To Feel Again

After what seemed like weeks of hard work, the Peko farm is finally completed. The barns are built, the tracks are cleared, the pastures have been surrounded by stone walls to keep monsters at bay. The only things left seem to be moving the final supplies in from carts that recently arrived from the Ninetails Dominion. Workers from Crescent Moon are unloading feed, tack, and furniture into the Main House, while cots are being prepared in the barn loft.

Rylen, with all of this going on, seems to have stepped back into a role as overseer. He's spent much of the last few days working in the warming spring sunlight, meaning that his skin has gained a bit of a tan. The Pooka leans against one of the fences, wearing only a vest, his hands folded in front of him as he watches, his usual relaxed smile on his features.

A number of pekos, including his own, are already milling about the pastures, although there are more shipments of animals on the way. Everything seems to be coming together.

    Xander wanted to be cute. He wanted to catch the elf-like being off guard. He wanted to be /sneaky/, alas however, stealth was not something he was great at and with a crack of a branch under his boot-- He realized the jig would be up.

Which thus the Salamander follows with a grumbling, "Damnit." At his own failure and just walks the rest of the way behind Rylen in a slight defeated form. "...Hi." he does manage to get out before coming along side Rylen. His heavy scaled tail flicks gently. "Hopefully you are going to have enough hands on deck for when this place opens."

Even after that branch crack, Rylen doesn't so much as twitch. It's hard to tell if he was planning on letting Xander sneak up on him, or if his mind is just occupied elsewhere. Regardless, when Xander actually speaks up, that is when the elven male looks over, blinking in his direction.

"Hello there, my dear knight." Rylen gives a soft smile and an incline of his head. Then, as Xander references the farm and the workers needed, he gives a thoughtful sound in the back of his throat, "Should be. There are plenty of people in Crescent Moon looking for work that doesn't include monster slaying." Many who were trapped in Elder Tale Online were those using it for business purposes, so they are not as suited for the combat aspects of the game.

"I would ask how you're doing, but I'm not sure I'd get a straight answer." He raises white eyebrows. "But the ground beneath the tree over there is starting to get a suspiciously Xander-shaped spot under it." One side of his mouth pulls up in a smirk. "And I haven't seen you do combat practice in days..."

    "I'm taking it easy." Xander says simply. It is obvious that while Mikage did mail him his gear, he wasn't wearing it. He had on his tunic, which was slightly open. Pair of tan leather brown pants, along with some normal calf high boots, and just some normal fingerless gloves. Though he still did carry his sword at his side.

"Though," The Salamander sighs. "The alliance will be pushing for the next boss... So, I'll probably be joining for that." He leans his arms on the fence and stares at the birds doing their thing. "I should be excited," He chuckles. "But I am not. I am /really/ not excited about it."

The Salamander goes to rests his forehead on his arms. "Yet," He keeps his eyes closed. "That is my job. I made promises and I have to keep those promises."

"The Xander that I know isn't really the sort to take it easy." Rylen replies, as if the answer is all too telling about the Salamander's current mental state. "I haven't been able to make sense of this new Xander, yet. I'm supposed to be the lay-about, so it feels like he's stealing my mojo." There is a laugh in his voice, enough to tell that he isn't really being serious at the moment.

"Hmm." That thoughtful sound returns, "I'll actually be heading up the tower a little later today. I've got a meeting with the Elders of Zumfit." He'd mentioned that place, before. That there were mysterious Landers there that were not in the city pre-expansion. "Hoping to gather some intel on the floor boss, and maybe some more insight on the Lander history. Seems they've been up there for 'generations', despite the fact that we know they weren't there four months ago."

Xander's lack of excitement for the upcoming fight is met with one part curiosity, and one part understanding. "I'm considering joining the fight against the floor boss. See how accurate the intel from the Elders actually is." His silver eyes look over towards Xander, as if trying to see his response to this idea.

    "If you want me to come along, I will. If nothing else, as a body guard." Xander says with a slight hidden grin. He deeply inhales and raises his head back up, standing up straight once more. Though even at Rylen's play, Xander doesn't really respond to it.

His golden fiery eyes seem not all here. Like off in some deep thought or lost in his own head, even though he is interacting peacefully instead of aggressively. "I would throw the intel we learn to the Alliance, but no promises they will read it." He chuckles gently, with a minor sneer there; Ah there is a bit of Xander there after all!

He then runs his hands through his hair, and turns his back against the fence line to rest against it. "But I'm glad you got this place. It will help a ton of people, I'm sure."

"That's up to you. I wouldn't mind the company, but I certainly won't force you to come with me." Rylen had been to the tower during the construction of the ranch, likely following his own interest in the strange culture there. "I would have thought the old Xander would have been interested in strange Lander behavior." He lifts his brows again.

