Duty Session 630: Windmill Menace

So the Ninetails farmers are having issues with some screwball attacking their windmills. Windmills not working means they can't crush grain and pump water wells, which slows foodstuff production, which slows down trade... and well you get the idea. Anything that's slowing the flow of gold into the pockets of the Ninetails' trade barons has them in a tizzy and it's enough to get the Hunter's Guild to start putting out more requests for assistance.

Which brings us to the here and now, where Shiruba has arranged to meet with anyone else interested in investigating the matter.

Schneider has joined the quest, more out of a desire to find things to do than any particular care for the Ninetailers. Or whatever the people of Ninetails are called. He's freshened up his fancy coat and is grinning eagerly at the chance to ... well, find out what's going on, but there's undoubtedly going to be a fight. There's always a fight. Well, usually.

"Hello," he calls out to Shiruba. "Room for one more in the party?"

"We seriously need to stop this whole thing with everyone deciding they hate agriculture. First it was the Undead. Now it's... whatever it is we are fighting today. What have plants done to deserve such animosity anyway?", Uta muses, as she walks into view, holding her staff as she looks into the agricultural expanse in front of her. "I don't think plants have done anything wrong, and whatever grudge these people have, they're barking up the wrong tree- oh, hey, folks!", Uta waves, and hurries her step to reach her fellow Adventurers.

    It's not so much that Fuka's interested in the money put out as an adventure bounty for this mission. Money's fine and all, but this is a low-paying mission. It's about crazy people though, and food, and so Fuka's interested. Besides, Shiruba was asking and Fuka would do worse things for a furry friend. Much, much worse.

    "Wait. Undead are architecture?" Fuka asks, putting on an expression of extreme puzzlement which may be serious or may be just teasing Uta. "Because I kind of do hate them, or at least find them slightly gross, but if you suggest we get along with undead, I'm willing to at least try? Satsu's a decent guy for a necro-somethingsomething."

There is almost always some kind of fight so it's a pleasant sight to see the Scale fire sorceror, everyone's favorite tiny terror with a weapon larger than herself, and Uta to round it out and keep them in one relative piece. "I am most certainly not going to say no to more help. Seems like everyone has spread out to do more of their own thing as of late, I wasn't entirely sure how many folks I'd reach. Shall we be on with i--"

Shiruba is interrupted by the warning kree of her falcon that's been circling overhead. Windburn has spotted monsters approaching! Which appear to be some manner of awkwardly mobile giant onions. A soft sigh and Shiruba readies her bow. "Looks like we don't have to go far to find trouble." They don't look too tough, but they're onions, getting close to them is at your own risk as when they are damaged they release the stuff in unions that makes your eyes water and nose sting.

Schneider gives Shiruba a thumbs-up, but huhs as Fuka confuses him once again. "Undead are ... how?" But that question fades as he looks up, alarmed, as we're swarmed with attacking onions. He turns to Uta and asks, "Are you sure these onions have done nothing wrong? They looks like they're attacking, to me. I don't know how wrong it is, but I'd like not to be killed."

Mind, this is not a hard challenge for an Exploder Wizard, or even a Scale Fire Sorcerer. "GUNZENRO!" he shouts, and flames leap from his hands, engulfing the vegetables, caramelizing them. Well, it would if he had cooking, they mostly just take damage and die, but he has no problem with this.

"Architecture? Who said anything about architecture?", asks Uta, puzzled. "I mentioned agriculture. Buildings don't grow on trees." She frowns and scratches her head. "Wait, no, I'm thinking of money. So it's actually economics that the Undead hate. And since time is money, it follows logically that they also hate chronology."

"I don't know what timekeeping devices have done to garner the Undead's loathing, maybe it's a thing like the Spriggans' betrayal, actually, that makes a lot of sense, what with the Grim Reaper being traditionally depicted with a hourglass, to represent chronology, and a scythe, to represent agriculture. So, there you have it, Fuka. That's why the Undead hate crops."

The party proceeds, and when Shiruba warns them, Uta gets ready to fight. The Fire Mage gets the first turn with his flames, and Uta cheers, "Good going, Schneider! Caramelize them! As for me..." She squints in the vegetables' direction. "I am going to stare at them with my deathly Gaze of the Abys-AUGH AUGH AUGH!" Uta wails, flailing her wings. "Onions interfering with your eyesight! I had not seen this coming"

Her arms make wide movements, as she tries to hold onto some sort of reference -- until she reaches her smol friend.

