Duty Session 105: Escort Quest: Artificial Stupidity

    Wisteria is smiling as she gathers up Vertina "Saw a post someone needs an escort almost sure to be monsters and getting lost and other terrible things lets go have fun." she says brightly. She puts out a call or adventurers who are willing to do an escort... she really isn't enough of a gamer to know how these things go other than the one time she ran a convoy with her smol friend.

Vertina follows Wisteria, though with a brow raised. "Interesting that sort of quest would show up out here as well. But I can't argue the logic, the desert is a pretty harsh place. Even finding an oasis isn't entirely safe."

    Merek makes a way to the place where the quest will be, while he takes the time to place on the white-black attire which he wears. Then he nods a bit to the party, "Alright, looks like we'll be escorting ya?" he notes.

Another day, another escort quest. Prophylaxis is present as well, having taken an interest in evaluating the behavior of the so-called 'NPCs' to try and determine whether or not they can truly be called 'sapient.' But also because quest rewards are useful for a variety of reasons. But... "Did it have to be somewhere so hot?" Prophylaxis sighs, shielding his eyes from the blazing glow of the sun. "There's a reason I didn't start out in Westlande...!"

    Well, with all the stuff going on it was probably almost time for Giganpor to move to his next assignment in his training smithing duties. Supposedly, it was across from an escort quest's destination, or so he had heard!

    That had lead him to seeking out said escort quest, and looking for others to join in on it. Once he makes his way over, he smiles and gives a wave. "Anyone recruiting for this?"

    Giganpor is noticeably in his armor, and carrying instead of a usual sword or hammer a nice big axe on a stick. That's the best way to describe it. Or at least a pretty big great axe. Take your pick.

    "I'm not entirely sure I'd describe escort duty as 'fun' but hopefully we'll learn something about the world regardless." Mizuki chimes in. For now she's wearing the desert outfit, which is a lot like a slightly looser, white version of her ninja outfit but with a seperate hood to cover her head and face, and with footwraps for her were fang feet. To Prophy, she responds, "Maybe we'll do most of our actual traveling around dawn and dusk when it won't be as hot?"

    She looks at those assembled, hugging Wisteria. "So how have all you guys been, anyway?"

Another convoy oh boy here we go again, Miho had fallen in with this group and it seems to be pretty good. She also spies Giganpor, who would get quite the look.

"I have been looking for you, Giganpor."

She grins for a moment more as she seems to be getting her own gear ready. The smith is clad in battle gear looking like she walked out of some warring states era anime. "So here we go again on another convoy."

    Wisteria is in human form, the tall albino girl in her usual kimono and hakama but with a big paper parosol. She huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugs Mizuki "Hey Mizukichi it was fun last time." she says brightly. Probably only Wist would consider getting lost in the middle of no where, filling out maps, and monster attacks to be 'fun'. "We're here to keep you safe sir, that's what we do we adventure, it's in the title." she grins at the man, and since she isn't shifted it's actually reasuring rather than terrifying. "Everybody ready?" she asks brightly.

Vertina laughs a little as Prophy complains about the heat, and gives him a light bop on the shoulder with her knuckles. "Be glad it's only Spring!" Not that she's bothered by some desert heat or nocturnal cold, this is the natural range for Salamanders. "I've kept busy, Mizu. Watched some of the tournament fights even after I was eliminated." She had to cheer for Wisteria and Wynfied after all. "I need to work out better defenses against Wave Arte users. But there's few ways better for general training than do some Duty work!" She's already pumped up to go, as usual.

    Merek nods a bit to Wisteria, while seeming to think about it. He would take a moment to draw the hood of his attire about, "I am," he notes then to the woman, while he watches the party and nods to Vertina, and Prophylaxis. "I am a healer if anyone needs."

    Giganpor blinks, then looks down at Miho. "Hm? Oh... huh. Thought you'd be taller with the smithing thing." He blinks a few times, then shrugs, "But yes, looks like you finally caught up to me. Not that I'll be around long. The Tradesmen's next smith I'm supposed to be with is supposedly near the end of this escort quest."

