They Slimed Me

There's been a lot of talk of slimes lately from the Landers. Various wells in various places seem to've been infiltrated by them!

Naturally, it's anew generated quest and Jazz is staring at the slime-covered well with a look of dread on her face.

"It had to be slimes. Of course. It had to be slimes." Truth be told, though she asked for help when the quest popped in the outskirts of Alne's territory, she does not appearq to be looking forward to doing this.

"It's going to be slimy and we don't even have the luxuries of hot showers," she says, a note of mourning in her tone. "Or a washing machine. For laundry." SHe looks down at her clothes. Preemptively mournful. They're going to get slimed.

    "Awwww, don't worry about it! You can hit up a water dungeon after you're done with this one!" Ever the optimist, Yuuki grins at Jazz.

    The Imp has volunteered to come along. Because she missed out on the floor boss fight when she lost track of time during an adventure. And now she wants something to kill to make up for missing out. Yuuki looks at the offending well, "I wonder what kinds of slimes are down there... Water slimes? Fire slimes? Blood slimes? Slime slimes!?" So many slimes.

    "Oh! Maybe I should have a slime bingo card drawn up. Kill a slime of each type in a row and you win a prize!"

    Smiles when she pops up next to Jaz "Hey." she says, she's just an albino girl and not a terrifing bunbun monster. "Don't worry, just use your clean button it's not so bad... except for the poopmonster... he was pretty aweful... hopefuly he didn't spawn in this group." she says "And we'll go and take hot baths after we use the clean button and it'll be good." she says with a laugh. "And I want something that's been cooked without the menu... so I'm gona get SOMETHING hot to eat tonight I don't care what it is..." she says with a sigh. "Even if I just heat an apple up or something." she pouts "I want omelette rice." she looks a bit the worse for wear... but then she did spend over a half hour crying after nearly getting killed by boss monsters... it isn't really kind to your appearnce.

    Mizuki matches Jazz's look of dread. She assumes they're both thinking the same thing until Jazz speaks. "/That's/ what you're worried about?!"

    Sam has read... let us say, mangas that started out like this. He does not want a starring role.

    Fortunately, the game said it was PG-13 on the box; Mizuki can only hope it has stayed that way. And that's enough about that.

    The catgirl ninja looks at Yuuki. "If it's like the culvert, that was full of porings and giant flies, if I remember correctly. Maybe poporings, too."

    And then Wis speaks up about a poop monster. "Are you serious?! What is this, Conker's Bad Fur Day?!" Man, she hopes not.

"You know what, I'll let you one of you go down first. I' was never any good at climbing thje rope in gym class." She looks down at her arms.

They're pretty skinny, but then, she is pretty small.

Once people are down the rope -- as slimy and gross as it is towards the bottom from rawndom contact with teh horrible critters, they find themselves in what amounts to Alne's sewer system. They are immediately surrounded first by the sounds of 'bloop' and then by Slimes battening themselves on the cracker-tasting food that's been thrown away on account of adventurers not wanting to eat it.

Becasue it's horrible.

The slimes, at least, don't have any such compunction and stuffing their... well ... they don't have /faces/, but they are absorbing it.

"... oh *come on*," groans Jazz.

    Wisteria slides down the rope and upon noticing the area and slimes involved nods. "These guys aren't agro just hungry, we can just skip by them but be careful they will slime you and it's cold gross and sticky." she says and with that she just dances from air rune to air rune keeping above 'oozing' range.

    "OKAY!" Yuuki has no hesitation in jumping into this quest.

    Literally, as she forgoes the use of the rope just vaults the well wall to fall down the well. Her joyous cry echoes up, before there's some light thuds.

    Yuuki's voice can then be heard, "C'mon down guys, it's great!"

    She's lying. It's a sewer. Yuuki grins at the others, before continue onwards. She whistles, "I didn't know that Alne had such an extensive sewer system. I wonder if it runs under the entire town. The tower too?"

