back!" she agrees, almost entirely professionally.

    The group goes through the cave, which itself is nothing special. Just a standard cave, possibly once natural, mined out through typical goblin engineering. The tunnels are fairly large for goblin tunnels though, and the group has little trouble either going through them or fighting the occasional assault by defending goblins.

    The tunnels open up, however, into a much larger room. Much taller than the tunnels to be sure, and broad. An antechamber, it seems. And in the middle of the opposite wall is a set of massive doors. No doubt everyone's seen boss room doors before; this one isn't unique. It is, however, set into a cleanly-masoned wall that seems to have been expertly put together! The antechamber is a marvel of engineering, not just typical goblin construction. And above the doors is a name plaque. 'Bob the Builder'.

    "Well this looks ... unexpected." Fuka muses, looking about. "I wonder how long they took to build this? They can't have been here that long right? Seems we're in the right place at least. BOSS FIGHT TIME!"

    The room operates like a typical boss fight, being a large arena filled with masonry, racks of tools and the like. Also inside is the grossest hobgoblin anyone's seen in a long time. Huge, fat, covered in heavy armour and rock dust. The Bobgoblin awaits the adventurers, and the doors will force themselves closed and locked once the first attack is launched! It snarls, raising its weapon. "I's gonna HAMMER YOU!" it bellows. And no, the weapon isn't a maul. It isn't a mallet. It's a literal giant hammer, not even a warhammer, though given the weapon's scale it could easily work as one, even if it's not actually balanced for warfare.

Chikako's strength is impressive yet it only manages to rock the Pooka slightly, but it clearly is a surprise to Curt. Smiling towards the Oni and nodding his head, he raised an armored fist as Fuka leads the way. "Sounds perfect to me, then!"

Curt's disappointment is almost palpable as the party traverses the goblin cave, seeing nothing but exactly what he mentioned. But what lies at the end of the longest tunnel is an oasis for those seeking proof that goblins can properly build.

Then the Pooka spots the sign above the door, and one of his eyelids start to twitch as a half-remembered theme song pops into his head. "Did he build this?...yes he did." Shaking his head in disbelief, Curtana takes the lead towards the doors and shoves them open, one hand on each door.

Though, he really is impressed with the craftgoblinship.

Bobgoblin the Builder is certainly a grotesque hobgoblin, but one typical for his kind. What isn't typical is the claw hammer held in his meaty hands and the theme of this battle. "We have no intention of being hammered today. It's time for some demolition!" Leading the charge, Curtana ignites his longsword in the Firebrand arte and tosses it out to grab Bob's aggro, the Whirling Spark arte leaving scorching scratches in his armor.

Dosbox nods with furvor, "That's right! Fuka said we were getting nailed today, not hammered!" It's obvious that DosBox does not get the innuendo, and also that he misremembered what she said specifically, but he's a potato, and running on full Fuka energy.

DosBox doesn't waste any time; after EXACTLY 3 seconds, enough time for the tank to grab aggro, DosBox drops a custom diddy he recently finished: sharp gems appear on his allies' weapons, one after the other, giving some extra penetration, and then a forward targetting explosion to boot. Following that, the Rock Gnome launches flurry of Gem Missiles from the ground, one after the other into the Bobgoblinm until he needs to re-up his buff, the Gem Sword Wave Arte on his allies. Rinse repeat.

When the Hammer-Goblin shows himself and roars out his challenge, Chikako... throws her head back and LAUGHS! "Bwahahahahahaha! That's all you have? A hammer?" She shakes her head... and then reaches up to swipe her horned headband into her inventory as she swells into her true form, a massive crimson-skinned Oni with proper horns of her own!

Chikako Douji looks down at the goblin and grins wickedly, showing a mouth full of fangs, before stomping one foot to send a crack in the earth widening on its way to the monster! She waits only a moment to give it a chance to catch its foot in the trap she's created before she rushes in, fists and claws at the ready to pummel the monster!

    Fuka cheers as Curt declares his intent. "YEAH! DEMOLITION!" she agrees, staying back to unleash lightning against the grotesque hobgoblin. Chikako is a melee DPS it seems, at least by preference. Curtana also fights in melee. It's easier, for now, for her to stay back and burn through her initial mana reserves dishing out powerful air magic. And the metal-clad boss is a big fat target after all! She almost loses it, however, when DosBox makes his statement. She stumbles, looking aside at the little gnome. "Speak for yourself! I'm not getting nailed without a proper offer of good food and possibly flowers!"