"I know a few people from your Alliance are planning on attending the meeting. They seem legitimately interested in the intelligence." He lifts his shoulders in a shrug, not really knowing much about the ins and outs of Scale Emblem. "I imagine, since they were having some supply disruptions, that any kind of intel would be a good thing."

Attempts to lure Xander with interesting information seem to come to naught, but that doesn't mean that Rylen doesn't have other ways of trying to get some sort of reaction out of the Salamander. "That reminds me..." He reaches into a pocket of his vest, pulling out an old-fashioned key on a simple silver chain. He tosses it in his hand once, twice, then turns to face Xander, offering it out to him.

"It's a spare key to the Keeper's Quarters in the main house." A place which Xander would know, Rylen had been building as his own home within Yamato. "You are more than welcome any time. And it would make me feel better knowing you had some place to crash, should you end up having a particularly... entertaining night."

    Xander takes the key and says simply, "Thanks." Then goes to place it away for safe keeping. "Though I'm not sure how many entertaining nights I'll be having." He chuckles a little, the smile was there, but it was faint.

"I guess... I'm just feeling tired," He says to Rylen, as if at last getting to the man's earlier question. "After the tournament. When I broke down..." The Salamander looks at his hand. "I realized that someone was right. I am a possible threat to everyone around me." He then closes his hand into a fist.
"How can I really be of any assistance when I can snap at any moment? How do I know that if I do, because I do, I do not endanger everyone around me?" Xander lowers his hand. "And then... I realized even when you were with me at the fishing town... How... cold I am."

    The Salamander closes his eyes once more. "How /alone/ I am. Yes, I have people around me, but... I," He places his hand on his chest, "/I/, Marcus Peterson, not this /damn/ scaled persona... have been running from myself. For /nine/ damn years... Maybe ten. I've been running from what happened to me, as soon as they told me I could never walk again. No matter how hard I tried... It... broke something."

Xander looks up at the sky then. "Sure, the games helped with my hand eye coordination again. Sure, they helped with my speech. It allowed me a form of dexterity I nearly lost... Even if that wasn't one hundred percent. But something up here," He taps the side of his head gently with his index knuckle. "Never... Clicked back on."

"I never really noticed that, till I met you. I never really paid any attention to it, till I broke after the tournament and threw all my gear to the side." Xander looks over to Rylen fully. "I just... Feel empty." Then he slides down and sits on the ground, closing his eyes once more. "... and I swear," His voice takes on an aggressive tone, before he stops himself. His hands come to rest over his face, before he just softly goes. "... fuck... I am such a mess..."

"That's up to you, but I'd still feel better knowing you had someplace to stay should you decide to let drunk Xander out to play again." Afterall, Rylen had first met Xander during one of his drunken escapades. Much of the early part of their rocky friendship had been built around those episodes. "All I ask is that you don't bring back anyone that drunk Xander decides to take a shine to, aye?" Since he did have a habit of flirting with the Lander ladies from time to time.

Rylen turns around to lean against the fence next to Xander, listening as he goes through this period of self-examination. Unlike others, Ry is pretty good at keeping his mouth shut and just listening.

Eventually, though, he does respond, his tone calm and gentle. "You're a man who has been through hell. Something like that? It's bound to stay with you. The fact is, being a little fucked up is completely understandable with what you've been through."

He shakes his head, "But do I think you're a threat to me or to your friends? No. To your enemies... certainly." Rylen shrugs then, "Maybe I'm wrong, but I've seen you control your anger. Push back the impulses to lash out. Honestly, I think if you did, you'd beat yourself up for it far more than any damage you would ever do to anyone else."

He doesn't comment on the long road that Marcus has had towards his recovery. Some things, you can't even try to imagine without missing the mark entirely. Instead, when Xander slides down and sits on the ground, Rylen crouches next to him, balancing with that easy, acrobatic grace of his. "It's okay to feel empty sometimes. It's okay to be a mess." He offers his lip quirking in that faint smile of his. "People who care, will still be there, regardless. We'll be there to help you through."

    Xander sits there, his brow knit a little. Some internal war perhaps happening in that Salamander's head. He doesn't look at Rylen right away as the man gets close to him. There was a gentle head tilt, his brows narrowing a little more, before his eyes close.

"I... Just...." Xander says softly. "... I just want to feel alive. I'm tired of hanging on the wires. I'm tired of being tangled, drowning," His hands runs along his face, his claws slowly dragging across his scaled features on his face. "... choking..."

    The Salamander moves his hands away from his face, there was tears in his eyes. A glimpse into the depths of the broken that he tries to hide. A glimpse of what remains of Marcus with no barriers or shields. No sharp words or giant walls.

