Duty Session 574: The Doodie

The adventurers begin their quest at the Hunter's Guild information desk, where they have received the quest note and are given the lowdown on the quest in one go. DosBox is waiting patiently for the others to arrive with a Cait Sith Receptionist who is, seemingly unwillingly, speaking with 'Cat Speak'. Due to DosBox's height, he is up on a stool.

Yeowang would not normally run a duty in the sewers, except in dire need, herself, or if her aid is urgently needed for something. But she's just started a capital-intensive project, and more capital is what she is after right now. Also, the obsessive mood she's in has blunted her dislike of yuck and filth enough to have her go, though she does keep her hood tied snugly around her head to keep any yuck out of her long blonde hair, and she's traded some mobility by upgrading the ankle boots she typically wears to thigh-high boots of stout black leather. Unpolished, as she's still a scout-type, or sort of. The class name, Shadowfist, implies stealth, but any stealth she brings to the class is all her own later training. She does seem a bit distracted, and as we wait to get moving, she seems to be talking to herself, though about what is unclear.

Erufu had been in the Guild Hall to pick this up, why Guildgirl had been snickering when they turned to head out? No one will ever know as she'll never tell them not even the elf. So here we were she doesn't like Sewers but this is a place gtoblins could hide after all so that's part of it. Yeowang she knows and truts very well but she does seem a but concerned at Dosbox whom is he? She'll find out today.

"Good to see you Yeowang and so Dosbox was it?"

Dosbox waves to Erufu and Yeowang, "Oh hi! Yep! DosBox! That's what they call me. Thanks for coming! Nice to see you both again!"

The Cat Girl Receptionist waits for DosBox to finish his greetings before she bows, "Welcome to the Hunter's Guild, nya. By nyame is Rebbeca, and I will be your receptionist today, nya. Please hold all questions until after the debriefing, nya." She clears her throat, taking the bill from the counter and reading from it directly, "The problem was first nyaoticed around myihdnight on the last day of the festival. Rats began coming up while people were uhh nya-yuck!" Rebecca takes on a horrified look, as if this were the first time she were reading the bill, handing the bill off to DosBox, "Ah... Using the facilities. Your quest today is merely to find the clawse of the issue. If you can solve the problem, that would be better, though... nya. While you're down there, be sure to get a water sample, nya." She bows one more time, "Are there any questions? Uh... Nya?" It's obvious she is putting a lot of effort into the cat schtick.

Yeowang huhs distractedly as Erufu greets her, then as Erufu greets Dosbox, she looks at him as if just noticing him for the first time. "Oh," is all she says, though. The Guild catgirl's briefing is half-listened to, and she nods, commenting dryly "Slimes in the cesspits. Common problem. You need more bleach. Most slimes don't like it, and a few metamophosize into bleach slimes, which propagate and clean your cesspits." It might help, it might not, she might even be commenting on our mission, it's unclear.

Erufu makes a face and nods. "I have had to deal with worse." She does run with Orcbalg after all, right? Still though that man is one heck of a person when you get down to it. She pauses for a moment "Slimes? Wouldn't they consume the waste and such? Or do not the slimes of this land... hummm." She's lost in thought she shakes her head at Rebecca and says "None, we should get this done as soon as we can...shall we?"

The receptionist looks at Yeowang with a flat look, as if to say, 'That wasn't a question,' and, 'I just work here,' and, 'It is not my job to clean the sewers,' and, 'Give that suggestion to someone whose job it is.' She does NOT say any of these things, however, because it IS her job to be polite to adventurers. She bows one more time before saying, "If there are no questions... Thank you, and good luck on your quest. ...Nya." She gives a forced smile, as if to say, 'Thank you, next next.'

DosBox nods, "Okay, since I was here first, you can all follow me! I used to work in corporate, so I am used to shovelling... ah... doodie. Metaphorically speaking. This is just literal this time." And with that, DosBox leads the group... Down... Into the sewer...

The first sewer region features smooth rock, and confusing winding paths that make it difficult to track where one is going. There is no lighting, which requires people to bring lights. There's the occasional slime, rat, and spider monster infestation here in various areas. Whatever is causing the backup down here, however, must be larger than those typical vermin usually found scurrying around the sewers.

When the adventurers come across their first waterflow, one of the secondary objectives comes to mind: Get a water sample. Those proficient with alchemy and pharmacy are familiar with procuring uncontaminated samples, as are those who are just familiar with Water in general, though to a lesser degree.

Yeowang nods to Erufu about slimes consuming waste. "They will, but then they become poop slimes, and that's beyond disgusting and won't clean anything. Bleach slimes will bleach whatever they come into contact with while they're eating the yuck." Why does she even know this? Well, she did organize Uta's slime rental business, seems she picked up a bit. The receptionist's expression is ignored, but she smiles oddly at Dosbox when he mentions working at corporate.