    He looks over at Wisteria at the question of being ready and smiles, "Sure. Not a lot to it. And it's on the way, after all."

    Wisteria walks along with the Lander's guidance, taking his instruction on which roads to take since it's an escort not an exploration mission. She gives him the 'look' when he says they're lost. "What did I say Vertian Mizukichi? Lost." she sounds WAY to happy about it and pulls out... is that yup she appears to have a cartographers level and a telescope.

    At one point Mizuki asks, "...If there's a shrine this way, shouldn't there be a marked path or something?"

    Sure enough, later they're lost. Mizuki sighs, even though she can see Wisteria is happy to do cartography, like Jazz, and doesn't protest. She turns around. "I'll be back." and then uses an earth Wave Arte to make a sort of stone sled just beg enough to stand on, which rides back the way they came. She'll just have to use her enhanced were fang senses to try and pick up the trail's scent at the last couple of landmarks...

Vertina just rolls her head back with a sigh as they've been lead down the road less traveled, away from the usual trade routes between the city and port. "Here we go again..." Unfortunately this seems to be a area of the region she's not familiar with. Or that spawns only for the Duty. Either way, she can do little more than barely gauge where they are, much less the way they came. At least other people in the party were prepared for this.

    Giganpor, meanwhile, begins to search for the path. He's taller, and can obviously do searching for roads/paths there. Which he starts to look for.

    The giant of a red-head turns back, "Hey, don't go too far! We don't have mini maps or something, you know!"

    Meanwhile, he begins to look for a path, road, or the like to indicate where they are. At least a tree or something.

"It's awful that it's so hot and it's still only just springtime," Prophylaxis groans. At least he has a nice hat to keep the sun out of his eyes, but...

"A few days ago I was freezing my butt off in the middle of a blizzard, and now I'm cooking under the desert sun! Why can't adventures happen in a nice temperate forest or a bamboo grove, or on a mountain covered in cherry blossoms or something...?" And now they're lost! Prophylaxis gives their would-be guide a withering look and breathes a long, sun-parched sigh.

"Hold on a sec," he says, pressing his hands into the burning sands. It looks as though he's having a moment of heat-dizziness, but then the earth begins to rumble and a pillar of stone abruptly shoots out of the ground. The sun casts a long shadow from it. Prophylaxis stands inside it, then gestures vaguely in the direction that the shadow is pointing. "That way's west. That means north, east and west should be easy enough to figure out. From that we should probably know which way we aught to be heading, right?

Miho looks at Wisteria for a moment and grins at her.

"You look good in that!"

She looks to their client and smiles.

"Don't worry we have experience in doing things like this before, at least I have." 5R
She honest and she looks ready as she gets ready to head out. Her tail is swaying as she goes, she seems pretty happy. She looks at Giganpor.

"Judge me not by my size. I have a job offer for you, which we need to talk about later it might help you get some more notice aside from paying well."

Tail swishing as she goes.

It takes time as they move on but Miho just has no experience with pathfinding on her own, she has some idea about the basics, but she never really got tossed out in the woods before she ended up in this world.

"All right you seem to have a better idea than I do, I need a damn compass is what I need."

    Merek looks around a bit while they make their way in the quest, nodding a bit. "I think that way would prove to be where we want to travel," he notes along with the party when they assist as well.

    Wisteria get's distracted drawing a map of the area and forgets completely that she's suppose to be locating a specific point... but hey it's a very pretty map of the middle of no where by the time the others have figured out the way to travel.

    Wisteria looks around as they reach a forest in the foothills of the desert mountains. Who expects that? No one it's like the Spanish Inquisition. "OOh hey see Monsters! Told you!" again she's WAY too happy about monsters. "Lets see if we can't get past them without them eating anyone." she says licking her lips and folding her parosol she won't need that in this forest it seems.

Vertina glances over at Giganpor and Miho. "So are you guys armorsmiths or weaponsmiths?" she asks out of her own idle curiousity.

Eventually others manage to find their way back on track and... a forest? "There's very few forests out here..." At least now she's got a general idea where they are again. For all the good it does. It doesn't take a genius to spot the indicator of monsters lurking about. She clenches her fists, ready to fight as usual. Until it's pointed out they should avoid them with the escortee being... well... an escortee. "Uuuuugh. Why are there monsters when I don't get to punch them? Not fair."

