Duty Session 573: Windmill Menace
The Hunter's Guild has issued a request for Obsidian and Porcelain (read: Junior) Hunters to investigate a disturbance in the Ninetails farmlands. Reports are coming in that some maniac is attacking a windmill claiming it is a boss monster.
Rec. Party: 3+
Nothing like a simple adventure to really get the lead out! Soujiro has a bright smile on his face with the idea of doing work that a hero would do: Save the Farmland! Classic tale. "No quest to small. No thread too thin," says the simple minded samurai who has threads on da brain.
Honami liked to explore. She really did. And an easy excuse was always following one of the raid leaders. In this case, she was following Soujiro Seta, "Yes, all things must be in balance before their destruction." Honami agrees, walking after Soujiro with a dark grin, holding a large greatsword rested over her shoulder as she walks.
She was being relatively subdued at the moment. Likely because a certain sparkly man is distracting. Look. Very few people are immune to the sparkle. Even the chuuni. It just makes her recoil a little in fear when he turns it on full blast. "Do we know much of the actual source of the problem? Or is it a mysterious mystery of mysteriousness?" Honami asks. She's maybe in a little bit more of a silly mood than normal. Maybe. Don't mind the shadowy rose petals that swirl around her as she walks. She's just making her own special effects.
At Honami's mention of destruction, Nyanta raises a furry eyebrow, "Well, hopefurrlly, it will be our foes who meet their end today, and nyawt meouch else, nya."
She doesn't fawn over Seta, like so many women do, but those who know her as a seventy-seven year old bricklayer probably understand why. She's not discourteous at all, she likes him, but she's not the fawning type, so there you go.
"Chief," she greets Nyanta, offering a nod to her one-time mentor. She's done well by his training, it seems, but there's an undertone of solid respect, the way one might use senpai at work for a more experienced and wise coworker.
"Oh hello there miss Oni and Nyanta good to see you again, same to you Goldenblade."
She would be swishing her tail at Souji and grins.
"So what's the plan?"
No sooner than when the party arrives on site do they see what could
be the source of the problem. Plant monsters. Lots of them.
Raddish monsters the size of small red boulders roll in to engage with
the Adventurers. They are not using their head, in terms of their
tactics being very basic, but are using their heads, in terms of being
rolly polly headbutters.
This request will be over soon if the party can overpower them in
close combat or tap into the traditional grass weakness logic: burn
the plants up.
These raddishes are oh so rad. Soujiro is more than happy to dash into the fray and fight familiar plant monsters. Were they radiated by some sort of mutagen? Did they rise up against the farm that oppressed them? So much to discover! The happiness on the samurai's face is only matched by the sharpness of his katanas a he helps in dicing up dem veggies.
Once in the village, it becomes clear that their salad days are over, and they are being rudely garnished by savage radishes. Goldenblade of course has the solution to your radish needs: 350 degrees for an hour. Though in a pinch, you can do 1000 degrees for 20 seconds for about the same effect. It ends up looking like all her cooking attempts, though. Burned yuck.
"Of course it shall be just our foes! And perhaps a windmill as well, I heard that, perhaps, it could be a boss monster!" Honami says with a dark chuckle. "It is my wish that this world be as happy as possible, even as the Lady Demonrose Honami, one of few remaining members of the forgotten army of the Scrapped Princesses, the one who shall destroy this world!" Oooh ho ho ho ho ho~! ... Ah. Okay. That's what's going on. She's a roleplayer. The scrapped princess wars happened way too long ago for anyone to still be alive from it.
"I do not believe we have met, by the way. I--" Pause. "Oh my gosh I'm sorry I got too much into the role again, uhm... yeah. I'm Honami! Nice to meet you." She dips into a one-handed curtsy. "It's harder to resist now that I'm Honami full time..." To Goldenblade, there is a deeper, more respectful curtsy. Mostly because she recognizes her. "Hello, Lady Goldenblade! I hope you are doing well. Something about someone calling a windmill a boss? I'm not sure other than that, to be honest..." Pause. Miss Oni? Honami tilts her head, motioning at herself. "Moi? Oni? Non! I am merely a spriggan, not quite so far gone as to have become a yokai as of yet!"