    Soon enough they come to their first encounter, Yuuki letting out a 'D'awwwwww' at the cute looking slimes. Their taste in food aside. But then the Imp draws her sword and dashes forward, apparently having no issue with chopping up their jelly-like bodies into little bits.

    "Neither was I" Mizuki replies to Jazz, "but with this body I'd have aced gym." Down the rope she goes! And... yup, it's a horde of poporings. This is familiar territory; it's just like a scene from Ragnarok Online brought to life. This is what Mizuki expected. She takes a few seconds to fondly remember her first MMORPG. Then, with a smile on her face, walks ahead, stabbing and popping any poporings that get in her way. "They're just pallete-swapped porings. This is easy, so far."

"...yeah...."

Jazz kicks some of the food towards the slimes, helping to keep a path clear through the mass of them. "Let's try to save our strength. There's probably way bigger slimes up ahead."

There's a pause. A sigh from the Undine.

"Probably," she adds, glancing towards Yuuki. She seems to be having the time of her life, after all, and even seems to find them cute. Jazz stres at her for a long moment as she chops her way through them.

The Undine just kicks some of the fresher pieces of food down the way towards others, leaving them to their feast and out of her way. Soon, the 'adventurers' are on their way deeper into sewers.

Her tentacle-tips twitch when she startse to hear the 'boing' sounds belonging to the hunter slimes in the distance further down the way.

"...what's that?" she asks. She's stepping back instinctively, but it's clear she doesn't have the experience to know what's coming. Hunter Slimes, of course, being a slightly different and more aggressive class of the beasts. Soon, they appear, make-shift, oozey faces scanning for the Most Delicious Meat Of All to Hunters: Adventurer.

    Yuuki perks up as someone asks 'What's that?' The Imp peers ahead in the dark conditions of the sewer, spotting the patrolling slimes ahead.

    Yuuki says somewhat more quietly, "Ahhh, the ever watchful Hunter Slimes. Legend says they used to be regular slimes, until they first tasted Adventurer flesh. That changed them forever and now they hone their stealth skills to catch Adventurers unaware while they're going to the toilet." Yeah. She's clearly joking... Hopefully.

    Yuuki sticks to the shadows, using her Sneaking skill to keep her presence reduced as she keenly watches the slime patrols and darts through the openings.

    Wisteria smiles, she's not much for stealth, not really her style or her strength. Instead she draws her sword. Then she's slashing, sending lines of fire to one side of the hunter slimes, driving them away from where Yuuki is sneaking. She works to try and corral and move the slimes around using fire.

    "You didn't?" Mizuki looks at Yuuki. "Haven't you done the rat duty? There's a giant maze of tunnels down here, when the adventure calls for it."

    The cat ninja looks like she suspects Yuuki is joking. She experimentally breathes fire on some of the hunter slimes, which seems to do the trick. "They're just raccoon-colored porings, aren't they? Why are they called hunter slimes?"

Cuttingh through the slimes, or breathing fire on them, isn't terribly difficult, it would appear. Though their hope might ... spring eternal (poing!) several of them are reduced to polygons in short order by the combined efforts of the adventurers. Jazz, herself, isn't terribly helpful. Mostly, water magic against slimes isn't that great, usually, and she is a sea-witch.

...but she tries something new that doesn't go quite according to plan. She lashes out with a stream of blisteringly hot, steaming water that just ... hits the wall instead with a sploosh. Very useful, Jazz. Very useful.

"...works for the mantis shrimp," she mutters under her breath.

Pushing on, her nose wrinkles towards as they find the edge of a cistern. Then she looks down in it.

"Are... are those slimes wearing hats?"

Yes, yes they are. Tiny, adorable hats. Wizard's hats. Caster caps. Whateve you want to call them. And it would appear that, through their combined power, they are activating the runes all along the walls on the chamber to *blast the adventurers*.

As they glow, Jazz just sort of looks at them.

"... this is a joke, right?" It's not.

She sighs.