    The foreman swings that hammer, but the slightly awkward weight of the weapon makes it quite predictable. It's devastating should it hit, having plenty of mass and a relatively narrow impact head like a warhammer should be, it's just not balanced to be shifted about effectively.

    Bob tries, however, lashing out with that massive hammer against those in direct reach. It bellows in frustration however, unable to squash its targets, and sends the hammer pounding into the ground, delivering a ground-rippling shockwave of force in an attempt to send everyone staggering - agilely jump the shockwave or use your skills to somehow ride it out!

    The assault damages the hammer however, and Bobgoblin the Builder tosses the weapon aside. "I'LL BRICK YOU IN HALF!" it bellows, and swipes a meaty fist through a stack of ... yes, bricks, spraying them in a broad cone of hardened clay like a blast from a shotgun.

Curtana learns very quickly that blocking those hammer swings directly is not a good idea. His shield isn't damaged, but a loud ringing impact fills the room and he staggers from the blow. What follows is a different form of tanking as the armor-clad Pooka either works with dodging the swings completely or only taking glancing strikes. What is more lethal, however, is Fuka still doesn't let up with her sexual innuendo! "Fuka, really?! Now is not the time for this!"

Chikako's fighting style is certainly a shock for Curtana and makes him glad that she is on his side. Dosbox's talent with weaponizing gems is appreciated, and Curtana keeps up the close range assault.

Bob's Quake Hammer is certainly unexpected but thankfully countered as Curtana calls upon a deep breath and channels Hamon into the earth at his feet, creating a small field of energy that stabilizes the ground. Smirking, he stands his ground within the field and starts flinging Holy beams from his sword tip. "Golden Sanctuary Overdrive!"

Dosbox tips his had with a cocky grin before muttering, "Yare Yare Daze... Don't underestimate me just because I am a Rock Gnome..."

With a quick snap, the sweet tat (that's tattoo for those of you who are not up and up on the hip slang of the youths) on DosBox's arm glows bright like hot coals, "By the blessing of Hephaestus..." he whispers quietly before his entire body ignites in Elemental Fire.

An instant later, one, two, EIGHT gauntlets assemble themselves out of loose gems pulled from the very earth itself, also becoming immolated upon full formation. And, with the telltale sound of DosBox breaching copyright, Dosbox begins exclaiming,

"ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORAAAAAA."

He repeats the mantra over and over again as all eight of the hands begin punching bricks out of the air, and they crumble to dust on contact. Damage mitigation is the job of a support, too.

Bricks. Against an Oni? The classic definition of Bricks?

Chikako Douji laughs again, mocking and harsh. "Is that all you've got?" she demands, ignoring her slowly-dropping HP counter as she presses her attack, punching larger bits of brick out of the air as she closes in to launch a new attack on Bob.

"Ah don't know, but ah've been told / Beatin' goblins never gets old!" she chants, grinning, as she fights.

    "Hey! He started it!" Fuka complains wildly, though she seems to not regret the timing or the innuendo in the slightest. Still, while trying to point at DosBox and cast blame, the shockwave hits Fuka. She's light enough on her feet that with the aid of wings, she's only staggered a little and still has her head about her when the boss issues its next threat.

    Fuka's no fool, despite allusions to the contrary, and she reads the attack as if it's telegraphed. Which, to be fair, it kind of is. She summons up a defensive shield, channeling more air mana into her skin. This does two things; it gives her a certain resilience against blunt attacks, and turns her skin a pleasant shade of light blue. She's struck by some of the bricks, those not pulverized entirely by DosBox's supporting strike, but her air defense counters the earth-based attack handily. Between the magical shield and her own armour, she takes little damage beyond a light scuffing despite having been somewhat off-balance.

    The hobgoblin boss, damaged somewhat heavily by lightning bolts, claws and fangs, swords, and pierced repeatedly by gems, has a health bar deplete, revealing another red bar underneath. The fight's clearly not over yet, and in fact it seems like another boss stage has begun! "I SAW what you did there!" it cries out, reaching down to its waist to yank at its belt. Curtana might want to cover his eyes as it does something rather obscene.... no wait, not what it looks like at all. That belt isn't actually a belt. It's a coil of metal around the hobgoblin's huge waist. It pulls the coil up, revealing that the metal band has jagged teeth, and two handles sized for its fists. A saw indeed. Bobgoblin whips the saw around it, sending the weapon arcing outwards somewhat unpredictably in an attack that's hard to dodge but pretty easy to block. And as vicious as those blade teeth are bound to be, it's not a weapon that has enough weight to do more than surface lacerations. The opposite, it seems, of it's hammer.