Pause. Raddish monsters? And they're rolling towards her? Honami's eyes actually light up at the prospect. "Oh my gosh, Raddishes! DELICIOUS!" She calls out, lifting her greatsword and immediately darting forward. "Oooh, I wonder if they'll drop raddish coins?" She swings her great sword forward towards the foremost raddish, laughing wildly as she cleaves it through the first one... and starts to go forward towards the next immediately afterwards. "COME, MEET THINE DOOM, DELICIOUS RED RADDISH BEINGS! MY HUNGRY STOMACH CALLS OUT FOR THEE, AND MY DARK BLADE THIRSTS FOR THY DELICIOUS JUICES!" She calls out. Yep. Her moments of clarity were gone again, right back into the chuun.
Perhaps the radishes were listening, as that is exactly the tactic they try to implement on the adventurers. They are not as successful as they would have liked, however, as these are no mere common adventurers.
In response to Honami's monologue, he blinks a few times before giving a rogueish smile, "Well, furr be it for me to deny a lady of her desires, nya..." Rather than traditional swordplay, Nyanta instead moves to cut the radishes into cookable slices: far from an optimal decision, as they are currently trying to kill the party, but cuisine is not something that one merely performs a hack job on.
Well she seem keen to power on though it like a tiny little blender, she slices, she dices and just tears into the plants yelling I won't star in the movie you want to make. What is she babbling about? Maybe it's best you do not know.
your brawl with the plant-based baddies. One squeaks and falls over,
the last of its health depleted. "Those are mine!" the angry farmer
declares as he stops towards the Adventurers.
It looks as if this is a misunderstanding. The farm isn't under
assault by plant monsters. The farm is being defended by these
critters against some maniac knight that appears at sunset. An honest
mistake. The farmer doesn't mutter about muderhobo Adventurers; his
eyes say it all.
Both to repair the misstep and prepare for an upcoming assault, the
farmer and the group start repairing the damage done. The plant
creatures that were injured would do well with traditional healing
methods such as pharmacy and light, but also respond well to herbology
talents in restoring and fortifying their health.
Soujiro's foolproof plan was fooled! By the wrong things to slash. "Looks like we attacked the wrong group," says Souji without shame, but with a earnest repentant heart as he works on healing up all the injured little veggie soldiers. They get little hearts over their heads because OF COURSE THEY DO with all those sparkles. Not even raddishes are immune to this Samurai!
"Hit it 'til it dies, the tried and true tactic of all shock soldiers~." Honami cheerfully agrees with Nyanta as she continues her rampage through the raddishes. And then pauses as a farmer comes running out. Yelling out and asking what they're doing. "Uhm. They came out to attack. So I was going to farm some raddish coins!" Honami responds cheerfully to the farmer. And then the farmer says that they were his. Whoops. "Uhm."
Pause. She looks towards the raddishes. She looks towards the farmer. She carefully steps towards one of the injured raddishes, trying to pat it. And pulling out a little bit of water to try to water it. And then, unable to resist because she apparently LOVES raddishes, leans in to take a small bite of one of the raddishes. Look, she's good at breaking things, not fixing them. Crunch. Crunch. She's trying to at least kind of be sneaky about it. Don't mind the teeth marks on the raddish.
"In our defense." Crunch. "They did roll up on and surround us, and we're adventurers." Crunch. "Of course we'd react defensively and attack them first." Honami comments. "...I'm still very sorry about it though! ...You should probably tell them not to randomly attack full parties of adventurers!" ... ... Honami is apparently not good at apologizing. Made worse by the raddish in her mouth.
Peculiarities like plant monsters we're supposed to defend. "Why would you..." she begins, and shuts up. It's a game, it doesn't need a 'why'. What she doesn't know is how to heal plants. Her main healing helper, the oxygen bottle, helps people, but not plants, and her knowledge of first aid from occupational health training, every blessed year the same thing, never mentioned healing plants. So while she tries to be useful, she is not very useful.