On seeing the yucky water, she pulls an empty flask from her inventory and simply dunks the end into the water and turns it up, capturing some. Stoppering the flask, it goes in a beltpouch, because if there's organics there, they won't survive in her inventory. She cleans her hand off with a quite expensive-looking hankerchief.

With that the group heads out she wonder though did Guild Girl herself have something to do with them getting that job? She'll never know, but she should hit up her and Cowgirl soon. It's been far too long since the three of them did something together.

She makes a face but its not like she hasn't had to handle this before. She pauses for a moment and looks about at the water. She makes a face and she starts to chant a water spell to handle this.

Dosbox collects his own water from the... "stream"... and begins flitting his fingers at the vial. Both his fingers and the vial begin to glow. "Hmm. That's weird. I think maybe slimes is about right. It seems the slime population of the sewers is higher than it should be, which is what might be causing the rats to flee for less murky waters?" DosBox puts his vial away, giving a shrug. "We'll have to see, going forward."

DosBox notes the hankerchief; is that silk? He is somewhat nervous about the fact that such an expensive item is not feces covered, but he says nothing, choosing instead to focus on the path ahead of him.

Even preliminary evidence hints that the issue is somewhat slime related, but in order to truly understand the predicament, the party must descend deeper into the doodie.

Continuing along the side of the waterflow, the adventurers travel deeper into the sewer. The pungent stench of doo doo eminates from the wet dungeon walls. The darkness permeates entirely save for whatever light the adventurers brought with them. The ground is slick with mildew and other substances. And there are definite signs of vermin residing down here.

Speaking of vermin, a horde of rats is barelling down the pathway in mid-flight response! They seem crazed with fear as they scurry in the party's direction, more specifically away from whatever it is they are fleeing from. They even knock one or two of their kin into the river off to the side. The party could try calming the vermin down, or engage in rat squashing (rumored to be a popular activity in certain Lander cultures!)

Sample collected, she continues along with the others, a lantern from her inventory providing a flickery light. Rats here, itr seems, are not afraid of the light. Or else are more afraid of what's behind them as they stampede, as it were, towards the party. However Yeowang is a bit too dazed to react to the yuck of rats and calmly kicks, stomps, and smashes rats in a blur of motion, sort of like a Mexican Hat Dance. Except this is more of a Rat Dance, and they vanish in a puff of tiny XP as her boots, which were made for walking, walk all over the rats.

Erufu is just making a face at eveyrthing here. "If rats are fleeing it's bad, very /bad/." She also knows they got to go towards what the rats are running away from in the end.

"We now have an idea of which way they are fleeing at the very least so that's where we need to ...."

She will get on the move trying to track just where they are fleeing from.

"Look out!"

Dosbox squeals like a little girl, darting behind the powerful, intimidating Yeowang as he goes down a peg on the Fearless Leader scale. Still, the girls MASSACRE the rats before he can say the word, 'Genocide.' He laughs nervously before moving forward as if nothing happened.

After the confusion of the swarm, the party has gotten themselves turnedaround. The area they are in now seems to be a large open cave featuring jagged rocks everywhere. These would no doubt hurt if the party haphazardously crashed into them. The party's light, which has been sufficient until now is lacking in terms of pathfinding. To get a lay of the land (such as it is), the party will have to improve their illumination. In order to get their bearings straight, they will need to check their tracks and see where they have been. With the ankle deep sewer water, tracking the way back may be difficult. Perhaps as important as knowing where they have been is knowing where they are going. Someone experienced at Searching may reveal a clue as to where to go next.

Yeowang looks around in the aftermath of rat smashing and notes that we are in a maze of twist passages, all alike. This is a bit confusing for her, at first, but as she looks around more critically, with her game-enhanced senses, the tracks of rats coming (and not going, as they all dies) remind her which way is which, and she is able to re-orient herself.

Erufu has long ago got this out of her system, why? Goblin Slayer, that's why seriously. He does care about you living though it but you may not like what he does to up your odds of surival then again the man did not play dice when it came to hunting. Once the rats are over with she'll keep moving and and dealing with whatever may come for them next.

Dosbox does his best to light up the room with a small, floating, glowing ball of magic. It... Doesn't work as well as he would have liked, but it does light up a little better than the torches. "I... Am glad you two know where we are going. I'm lost..."

With the help of more light, however small, and with two expert trackers to assist in rediscovering their position, the party was able to advance forward. Furthermore, one of the party members is a Grand Master at 'I Spy', as they discovered one of the jagged rocks was, in fact, a lever to open a nearby secret door! Fortuitous!

Like any properly hidden room, however, it is BOOBY TRAPPED!!! More specifically, it is doodie trapped, as those arrows look like the tips are covered in something you don't want going inside you.

Someone who knows what they are doing could easily snip the trigger wire before the secret door fully opens. Barring that, the adventures could either dodge the arrows, deflect them, or contract Sepsis.