Despite clearly being a fan of the source material of his Hamon, Curtana's knowledge of the series is actually rather sparse. While he had read the first part and a portion of the second, anything that came afterwards is a mystery to him. So while he does it fact recognize Dosbox thanks to jokes made about it, he doesn't actually know it well. "Oh, you recreated that punching rush attack...with gems? Now that's different!"

An old song comes to mind as bricks go flying between Chikako and Bob the Hobbuilder, and despite himself, it slips out. "Oh, she's built like a brick...house!~"

Realizing that there are hints in Bob's dialogue, Curtana struggles to find the clue as Bob reaches for his belt...and barely gets his shield up in time to avoid being blinded by rows of metal teeth. Keeping his head low behind his shield, the Knight starts pushing forward, determined to keep that saw focused entirely upon him. His platemail and shield can keep the worst of the blows at bay, the same can't be said for everyone else around him.

Dosbox curses under his breath; he forgot to prepare Mordenkaiden's Faithful Watch Dog today. The still flaming Rock Gnome gets as busy as a bee, coating himself in a scintillating aura of dark magic.  Then, he thrusts a glowing hand in the direction of one of his allies, and a stone catapult appears below him, instantly launching himself in that direction. using himself as a mobile deflection disc when a blow gets past Curtana. DosBox throws his arms in front of him, and a shield of flames appears at the last second; DosBox is able to quite successfully block two or three blows this way, though at severe cost to his health bar. The ultimate truth comes out as DosBox's HP bar begins to chirp loudly: he is a support with no heal spells.

As Bob's hand reaches for his belt, Chikako Douji retches. "Oh man, no, don't - " but it's not his belt he's removing, just another carpentry-themed weapon. Phew.

"Right, no, that's still WRONG, five-dee-six pun damage!" She opens up with another volley of punches as she darts around the whirling blade to get close enough to actually hit the monster. She's nowhere near perfect at it, however, and her HP total is steadily dropping through the yellow even as she lands blow after blow.

"Oi, Fukacchin! You didn't say anything about him being a punster!"

    "I didn't know!" deflects Fuka to Chikako. Oh well, guess even the most obnoxious bosses have redeeming features. "But ... come on, Bobgoblin the Builder? THERE WERE CLUES!" she observes hotly. Man, whoever coded this battle into the original Elder Tale, assuming it's not some god somewhere manipulating actual reality, sure loved their dumb references and pun game.

    Things are starting to look a little grim. Sure, Fuka's health is okay. Curtana seems to be relatively fine. That's because both are quite tanky, it seems. Chikako's DPS dwarfs the rest of the group members, and DosBox is keeping the worst of the attacks well-smothered. But then, that's the nature of the roles. It's the tank's job to get in the way, and it's Fuka's job to see what's happening and do what needs doing when it needs doing.

    "Ola Repth!" Fuka cries out. The little sylph is a flexible combatant, having access to all elements. In this case, light spells... and specifically, a broad-area regeneration effect. The healing is slow, and probably doesn't even overcome the damage being taken by anyone, but it surely helps overall survival.

    The boss's health bar kicks over one last time, and this time as it continues to take damage, the bar just shrinks. No further colours behind it. It's its last health bar it seems. "PICK on someone your own size!" Bobgoblin the Builder complains, reaching down to its side to locate a new weapon. Then it freezes for a moment, the damage continuing to deplete its health. Finally it shakes its massive head. "Not Bob's size. Then I'DRILLY like you all to die!" it yells, abruptly yanking a spinning rotating weapon up and forward, pressing forward as it attempts to rampage through the party of adventurers, the spinning tip of the weapon leading the charge.

Curtana has always considered himself a decent tank, having learned over the past few years on what it takes to be a knight in ETO. One part of that is to constantly keep an eye on your allies HP, even in the middle of a hectic battle. Fuka knows this as well and covers with an Ola Repth, but it's only a stopgap measure with the amount of damage Bob is capable of. "Fuka, switch with me!" Calling out for the off tank, Curtana leaps backwards to gain some distance between himself and Bob.

Falling back to an improvised technique, the stalwart knight swipes several of this homebrewed health potions and toss one towards Dosbox and Chikako. His aim isn't going to be the best, but he didn't have to be. Chanting softly under his breath as the potions splashed against the ground, swirls of air captured the liquid and aironized them, spreading out the healing effect. It's going to make it weaker than just drinking it, but it should help alongside the Ola Repth spell.