With many of the troops restored to fighting strength, there is the
matter of preparing the farm itself. It is clear the enemy will come
to them instead of needing to be found, so raising the defense now
will help the upcoming fight.
A capable monster capturer could go out and round out additional
troops to defend the farm. More numbers are better! A skilled farmer
can help restore the damage to the farm itself. It does not help with
combat, but the point of the farm is to create food and yields are
already damaged from these assaults. Restoring yields is why the
Adventurers are here, too!
Those that lack specific talents can help by restoring the damaged
fence and even build a few structures before sunset that would serve
as a tactical advantage. If all else fails, manual labor at the
direction of the farmer will put those strong (or weak) Adventurers to
Manual labor? Yes! Soujiro jumps at the chance to put those healthy muscles to work. "This is different," says the ever positive samurai, "like the time the Hunter's Guild sent us towards a dinner party. Maybe the farmer just wanted some company." No. Judging by Farmer Mac's eye twitch he is perfectly happy NOT having his farm wrecked by crazy Adventurers and the nightly menace. "Need a hand with that, Honami," he asks, the samurai of light sparkling with the 'our hands nearly touched' trope as he picks up that construction material bag nearby... and tosses it on the Jenga Tower of them he is already hauling. Then one at Miho. If you are stronk, this is like a really fun game of pass the ball-of-heavy-materials
"I have trained like this before my Peatron helped me out with it last time!" Well she has experiance, she's past any level of strength a human from earth should have. ... And she love it.
It's fine. Ralph is alive still at least! He'll probably heal. Just not with the help of this party, that's for sure. Still, somehow, they managed to restore the raddishes to something vaguely approaching fighting strength! ... ... ... Probably. ... Maybe. Yeah, they're going to need to give the poor raddishes every advantage they could give them. "I, uh. ...I'm pretty strong so can help out with stu...ff..." Honami blinks as she was reaching for something. Sparkling samurai nearly touching her as she did. Huh. Well. Okay then. Yep. This happened. "...I'm... kind of strong... but thanks anyway...?" Looks like the Chuuni is broken. Honami is too busy trying to figure out what just happened. Also working on doing what she can to help build up the defenses and repair the fence. She can help carry big logs and such! And push comes to shove, she's not terrible at chopping down trees. Sure, her technique sucks and she gets poor quality wood due to her lack of woodworking skill, but she's making an effort!
Yeah this poor farmer's not going to have a farm by the end of the night, most likely. Also Honami is still occasionally munching on Nyanta's dish that he shared with her. Because it's delicious. Sweet and spicy in just the right ways.
The farmer says the windmill is the main target of the maniac. The
farmer needs it to mill grains into flour and there is nothing
particularly special about it beyond minor wind enchantments. Knowing
that it is the 'end game' here, the remaining time before sunset is
spent on the windmill itself.
Those capable of System Protection can place protection on the
windmill itself. Likewise an enchanter can add durability and
resistance to the windmill through improving the enchantment on it.
Anyone with a pair of hands can start armoring up the windmill against
attacks with plating reinforcement or, if they have the correct
element, lend their elemental mana to the enchantment that exists on
Soujiro rolls his sleeves up. He is no caster. He DOES have MP just like everyone else and has no problem offering up his supply of it to the Enchantments there. It like donating blood. Magical, Enchanting-Fuel oriented blood.
Aw yeah, wards. Honami is... did I mention that Honami isn't good at fixing or reinforcing things? She's better with tiny little fiddly things or things that she can break. Magical reinforcements? Can she sing at them? She tries to sing at them. It's not very effective, because magical singing really doesn't help with reinforcing windmills. At least her singing voice isn't that bad though, so maybe it'll help with the morale of the group?
She's even managing to resist munching more on Ralph! Because she's very tempted. Instead she distracts herself trying to help out the people who are actually competent at this. Eventually she gives up and just goes over to a corner. Where she is definitely not sulking while sharpening her sword. Yep. Not sulking /at all/.
"Man there was a western book with an crazy knight who went after a windmill..."