"Is this..." *headpat* *headpat* "Yes! It's her!"

Uta picks up Fukaziroh, and after lifting her friend over her head, slightly pulled back, she yells, "Your day has come, Onions! For I..."

She hurls the sylph.

"...Cast Fukaziroh!"

    Fuka sagenods at Uta's explanation. It makes no sense, unless you think super deeply at least, but Fuka trusts in Uta's wisdom. She assumes there's a deep sort of sense behind what sounds mostly blathering madness. And if not, she assumes it's fun, so that's all fine!

    No real time to ponder the wisdom of Uta however. Upon hearing and smelling the approach of enemies, Fuka considers options. Frank isn't bigger than Fuka, but only by technicality. It certainly looks bigger than the diminutive sylph, especially when it's in someone's face. But that's something for another time. Fuka's no cook, so she has no interest in dicing onions. She'll fry them instead!

    Chanting runewords of power, of fire, of range and area, she... ends up getting picked up and hurled? A little blinded herself, she hadn't expected it to matter if she just broadened the range of a firestorm style spell. But apparently Uta didn't realize Fuka was casting and use her as a weapon instead!

    Well, dicing it is then. Fuka's spell is ruined, and she's in too close to cast again now. Smashed into onions, battered about and half blind with toxin, Fuka goes back to what she does best. Well, maybe not best, but what comes easy. She flails about her with her greatsword, smacking anything that moves and probably several things that don't. Hopefully none of the rest of the team moves into melee until the little sylph can see again.

Fortunately the onion monsters aren't hard to deal with when you can keep them at a distance. Shiruba does just that with her exceptional archery skills, holding them at bay for Schneider to do his thing with fire magic. And Uta uses Fuka as a projectile. Unorthadox, but it works.

"What are you doing?!" a farmer yells as he grumpily stomps up just as the last onion monster squeaks over. "Those are mine!" Followed by a rant about the onion creatures being used to protect against the lunatic that comes around at sunset to attack the farms. Shiruba quickly tries to apologize, pointing out the Guild didn't mention defensive monsters in the quest, and after a bit of back and forth manages to smooth things over. Not that the farmer isn't still glaring, but he doesn't kick them off the land and fail the duty at least.

Both to make up for the misstep and prepare for an upcoming assault, the farmer and the group start repairing the damage done. The plant creatures that were injured would do well with traditional healing methods such as pharmacy and light, but also respond well to herbology talents in restoring and fortifying their health.

Schneider has just finished frying some onions, and it's starting to smell kind of nice when the farmer come out shouting. Schneider looks confused at what the farmer is shouting about, and it takes a couple tries to make him realize that the attacking vegetables -were- friendly after all.

"They didn't -look- friendly," he complains.

But that doesn't solve the problem, and he's now being told that we'll have to heal the vegetables we can and reinforce the farm to fight off some crackpot. This is the first he's hearing about some crackpot, and now he's demanding details, and not getting much accomplished with helping the farm. But he's trying to understand the situation, having never read Don Quixote.

    Fuka may need some healing herself, after being used as a projectile. Still she's not going to make Uta feel too bad about what happened. It was hilarious and fun, after the moment of shrieking panic interrupting her spellcasting anyways. She does grumble about it, but the big grin on her face probably takes any sting out of the muttering.

    The farmer may not be so lucky. "They attacked us!" she complains. "Wait, they're to fight off a maniac? ARE YOU CALLING US MANIACS?" she blusters, drawing herself up to her full height of somewhere near to five feet. Not that she'd actually be hostile with a lander, or even an adventurer in such a position. She sets in to help heal the plants, calling on regen spells for maximum mana efficiency, knowing the big battle is yet to come.

Uta musters as much of her Negotiation and Etiquette skills as she manages, considering how critical the situation is.

"I am a medical professional qualified to practice on Landers, Adventurers, and yes, Monsters! I have extensive experience as a Monster Veterinarian in both the Quick-Feather Peko Ranch, the Scale Emblem Monster Menagerie, I can provide my qualifications and list of publications, which include the authoritative Encylopedia of Slimes..."

"...Oh, right, the patients!", she slaps her forehead, swipes her menu open, and after flicking through the options, she materializes some of the mushrooms she found together with Curtana, when they explored the Palace Lands.

She crushes them into a potion, which she administers to the monsters.

The mushrooms are a powerful substitute for caffeine, so hopefully, they will be up in no time!