She skulks behind Wisteria, being what counts for her as quiet. But still not necessarily sneaky. She's a monk, not a ninja!

    Merek looks to the Lander while he's milling about, then he tries to cover him with a little bit of dark magic to hide him. It does not assist well, all the same he is making a way along, if they need to fight.

    Giganpor looks over at Vertina, "Something like that."

    He looks back out, frowning at the monster indicators. "Right... well... guess I can make this harder for them."

    Then he brings the axe up and swings it around, a clear summoning-like circle dropping down over him as he shifts into Were-Fang form. He doesn't get larger, but does get bulkier. And grows a mane, not to mention feline features.

    Planting the butt of the axe handle in the ground, he takes a breath, then lets out a very, very lion-like roar. A challenging one at that. King of the Jungle one. Seriously, who wants to mess with something that can roar like that?

    It's definitely meant to scare off predators, though, which is what he's aiming at as he looks at the others afterwards, "Stick close, please. I don't know if that scared them all off." He picks up the axe in hand, moving along and making sure to stick by the Lander in case of monster attack.

Getting lost in the middle of a desert is about as dangerous of a scenario as Prophylaxis can even imagine. He's getting *extremely* concerned about how quickly thirst can accumulate in a situation like this; he hasn't quite figured out what happens if you *don't* treat the associated debuff before too long, but it's definitely not something that he wants to learn about in the field.

He's quite a bit more relaxed by the time the party navigates out of the desert and into the nearby woods. "Wow, you'd think the game heard me complaining or something--"

There are monster tracks, apparently. He wouldn't know. He's a wizard, damnit, not a tracker. Giganpor roars like some kind of lion-man who is definitely not destined to die in an emotional moment that triggers the start of an apocalyptic depression in a young waif who had grown close to him. Prophylaxis shrugs and...

Casts a certain spell that fills the gaps between the trees in translucent, purple brambles. "There. At least we'll have some forewarning in case they've still got any ideas about attacking. I hope."

    "There's a /forest/ in the desert?!" Mizuki is surprised to see this. She doesn't remember the maps she glanced at before the apocalypse that well.

    Sharp feline eyes spot the signs of monster activity. "Hey uh... maybe you should slow down a little?" she urges the lander, then her tail goes all bushy as the escortee loudly crashes to the ground. She holds a finger up in front of her muzzle, "Sssh!" She goes one further than the other were fangs, opting to just PICK UP the lander in a princess carry and stealthily move through the woods in the middle of the group.

Well they end up somewhere spooky somewhere creepy Miaho seems slightly boerhed about this she keeps an eey on their charge. She's actuyally being pretty quiet.

"I don't like the look of this either." She'll make ready to inerpose herself between the lander an any harm that might come their way or at least that's her plan.

    Merek lifts up a bow while he fires a full arrow above to provide a bit of light while the party would walk forward along the path. He nods a bit while he thinks about it, "Well, this is all interesting."

    Wisteria shifts forms herself, the tall albino girl becoming a tall albino bun, complete with little button horn and long ears, she's just adorable. She takes up the rear of the party and most of the way through the monster infested portion of the forest notes that they're being followed, the fluffy white samurai turns and screams. It's a godawful racket, wrenching at the mind and nerves. The battle cry of the Caerbannog.... and anything that was willing to mess with a large feline, turns tail because what wants to mess with all the teeth and pure hate that is a caerbannnog?

    When the come upon the cave she smiles "Oooh Spelunking!" she doesn't even care this makes no damn sense for a pilgrimage to a temple. Caves are COOL.

The transition into the forest was welcome. The sudden trek through a cave system? That's just concerning. "Why is there a cave?" Prophylaxis asks the mysterious rock formation. There's something about it that makes him think that it might just be able to give him an answer... but it never does, because it can't. It's not magical, it's just a bunch of rocks that happen to look really weird. "Is the shrine *in* this cave? Is it through here? Someone should really build a proper road or something--"

There's a beat as the doctor seems to realize... something.