Expecting a pickaxe to be the final weapon of choice, Curtana is caught flatfooted by the drill, sent flying into one of the last remaining stacks of bricks. "Ow...okay, that last one was really a stretch. Plastered me against the wall." Standing back, Curtana starts casting another spell, a pinpoint of energy gathering at the tip of his longsword as he directs it at Bob the Builder. "After we're done with you, there's no-filling your position as top builder!" With that, Curtana unleashes the Empyrial Arrow spell, senting a dart of piercing light at the giant Hobgoblin.

Dosbox realizes that he is a terrible offtank, and finds cover behind the biggest rock nearby. The chirping of his health bar is going frantic. He had never been in the single digits of health before. Part of it was invigorating, but most of it was terrifying. Luckily, his HP quickly begins to tick upward due to Fuka's regen ability. DosBox releases a sigh of relief.

From the safety of his rock, he gives out yet another of his new abilities. He holds out his arm, braced by the rock he's hiding behind before whispering,

"Minecraft."

From the ground burst a myriad of small stones, gems, and bits of metal, all impossibly sharp, which slip up, around and through Bob's armor like buckshot through paper. The Bobgoblin's armor looks like metal swiss cheese afterwards as the bits fall to the ground with a clatter. Usually, rocks conjured thusly disipate after the spell effect is finished, but these small gems, rocks and stones seem to be persisting for some reason...

Chikako Douji may well be dealing out more damage, but she's taking damage as well, and there's a tiny part of her that is watching her HP creep to the bottom of the yellow zone and into the red. A bit of healing is welcome to that tiny bit of her... even if most of her ignores it.

And now he's gone to a drill. That's going to make things interesting. Rather easier to dodge than the massive saw whipping all over the place, though, and the HP drain slows a bit. "I'm gonna have to punch some holes in your argument, Bobby." Laughing, she backs off to give Dosbox's spell room to strike, before following it in - leaping up to launch a heavy kick at the bobgoblin's face! (It might be overkill. But, hey, ONI.)

    "WHAT?" Fuka shrieks, though more in dismay than disbelief. It makes sense for them to switch. Fuka's mana reserves are low, meaning she now has to melee to deliver any further harm. "Seriously Will, talk about bad timing! Proper place and time!" she insists. And as reluctant as she sounds to do what Curtana asks, she does it anyways, tugging her shawl free from beneath her neckline while she berates the Knight. "Over here, ugly!" she shouts. The shawl is ... kind of hideous. Not fashionable at all, made as it is from parts of particularly nasty monsters. It's eye-catching however, and it gets Bobgoblin's undivided attention for a moment. Long enough for Curtana to get clear and see to the healing of desperately low health allies, and to allow him that one ranged light attack.

    Fuka's heavy blade comes up and slams diagonally across, as she tries to wreck the drill. Or use the weight of her weapon to drive its point aside, at least, in a desperate attempt to avoid facetanking the business end. "I'm not looking to get drilled!" she insists, as DosBox sprays stones and gems into the tattered remnants of the boss's armour.

    Chikako takes advantage of Fuka's tanking. With the drill engaged and out of line, the Oni has a clean shot and she takes it, launching her foot into the hobgoblin's face. It's enough to take the last of the boss's final health bar and the creature topples over before bursting into a shower of gory red pixels.

Bob the Builder is finally slain, his last construction and demolition job in these caves coming to a fruitless end. As the shower of pixels start falling to the ground and fading, Curtana pulls out a few more potions in case anyone actually wants to drink it for healing this time.

Uncorking a blue potion to help with his mana regeneration, he starts to take a few quick chugs before nearly coughing it back up into the bottle. "Fuka! For the love that all is right with the world...Phrasing!" And knowing that he's likely going to get teasing about it once again, Curt resigns himself and goes back to quaffing his homebrew brew.

He's gotten used to Fuka by now.

The Burning Rock Gnome goes out like a candle as soon as the Builder finally falls. "I probably could have used Stone skin instead of almost dying. Huh. Next time." He flops down on the ground and lets out a groan akin to a death rattle.

    As the boss falls, Fuka finds herself both relieved and surprisingly a little wistful it's over. Sure dying is bad, but *living* is great, and a challenging fight against a morally simple enemy is her kind of fun, especially with friends.

    And speaking of friends... "What!?" she blurts, her grin countering the outrage of her tone. "I don't want to be drilled by a big fat hobgoblin! You can't blame me for that!" she complains, then abruptly switches gears. "I mean I guess I can't blame him for trying either, right? He just had uncontrollable urges to *do things* with my body, and so..." she gestures vaguely in the direction of the boss's last pixel spray. "... We did things to his instead. Seems fair I guess!"

    Fuka has a unique take on perspective. Possibly because she's short.