Xander closes his eyes once more. "Help me." He whispers out. "... help me... be me again... help me... feel again... feel... anything but this misery.." Then as he opens his eyes, he leans over to Rylen and unless the other man pushes him away, he goes to kiss him.

There is something to be said about seeing someone without the walls and defenses they build around themselves. That vulnerability would be disarming to some people. Yet, as Xander turns to look at him, there is a sort of familiarity there in Rylen's silver gaze. As if he were seeing an old friend after a very long time.

This isn't the first time that Rylen has seen Marcus in Xander's Salamander eyes. It isn't the first tim that he has responded to that plea. It plays out like a familiar scene, in a different time and place. A phantom moment just like this one which bound them from that first meeting, only to be found again...

So, when Xander leans towards him, the kiss is met as if this were a familar scene. This is not the first time that Xander has kissed him, that much would be clear in that instant. Rylen closes his eyes, reaching one hand out to lightly touch the Salamander's cheek, fingertips against his ear and trailing the edge of his hair.

The same passion that seems to be part of each performance, each moment that Rylen lives in his life, comes through in the warmth of the way his lips move against Xander's. That subtle support is there, too, as if he were trying to encourage more out of him by the soft tilt of his head and the warmth of his hand sliding down onto the Salamander's neck.

    The touch, the warmth of the hand running along his ear, to his neck, keeps the Salamander right there. If anything his kiss becomes less of a gentle test, but slowly that of more passion. His own hand reaching up to the back of Rylen's head, moving through the long silver hair to hold there.

Only a moment is taken to catch a breath. Only a moment that some part of him realizes what he is doing, with a slight opening of his eyes, but they close just as they had opened; Only for a moment.

His lips leave Rylen's own, moving across the man's jawline, then down to his neck. His lips gentle to the skin, his edges of his teeth gently gliding along the lightly tanned skin. His shoulder's tense a little, as he goes to very carefully and gently nips down on Rylen's neck near his collarbone.

Ever since that night, Xander had always remained physically distant, avoiding every attempt Rylen had of trying to connect. So that touch against the back of his head draws a rumbling sound of approval from the silver-haired elf. How long had he waited for Xander to wake up and realize that there could be something there...

When Xander draws back from that kiss, Rylen's head leands forward against his, noses lightly touching, his breath coming light a sigh of relief. "I've been waiting for that... for a long time." The words are soft when he speaks.

But that is when Xander shifts, moving his lips first up along his jaw and then down to the Pooka's neck. It draws out a groan from him, followed by a slight intake of breath at that catch of the Salamander's teeth.

The last time things had come even close to this, Xander had been black-out drunk. A night he still wouldn't remember. Now, the actions are all those of a completely sober man, so it is hard for Rylen to argue with them. The only thing that holds him back is the fact that there are volunteers working not that far away.

"Xan..." He almost seems to struggle with getting that much out, "Not here." When he draws back, it's as gentle as possible, to make sure that Xander doesn't read it as a rejection. Instead, he pulls out his own key, letting it dangle from his neck. "Come with me?" He asks, raising his brows in invitation.

    Rylen's words normally would give the Salamander pause, perhaps it is why his eyes opened for that moment, but it didn't seem to register for now. Probably later more than likely; If it ever does at all.

When Rylen slowly stops him, he doesn't really let go. Only releases an annoyed growl, like a puppy having his favorite toy taken away, and yet, like a good boy, he does move his head back. There is slightly pursed lips, a mild look of annoyance in those draconic eyes; Yet a gentleness there too.

    Xander's eyes slowly shift over to the key, then to Rylen, then to a possible girl that may have been starting to watch, but realizing she has been caught quickly goes back to her work. Then he looks back to Rylen with a smirk. "... You're no fun." Is what the Salamander gets out gently.

Though what follows is a long, tired sigh. A head resting against Rylen's shoulder. As if a thousand tons of weight had just been lifted or perhaps probably shelved to the side. He doesn't linger there long, slowly standing up and offering Rylen his hand. "But you're the boss... Boss." There is an amused smirk there. A playful gesture. However, thanks to Xander's choice of clothing, it isn't hard to tell the Salamander's mind was in other places, even if he was behaving on Rylen's request.

"I am plenty of fun." Rylen protests with a smirk, "I just tend to keep my exhibitionism to my performances, thank you very much." His eyes sweep over to the the same girl, then gives her a shooing motion. While others might seem embarassed, the elf just rolls his eyes.

He does lift an eyebrow at the 'boss' comment, reaching out and accepting Xander's hand. It isn't much, bot for someone who had shrugged off any sort of touch, it's progress.

For now, he leads the way past the workers and into the Main House. There are people working, setting up animal feed and tack. Rylen ever so casually walks around the back of the counter to the door leading up. There, he unslings his key, unlocks the door, and leads the way inside.