After finding her way forward from the rat ambush, we seem to have found maybe where they came from? Or what they were fleeing, at least. This leads to a secret door, and that leads to triggering a trap of arrows, and the blades are the opposite of sanitary. Yeowang isn't bothered, stepping aside from the barrage to a safe area until the last of them have landed and thunked into the slimy, wet ground, generally with a nasty noise. "Someone wants their privacy," she remarks.

Arrows, Arrows covered in shit, it's a goblin tactic, she knows it well. So she does not hold still she channels the power of her cloak. She just seems to ripple a few times as she flips and dodges out of the way of all the arrows. "Is everyone all right?"

Dosbox flips, dodges and spins out of the way of the arrows, just like the other two. It's a regular party of NINJAS up in hea'!!! He lets out a little sigh, "I think we are all fine. It wasn't the BEST trap in the world." To Yeowang, he said, "I can totally feel that. When I want my alone time, I usually don't want to be bothered either." With the amazing discovery of the secret door, the party is one step closer to the TRUE cause of the rat swarms fleeing to the surface!

Beyond the hidden cave wall/door is a sight most unexpected in the middle of a sewer: A wizard's study! The room is wall-to-wall bookshelves, and each shelf is filled to capacity with books! In the very middle of the room is a desk made of some luxurious wood. Sitting in a sturdy chair behindthe desk is where one would normally assume the owner of this hidden sactuary of knowledge to be.

That being said, this creature is anything but normal. If you were to picture taking a six-foot tall form of chocolate pudding, putting it in an expensive office chair, dressing it up in a decaying, red wizard robe and hat, and then, using a blob fish for its head like a giant Oobleck Snowman, you could, maybe, get a general dea of what this man looks like.

When he senses the party enter, he turns with a start and speaks in a strangled, raspy voice, "H-h-hey! Y-you're fleshy! F-fleshy can-not-not-not be t-trusted! E-eschew the f-flesh! M-massacre the f-flesh!"

He does look like he's ready to throw down; not only is he a powerful magus, but his body is acidic and shock absorbing. Further, physical attacks seems to have no effect, as slashing or stabbing wounds vanish almost instantly!

Regardless, he does seem to personable, so he could probably be distracted with some soothing words. One could also destabilize his gooey form with some alchemy. He seems slightly more susceptible to fire than other magic, as he has been, apparently, eating some flammable materials as a means of gaining sustenance. If necessary, any other magic would work, just not as easily.

Yeowang nods to Erufu's question. "I am fine. It was a crude trap. Do you think goblins are behind it?" As we proceed in, she hrmphs at the slime-man, and says, "You are, in fact, squatting in a public sewer. The Explorers have put a bounty on eradicating pests in the sewers, so you may expect more and more adventurers to come through. However," she lets that hang for a moment, "We may be convinced to speak with the city on your behalf. If you don't attack citizens and can manage the rats and such, they may provide this section of sewer to you as freehold, and you would then be left alone, as you wish."

There is a look of horror on the elf's face, at the thing behind it, well the wizard or what was once wizard. Oh goddesses she stares.

"You have lost yourself and you will not drag the world downf or your madness." There's a thought in the back of her mind is this like NEGA UTA? She'll chant a fire spell and let it rip. She's not having none of this, though it's mroe to keep the thing back... Yes Oozes can be a real horror.

To Yeowang's reasonable, well-thought out offer, the Oozemancer takes his chance to monologue, "S-ssso confident are you F-F-Fleshlings in your p-p-place of p-power, lording over the slimes, f-forcing them to eat your excrement, killing----MASSACRING them to use them as ointments... C-C-CONDUCTING EXPERIMENTS on them in F-f-farms! We have slaved away under y-y-your boot for far too long! We will h-h-h-ave LIBERWHY AM I ON FIRE AHHHHHHH!!!!!" It's about that time that the other two just light the Oozemancer up mid-dialogue.

The adventurers have managed to scorch the Oozemancer enough where he has decided to flee through a grate in the floor, making an unpleasant schlorping sound as he makes his escape. He shouts behind him as he makes himself scarce, "I sh-shall h-have my REVENGE, F-FLESHLINGS!!!!"

A cursory glance is enough to find out what he was doing here. All about his desks are the plans for his conquest and eradication of anything that is made of flesh by means of raising an army of oozes from the sewers of Alne. While he was not slain, the Oozemancer's plot has been foiled. At least for a while, the people of Alne may rest, and smell, easy.

Yeowang's negotiation is interrupted, but hearing the creature's rage and its mad plans, there was almost certainly no real chance of any sort of peaceful settlement. She does look over his personal effects, such as they are, and while she finds crazed plans, it is not what she seeks. Apparently he did not live in a cash economy. "I think we are done," she observes.

Dosbox gives a relieved sigh, "Heh. That guy was certainly in a sticky situation. Heh. Heh... Yeah, let's go." DosBox grabs the Oozemancer's diary as proof that he is the cause of the predicament to give to Rebecca, the receptionist, and the party makes their way out of the sewer. "Oh, and everyone, make sure to use Menu Clean a few times once we get back up to the surface."