"...Are we /sure/ we're not just... still lost?"

".. Should of thought of that," Vertina murmurs when Mizuki just picks the escort up and forces her to be less obtrusive. Not that anyone could hear much over the racket Giganpor and Wisteria are making. With her long stride she has little difficulty catching up with the tiger girl as the trail through the forest leads to a cave. "Now this is less of a surprise." They fought a giant worm and a crazy sorcery woman in caves under the desert after all. "There's a lot of caves and tunnels under the desert."

The Salamander clenches her fists, igniting something of a fiery aura around them. Holds one up like a torche above her head. "This is handy, but we probably shouldn't linger. Monsters might get the same idea of taking shelter down here."

    Mizuki doesn't even notice the cave is dark at first. The lander saying such is, in fact, her only clue as to why he's just walked into a rock. She sighs, a bit annoyed with this NPC even if the problem is one her fellow adventurers would have trouble with just as much.

    She puts a hand on the Lander's shoulder to guide him and starts slowly breathing out a tiny puff of flame to provide enough light to see his immediate surroundings by, stopping him when she has to stop and breathe in.

    Eventually they reach so far in the cave that even she can't see without light. "If people have been to the shrine before, why didn't you bring a torch...?

    Giganpor sighs as he stays in his were fang form, then raises his hand to call out, "Auris, come forth. Fairy Healing."

    At Giganpor's command, a summoning circle appears that sounds out a bird made of light. The bird flies over, healing the Lander and anyone else it needs to before shedding light as it stays circling above everyone's heads.

    Giganpor scratches the mane on his head, then looks at the Lander. "You're lost, aren't you?" The giant lion-man looks annoyed at that.

Miho has ended up in a cave now, things are going pretty well for once.

"Humm light? I can do that. Forge hammer spark!"

She'll generate a flame somehow as she triggers one of her abilies and it hovers there which it will at least give them some decent amount of light as it hovers at her shoulder.

"We should be all right and spelunking you think we'd not do some at some point my friend?"

She laughs it's clearly she's actually enjoying this whole trip.

    The lander looks embarassed "I... didn't know it would get so dark." he says weakly and doesn't address if there was suppose to be an underground route at all. Wisteria sighs and picks up a few crystals and with a bit of work with her fingers and a small engraving tool then a pinch of powder they light up like bright flashlights. She puts them into tubes she carries for keeping maps in and hands them to anyone without a lightsource including the lander. "Flashlights." she says with a chuckle "Figured these out by accident." she says with a little shrug at her enchanting work.

    After the cave lets out into the oasis hills with short scrubgrass at least they're on an established path heading to the water. However When the Lander sits down and starts griping about food she rolls her eyes and shifts back into her human form opening up her parasol. This is the first time she doesn't seem excited about something but this is just... anoying.

Vertina came prepared for dealing with thirst. And injuries.... Hunger is another matter. "This is why you're suppose to eat before a quest chain..." she mutters under her breath. No wonder people find Escort Missions so annoying. "Maybe Mizukichi should just carry her again." Oh dear, now Wisteria has her using that cutesy name too.

All the same she wanders over to the available water and stares at it for a few moments with one hand drawn back. Bears do it like this all the time, how hard can it be? Something swims by, and she thrusts her hand in!

... Having overlooked that her hands are still alite with flames from the cave. *FFFFFSSSSSSH* "SUNNOVA--!" Vertina stumbles back and falls on her butt after getting a face full of instant steam.

    Shaking his head, Giganpor starts to look around, slowly moving to hunt.

    Just one problem. He's in armor. Slightly noisy armor. He starts to look around slowly, but eventually manages to just scare some birds, a few cluckcluck, and one wild boar away rather than kill anything.

"Please don't make Mizucchini carry him. He's like, at least 1.5 times her size." But seriously though, he should have eaten way earlier. Although, they /have/ been travelling for a while...

Prophylaxis frowns and produces... a handful of trail mix produced by some enterprising craftsmen back in town. "It's not much and kind of tastes like cardboard," he says with a shrug, "But it'll at least buy some time."

But...!