The only issue might be that side effects include enhanced artistic ability and possibly urges, but... having onions suddenly develop an interest in painting in all the colors of the rainbow is not going to be a problem now, right?

...right?

And then she seems to notice Fuka for the first time. "...Uhm... need some of these as well?"

Shiruba just sighs and buries her face in a palm at Fuka. Because honestly? Maniac does suit her. Just not in the way the Lander meant. "Let's just get these guards back on their... roots, I guess." On the bright side they're plant creatures, so they respond well to light. And Light, allowing Shiruba to assist in restoring them to fighting condition. Still, it's good they have an actual healer along as well. Who is also using.. on plant monster... "... Be careful about sharing that stuff..." There's probably farmers who would just love some relief from the chronic aches and pains of their work.

Speaking of work, they have some time before sunset yet, and while the guard critters have been tended to it still shows signs of previous attacks. Maybe they can farther amend some things with the farmers by mending some things.

    Fuka happily accepts the healing provided by Uta. That is to say she cheerfully and thoughtlessly downs magic mushrooms. Absolute trust... combined with a certain hedonistic outlook that sees nothing wrong with interesting experiences!

    Might be a good idea to calibrate the dosage to her size however. While the healing is delightfully effective on the little sylph, she spends the next while attempting to arrange broken fences into a rather aggressively artistic defense. And while her results aren't all that great when it comes to repair, the towering monuments to the art of fencing ought to keep someone from approaching those particular individual spots along the perimeter of the farm, yep!

Schneider may not have been able to help much with healing the vegetables, but he can at least help out around the farm getting stuff set up. And helping Fuka set up the defenses, because that looks ... avant garde, but maybe not as effective as it could be. But with a major exertion of elbow grease and the stamina boosted by his magic cloak, he's able to help set up the fortifications and manhandle all the bits into place. It's a hard workout, but he's an athlete, or was back in RL, he's used to this, right?

*Chop!*

*Chop!*

*Chop*

Uta may not be skilled in construction, but she can surely karate chop pieces of wood into the proper size!

*It doesn't help that she gathers a small crowd of Lander kids curious about her unorthodox approach to woodworking. Noticing this, Uta offers to engange in progressively acrobatic ways to chop boards, and before one knows it, she's doing somersaults in the air and spin-kicking multiple boards thrown at her from multiple direction, over the cheers of an impromptu crowds.

While Fuka happily builds her monuments not far away.

Good thing at least Schneider does some actual assembling.

Alas, Shiruba's skills lie in woodcarving rather than construction. But she does what she can to make some pieces of wood to replace ones that can't be reused. Sometimes an Adventurer just has to push on even if it isn't a thing they're great at. The group does manage, through some combination of persistance and luck, do a reasonable job of repairs. And whatever it is Fuka put together that was suppose to be a fence.

Now it's just a matter of the Windmill itself, which tends to be the errant knight's main target. Yes, all that other damage they fixed up was just collateral. Things must get a bit wild.

The sun is nearing setting, so they only have a short amount of time to work on buffing up the defenses of the Windmill, be it magical physical or otherwise. Shiruba for her part uses her Earth magic to try and shore up the foundation of the structure so it'll be harder to knock over.

All that time spent helping out on the farm, -then- the farmer tells us the maniac is going to be attacking the windmill. "You think we're just some labor force here?" Schneider asks the farmer sourly. He'll make a show of helping fortify the windmill, but what spells does Schneider have for that? Fire and Lightning attacks are most of his repertoire, and while there's a handful of utility magic, nothing like building or reinforcing. So he mostly just stands around going through the motions, watching for this expected attacker, because then he'll be able to help.

    Fortunately as time progresses, Fuka's artistic urges fade, leaving her slightly buzzed and rather confused as to why she'd been building tall fences instead of actually cutting off sections of approach. Well, in her defense, it seemed like a good idea at the time. And the fences are pretty imposing if she does say so herself.

    Oh well, no time to mend more fences. Fuka instead retreats to the windmill itself, busying herself into channeling the ongoing power of the wind into a low-grade power suppressor and fear-inducer. Making sure anyone actually attacking the windmill will suffer horribly while doing so. Fiendish work, but Fuka's inspired. And singing. Fortunately, she's actually pretty good at singing. Unfortunately, she sings a highly suggestive shanty tune.