    "Nonono. See. Those are underground tunnels. This is an underground sewer. Two completely different tilesets. Though I wouldn't be surprised if they connect somewhere. Though it is probably with a locked door that no one has the key to, can't be lockpicked and is probably an Immortal Object."

    Yuuki walks along, tail swaying around behind her happily, wings bouncing up and down with each step. But she suddenly stops, "Hey! Listen! Is that rushing water?"

    Yuuki rounds the corner to find the large open central chamber. She lets out another 'D'awwwww' this time adding on, "They have cute little wizard hats! Seriously. I hope Uta really does create a zoo for these little guys!"

    The rising hum of the runes along the wall doesn't go unnoticed by Yuuki and suddenly she's off in a flash! She runs towards the edge of the platform and then. Just. Keeps. Running.

    Across the water.

    It's actually a nifty water-based movement spell. Which allows Yuuki to close into range against the Sorcerer Slimes and slice and dice them with her superior physical prowess.

    Wisteria laughs "OOoh they're adorable!" she says and then she notes the runes along the walls. "Ooo ooh, this is... I've seen these kinds of puzzles." she grins. The albino girl drops down "Cover me!" she says brightly as she starts pushing stones that have runes on them. Working to light a pattern that will if she's right either trap or push out the slimes, one of the two she isn't TOTALY sure.

    And now: Caster slimes. "This dungeon is pleasantly cute so far! ...Uta's making a slime zoo?" She helps Wis with the puzzle, to turn the runes against the slimes!

For her part, Jazz takes a moment to command the waters of the sewer system to wash away a great many of the tiny slimes, who makes adorable peeps and cries of 'nuuu!' as they get washed away as the enchanted runs are turned against them, blasting a great many into polygons thanks to the combiend efforts of Mizuki and Wisteria, to say nothing of Yuuki's astounding offensive capabiilities.

Thus, they are left to move on! Jazzz seems relieved. It can't be far to get through this now, right? She brings up the rear, letting the others lead, as they come into a part of the sewer that is more ... of what one woiuld expected of one. Foul waters, foul smells, foul eveerything.

"...augh!"

JAzz is covering her nose. It might be having more of an impact on her given her race's association with, you know, water.

"Hrk," she says.

That's when they come in to another open chamber, what this being an MMO dungeon and everything, and find themselvesmore or less face to face with a massive ooze monster. It opens its maws and spits a torrent of horrible filth right at them, gooey tendrils lashing out to try to grab them.

"FUCK THIS," yells Jazz.

    Wisteria covers her mouth and nose with a hand "Warned you... hoped we wouldn't run into him." she says and starts trying to draw air runes and speak her way through an enchantment to make the fight easier by clearing the air, but she just keeps gagging at the wrong way.

    Yuuki looks impressed that Wisteria and Mizuki managed to turn the Merlin Slimes own spell against them, "Good job, guys! I'm terrible with magic stuff."

    After they've dealt with the Wizard Slimes, Yuuki replies to Mizuki, "Oh yeah. We were talking about it yesterday. She seemed to really like the idea! I did too. I would do it myself, but I'm not so good at handling monsters. Killing them, sure."

    Yuuki can smell the next encounter long before she gets to it, "Ewwwwwuck!" She moves a hand to hold her nose closed as she enters into the next chamber. Spotting the trash slime, Yuuki winces, saying with a slightly nasally tone, "Maybe skip this one in the zoo..."

    But as the slime spits out a torrent of filth at them, Yuuki quickly sweeps her sword out. A rush of wind swirls up around it and Yuuki slices through that torret. The windy blade splits it in half, diverting the filthy water head towards Yuuki to either side of her.

    Unfortunately, her allies may or may not be in the new path of that water.

    Wanting to get this fight over with as quickly as possible, Yuuki runs in towards the filth slime, chopping at it with her windy sword. All the while holding her nose closed with her free hand.

    You think this smells bad to YOU, Jazz? Try being a were fang! Mizuki actually switches to human form for this; fortunately, she's equipped the high, waterproof boots from the pirate set. It still stinks, but it's a bit less... overwhelming with a human nose.