Why is there now a *plain* around them? They were in a desert! Then a forest!! Then a cave!!! Does 'distance' and 'geography' hold no meaning in this twisted game!?

    Mizuki ooohs with interest at the magic flashlights. "You just need a parabolic mirror like a real flashlight, and these would be really good!" And then her ears flatten when Vertina picks up the nickname. /It's spreading/.

    And then Prophy corrupts it and she stops and turns and points at him. "No. Too far! I am not a vegetable!" She's not actually mad yet, but this needs to stop before it actually gets intolerable.

    And then it's time to rest for food. "You didn't bring anything?" She offers him some flavorless rations, but apparently those won't do. Nearly everyone else opts to try fishing in the oasis; Mizuki also would prefer fish, but until Gwen invents swimsuits water means either wet clothes or nudity and even if you can't really see anything with her fur that just turns out awkward for everyone involved; so she heads out into the desert to hunt, chasing some rabbits and lizards and such but unable to catch them and finally returning empty handed. "Sorry. We'll just have to move on..."

Things just get a bit on the bad part, she will take a moment trying to fin her way ahead she does have a fishing rod. However she can only catch the most basic fish and she end up with no luck as she's fishing fo a while. What's worse all her bait gets stolen by the local fish this is just ends up with no food at all.

    Merek would work on fishing with that party, although he doesn't manage finding anything. He then would follow along to assist in shielding them with magic while they try to solve the harpies! The man 'lalalalala' while he watches!

    Giganpor unfortunately wasn't really equipped to deal with harpies. Even his summons didn't have that sort of range! And none of them sang! So... yeah. He's now pretty unsure what to do.

    So he raises his voice and tries roaring at them, only to stop a bit as he coughs... hacks... and up comes what looks like a hairball.

    That has him staring, then looking at the others, "I got no clue where that came from. Seriously."

    As everyone runs off to find something, or digs out menu food, Wisteria stalks down to the oasis. She stabs a burning katana frustratedly in the water and comes back up the hill with a somewhat burnt, but edibly cooked eel on the blade. She shakes it off into the lander's lap. "Eat, let's get going." she growls at the least prepaired pilgrim since the first crusade.

    The tall albino girl stalks along the path until they see the temple with it's harpy infestation and the remains of apparent bardic attempts to deal with them. "Well crap..." she says sighing. "Anyone bring a slide wistle or something?"

There's a lot of junk musical tools lying around, but Vertina isn't versed in the right cleverness to make use of any of them. "Sorry Wis. There's only one instrument I know how to play..."

Forgoing any of the trickering the Salamander just rushes in with fists swinging. "PERCUSSION!"

It doesn't matter if its ineffective against the bird-women, she needs to vent from how annoying and obnoxious this quest chain has been!

"Hm, apologies, I suppose I'll just stick to Mewzuki?" The nicknames... are multiplying...!?

There are harpies in the sky and a hungry Lander on the ground. At least they've finally reached the shrine in one piece, but...

If the Lander is going to be able to perform their rituals in peace, these creatures are going to have to go. And if he can perform a CULINARY MIRACLE, then even better...!

"It's time for some FRIED CHICKEN," Prophylaxis declares as he opens a hand into the sky. "Come forth on incendiary winds! By my command, rise like the morning sun, o' incarnation of destruction! FIREBALL!" The incantation was not necessary. At the Magus' command, a sphere of roiling, screaming heat ignites in the sky, aimed perfectly to set the lot of the winged rats alight!

There's only one problem with Prophylaxis' plan.

He doesn't have the Cooking skill...!

    "I guess we need to use music? Slide whistle? Please. Why slide whistle, when you can..." she turns to the harpies and belts out, "SIIIIIIIIING!" She walks by the broken instrument pile, picking up a broken harp and strumming it, more like percussion than a melodic instrument given its state.

    "Oh when you happen," *strum* "upon a harpy, don't despair." *strum strum*

    "Just remember," *strum* "this song and I'm with you there!" *strum strum*

    "They can't do anything to ya, if you sing a little tune-a," and then, seeing which way her companions are going about this, slides into a death metal shout while strumming the broken instrument wildly while smoke and fire pour from her mouth, "and MAKE THE SMELL OF CHICKEN FILL THE AIIIIIIR!"