A figure riding a steed is seen making his way towards the farm. He is
a coyote werefang that inspects as 'Donald Dela Mancha' but he
announces himself as 'Don Coyote' with an invigorating howl to
accompany the beating hoofs of his donkey steed. His heavy armor is
ramshackle 'junk tier' platemail and he seems harmless except for the
red crystal that glows on his shield, which explains all the scorch
marks around the farm.
Don Coyote's steed comes to a sudden stop, and the knight lands
heroically onto the field. Don's sword blazes to light in holy avenger
format as he charges into combat, ready to do combat with the trash
mobs before the boss. Trash mobs are you and the plant defenders. The
boss is the windmill. Don isn't right in the head. He is beyond
reasoning with, but he isn't immune to the calming tunes of a song to
appeal to his emotions.
Alternatively, you could give Don what he wants: a fight. Shield
defenses and Water will keep the fire damage down while dark-based
debuffs will reduce his accuracy. If you can contain the fire damage
to the structures, Don himself is not a big threat as far as bosses
You want a fight? You got a fight! Heeeyyaa! Soujiro hops into the frey. He takes on a defensive, tanking stance as he engages with the werefang, supported by Kogarasumaru's ghostly appearances now and again. It is plenty to press the menace back and further from the farm and windmill.
And then... a man begins to approach the windmill! A Coyote Werefang! Donald Dela Mancha. Don Coyote? Wasn't there some story about this? Hooooowl. Blink. Blink. Honami just... watches the man as he approaches. "...Don. Don it's a windmill. I'm all for destruction but it's just a windmill. In fact. There isn't even a windmill." Honami lifts her hand, invoking the power of DORKNESS -- I mean DARKNESS to cast an arcane spell. Who needs to reinforce the windmill, when you can just cast an illusion on the confused knight to make it seem as if she were /dispelling/ an illusion. "See? Nothing there. It's just an illusion to make the farm look better." She says. Reasoning with him, maybe not. Confusing him? Yeah, she can do that. "Go home Don, you're drunk. You just need to go sleep it off."
Even if he doesn't listen to her, it's hard to aim for something that's not visible, right? Don't mind the glowing eyes. You're definitely not being hypnotized by the dark knight.
When the Don (not Don Fluffles, mind you, else we'd be screwed) arrives, Nyanta draws his blades swiftly and confidently. The sheer confidence that the Coolest Cat in ETO emits as he slowly advances on the Don is enough to make the would be arsonist miss dramatically with much of his fire magic. His calculating eye causes the Don to fall back ever so slightly with each step of the Dandy Cat; the Were Coyote instinctually knows that Nyanta is dangerous, and that he needs to stay out of range of his rapiers: and his claws!
"This is some Gazeebo level madness."
She'll dip and weave using her Nagitna to strike where she can.
excellent job in controlling the damage. It does not take long before
Don Coyote's own shield betrays him and the affixed crystal falls out
and onto the ground. The fire is put out entirely.
"The day is yours," the Don concedes, unable to press on without his
secret weapon, "but mark my words that I shall return if my name is
not Doooonnnn Coooytteee." He hops onto his trusty donkey and raises
high up, sword held high like the hero he believes himself to be. Then
he is bravely running away.
The fire crystal is not an inexpensive item so it buys the farm plenty
of time before Don gets ahold of another. Time to report to the
Hunter's Guild and let them know what happened here at the farm.
Souji waves to Don as he heads out. He is exceptionally clear on who is an enemy and who is a friend. Don is just messed up in the noggin. "Bye Don!" he says cheerily. Hey, everyone needs a hobby. His... is... attacking windmills.
"Gazebo... level... madness? I think I might be missing some jokes that exist." Honami says confusedly towards Miho. She'd heard that the writers in america had some strange stories, but she didn't know exactly /how/ strange, apparently. Either way, it seems The Don has conceeded victory to them! "...Have a good night Don! ...Go sleep off that booze! ...Please don't come back!" She pauses, looking towards the Don's retreating form. Then towards the others. And the farmer.
"...I think we caused more damage than he did, to be honest..."