    She nods at Yuuki's assessment that this one is not zoo-worthy. "Oh, is this the poop slime? It's not as bad as I imagined, actually... and if it sits in one place and uses tentacles to attack us..." she reasons as she frantically dodges those arms with air magic midair jumps,

    She makes a series of ninja hand signs as she jumps about! "Swirling bolts gather and strike with power! JUPITEL THUNDER!" The spell creates a ball of lightning at the target position that repeatedly zaps anything touching it for a few seconds. Ideal for a stationary water monster!

AS the other dive into the fight, Jazz stares for a moment before raising her hands and spending some time gathering water together into sphere, purifying it enough as it begins to freesze in her grasp. It takes a little time, but she's soon able to hurl an orb of pure ice directly into it's maw, briefly stunning it while Yuuki, Mizuki, and WIsteria promptly chop it to bits.

The battle is not exactly lopsided, though. The horreible slime monster had many arms, and spewed horrible filth at all of them. They're rpobably at least a *little* battered.

And stinky.

Especially Jazz, who hot hurked right on it and is standing there, covered in horrible goo, with a forlorn expression on her face.

"F. M. L."

... a little later.

Jazz has clambered out of the well and sort of half rolls-half flood into the ground outside it.

"We are never ever talking about this," she says. Her rather twee voice just results in her sounding not even close to as horrified as she feels.

    Wisteria shakes her head "Just use the clean button for now... and I warned you." she says "I said, we ran into a poo monster." she says, despite any agreement or non agreement to avoiding the subject.

    Yuuki clambers out of the well, pretty well drenched in goo at this point. And she's laughing, "Are you kidding? That was AWESOME! It was all, 'Rar! Splash' and we were like, 'Ewwwww!'." Yuuki looks at the horrified Jazz, "What? Too soon?"

    Realizing they are getting looks though, Yuuki chuckles, "Guess we should clean up. The clean button might work, but I feel like jumping into the lake instead. I'll catch you all later!" Wait! Yuuki! Have you noticed the TEMPERATURE!? Nope. That doesn't stop her.

    They got slimed... -_- But they were victorious! "We'll get water from spells if we have to." Mizuki adds, nodding with Wis's suggestion to use the menu cleaning function. She feels extremely icky.

    "The lake is COLD!" Mizuki warns from experience, but Yuuki's already zooming off...

Jazz is already snatching for the menu clean. She is about to say something to Yuuki but then she is just ... gone.

"... so long?"

    Wisteria has pushed the clean button and is holding waiting for the timer to finish. Then she sighs "Ahh well that's better." she says "Food?" she asks "And a trip to go to the baths again!" she says

    "Can we ever, truly, be clean after that experience." Mizuki says dryly, which is ironic as she's also found some water to activate the wash function with. "Food's good. The hot springs are a long trip away... we might have to resort to heating up a barrel or a washbasin or something..."

Jazz is still using the clean function. Over and over and over. Quiet. Over and over. At least she smells better.

    Wisteria sighs "Look, you two act like you've never been dirty." she teases. She is a jock after all and has spent far too much time sweating and wearing armor that you can never really get 'clean' just 'not dirty'.

    "It's not that. It was all... clingy." Mizuki tries to explain, vaguely. Also, certain mangas and videos have been RUINED FOREVER even if she gets out of here.

"....yuuuuuuck. Trust me, I am not loving this." She groans. Jazz picks herself up and brushes herself off. She gives a little bow to Wisteria, though. "Think I'm gonna go find a some quiet room I can sit in and never think about this ever again."

    Wisteria sighs and bows "Go on, I still say hot baths are the way to get over it." she says and stretches. "I still want omelette rice." she pouts

    Mizuki pats Jazz's shoulder and nods. Then turns back to Wis. "So what is that anyway, is it an omelette with rice in it like it sounds? Maybe if you can find a cook and explain the recipe, they'll make it just to try something new."