    She turns around and FLINGS the piece of junk at a harpy, following it up with fire blasts!

Miho will make for the shrine, she looks to be ready for almost anything but this. Harpies, why are they here and not on what was the European servers. Well shes' going to try to sing the first song that comes to mind is a song from her childhood and one from her parents too.

"The castle of black metal is rising in the sky, It's super robot Mazinger Z, Its invincible power is protecting us, Justice in my heart, pilder on, Flying high iron fist! Rocket Punch!, It is now, got it now, Breast Fire!, Magin go Mazin go Mazinger Z!"

She keeps going though her pitch is a bit off for this she does not stop.

"The castle of black metal is breaking the mountain, It's super robot Mazinger Z, The anger of justice is for everyone, Praying for the peace, pilder on,Shoot it, hit it! Missile Punch! It is now, got it now, Rust Hurricane!, Magin go Mazin go, Mazinger Z!"

It doesn't work so well for distracting the harpies...

    Smiling at Mizukichi Wisteria laughs and adds to the 'light' show. She starts with a flurry of sword slashes sending sparks of black light around Mizuki making it a real death metal show. Or at least a Rammstein concert. Once all of the harpies are killed or driven off she sheaths her katana.

    "Oh, phew." The Lander gives a sigh of relief as they walk forward. Out of one of their pockets, they pull out a carved war horn, laying it before the statue and bowing their head. "Please, goddess. These brave souls deserve a token of your blessing. Gift them with your courage."

    Wistera smiles again opening her parasol and putting it on her shoulder. "Hey at least most of the trip was fun... and we weren't lost after all." she says with a laugh, giving Mizuki a hug from behind. "Good work on startling them into the air Mizukichi."

"What a bunch of bird brains." Vertina snorts. "You better run!.. Fly... whatever!" The Salamander strolls back to the rest of the group, not really caring that her contribution to that success was middling at best. "I should probably be annoyed.. but just being out able to do stuff like this is a blessing in itself."

    Giganpor, following the others, grumbles a little as he makes it to the shrine. "Well, this is a bust... I should probably get going. Definitely not close to that town I was told."

    He looks pretty annoyed by that, even as he looks at the small marks and hums as he picks one up. "Isn't this one of the three goddesses from the lore?"

    Wisteria laughs and hugs Vertina "I can't wait to get home, but I have to admit I love finding all this stuff... I'm gona have to find out more about this Blind One I mean this is a heck of a thing to make your followers go through just to say hi. I duno Giganpor, I mean depends on the town you were trying to get to." she grins playfuly

Miho pauses as she now is hit she sung infront of a bunch of people she's turning bright red right now rather comicly so. Before she ends up lookin back to their client she smiles a bit. 5R
"I'm glad you made it shall we get you back to town?" She tries to not think about the harpies as the job seems to be done. Well save getting their client to town.

Vertina nods as she's hugged. "They're the goddesses of the realm or something to that effect."

    Merek makes a way along with the party when all looks finished up, then he picks up his award along with the team, with a wave.

    Mizuki smiles and bows to the group and then is hugged, tail twitching happily. And the lander... actually gets them a gift? "Huh..." so the NPC isn't a complete nitwit after all.

    She blinks at Giganpor. "Three goddesses from the lore?"

    And then, a more concerning realization: "Wait, how are you getting home?"

Prophylaxis shields his eyes as the sky blossoms with clouds of incandescent gas and smoldering harpy-pixels. "Now that's what I call a show. Well done, everyone! It's too bad that we didn't get any food drops, but I guess that'd be pretty morbid, huh?"

And the Lander can finally get to their object of worship! Prophylaxis nods slowly at the sword-bearing statue, "That's another, then. Three goddesses... Well, from what I remember, this one is all about combat and the struggle of battle, so in that sense... I guess being out in the middle of nowhere and forcing adherents to risk their lives makes sense?"

There are temples out in the middle of the goddamn mountains in Japan, after all. This isn't /exactly/ out of place.

"Well, regardless, good job everyone. Even if we are still... kind of stranded out here?"