Uta weaves some complex musical spell herself; she walks around the windmills, chanting; she intones multiple songs, ranging from hymns to ominous chants to J-pop to lullabies, likely weaving layers of defensive, protective, buffing and reactive-debuffing spells into it; helixes of light and color materialize on her staff, and gently pour into the windmill, where, before fading, they temporarily form abstract, yet beautiful, aethereal patterns vaguely reminescent of cross-stitch.

Uta must be under the fumes of her own mushrooms, but hey, if it gets the job done!

From the combined efforts The Windmill is well protected!.... for all it was really necessary. The scoundrel approaches, only for his steed to panic at seeing so many people and bucks the wayward knight off his back. And continue to buck and thrash about... which would explain why more than just the windmill was damaged.

Shiruba is quick to respond though, bounding towards the panic Donkey Oatie (she'll groan at the name later) while summoning her falcon to do the same. Though it's not after the steed, she has Windburn use her speed and aerial maneuverability to swoop in and grab Donkey's reigns, and flick them to the other side for Shiruba to grab. So she can tug on them, both to try and steer him away from trampling anything while trying to calm him down again.

She doesn't give anyone else any orders as she trusts her friends and party members to get in on the action as soon as they figure out what to do.

    Called out of her shanty-singing, Fuka pauses to witness the approach of the Coyote Knight and... okay that was easy. Only the knight's mount goes wild! Well Fuka's not going to stand for that, OR for abusing the beast either! She throws herself in front of the donkey Oatie, arms wide, making herself look big. Well, bigger. Also making sure no one gets a clean shot at the poor beast. And, interposing herself between the donkey and anyone either intending it harm or anything it might harm in return, she begins to work on calming it down, helping Shiruba in her efforts to keep it from doing harm.

Schneider knows how to calm down opponents. Something about them being very calm when they're low on HP. To that end, he chants: "Deep Doomsday. To the spirits of land and air, bound by the pact, fulfill your obligation now." His voice ends in a crescendo as he shouts, "MEGADETH!" Fuka may be in the way, so it's definitely not a clean shot, but she's small, and 'close enough' counts in horseshoes, hand grenades, and most of Schneider's spell list.

Of course allies aren't affected by AoE attacks in PVE, so Fuka's not harmed, but the donkey has had quite a lot of will-to-resist taken out of him by the point blank explosion that hits the ground a few feet to the right of where Fuka is defending the now-stunned Donkey.

"I have no animal skills, but..."

Uta rushes into the battle. If you can't go the subtle route, go ham.

Wait, no, ham is made out of pig. This is a donkey. Wrong meat.

Actually, thinking of it, they probably make ham out of grunties in this world, and-

Uta realizes she's still running, and by now she's about to crash into the donkey; with the swiftness and unpredictability that only last minute panic can give you, she quickly shifts her stance and dives in to suplex the animal.

Just like Syx taught her.

The combined efforts of the group ward Donkey Oatie away from the farm. Dark magic and a suplex are a bit rougher than expected, but Donkey is.. well, a donkey, and they're pretty sturdy animals. It does exhaust him, making it easier for Fuka and Shiruba to finally calm him down.

And look, Don Coyote is back on his feet. Took him long enough to recover from that ungraceful entrance. Dazed, but not enough to fail to realize the Adventurers have reared in his wayward steed rather than fight it. As he approachs he waves, signaling the party to yield and spare his friend further duress. "Today I yield," the knight says in a tone dripping with misplaced righteousness, "for you showed mercy. I am bound by honor to do the same." He points his Rusty Longsword towards the windmill. "But hear me, I shall return to vanquish you on honorable terms!" And before anyone can say anything else he grabs the reigns, slings himself onto his steed once more, and gallops off.

Shiruba is just sort of left there staring as Windburn lands on her shoulder. "What the fluff just happened?..."

But at least the windmill farm is safe for the time being, such that the farmer is in a mucn better mood when he passes out their reward.

"If you want, I can give you a detailed account, Shiruba," Uta offers, pointing her fountain pen towards the hokkaido wolf Cait Sith. "I have a pretty good idea of what just happened, if you allow for the part where I was under the fumes of the interesting mushrooms... to be a bit hazy."

Schneider just sort of boggles as Don Coyote is allowed to withdraw peacefully. "Um," he says, looking to the rest of the party. "So we're just letting him go? I didn't attack because you guys didn't, but letting him go, he's just going to do it again." He gives the farmer an apologetic look. "Can't we like arrest him or something?" he asks, but Don Coyote and Donkey Oatie are gone by now, and he looks about as baffled as Shiruba. "I think we just got ourselves paused by the cutscene," he mumbles.