A Little One On One

    Things have been... chaotic. While Xander himself didn't take part in the last tower climb, he got to hear about it. Hear about it from others, from Rylen, and even read the reports.

When he saw Amalthea there was concern on how she was handling it. He can understand the weight of losing people can do to you; Even if in Elder Tale they can come back.

Then there was the matter of the undead and the fact they failed to defend the village. While yes, some lives got out, it wasn't everyone, and that too... Could maybe also add in weight.

    So, why does this dark scaled tank of a Salamander come here to visit one of the heads of their Alliance? Simply to make sure she was doing alright and offer perhaps a shoulder; At least if she would accept it.

This means one part tracking down where Amalthea is and two parts, knocking on a door if there was one to be knocking on.

    "Come in."
    Amalthea's chambers in Castle Reach are small and spartan. A simple chamber with little more than a bed, a desk to sit and write at, and a cabinet to hold some extra clothes.
    Currently settled at said desk scribbling away at some mild paperwork, the old Paladin is out of her armor, wearing a simple black outfit that affords ease of movement and comfort.
    Glancing up from her seat as the door opens, the old Odysseia Knight puts on her usual warm smile. Although it's seemed somewhat strained lately.
    "Ah, Xander, hello. How can I help, tonight?"

    "Ma'am." Xander says as he steps in and closes the door behind him with some care. "Hope you don't mind the intrusion. I just wanted to see how you were doing." He says coming to rest his hands gently at the small of his back.

"This been rough lately and I know that can start to put a strain on this." He then gives a smile. "I also know those in charge have a /nasty/ tendency to not always look out for themselves."

    "I don't mind at all." Amalthea replies, scribbling one last item down on her papers before organizing them and setting them aside. Rising from the chair, she slides it over Xander's way for him to take a seat as she settles at the edge of her bed, hands folding together on her lap.
    "I'm touched you came to check up on me." She admits. "I've been taking care of myself as well as I can, considering the circumstances. But yes. Things have been a bit... Difficult." She admits.

    Xander watches her offer the chair and then her to go sit down on the edge of the bed. He takes a moment before he forces himself to relax, seeming almost uneasy to do so and goes to take a seat.

The Salamander is silent though, giving a nod of his head in agreement, maybe waiting to see of Amalthea continues on her own or if he'll need to prod her to continue forward with her thoughts.

    Once she's settled in there's a beat's pause. Lips purse into a thin line as she regards the Salamander in silence for a few moments before she slowly shakes her head.
    "If you're worried about me, I'll be fine." she says gently after a beat.
    "Back when this was just a game I never really played it. I only logged in to keep in contact with my daughter and son in law who also played it." She says. "It wasn't until the apocalypse that I began really hitting the game... ... This new world hard, trying to find a way back. And it wasn't until recently, at the Tower, that I learned of the true dangers this world presents. When those people were swallowd by the whale, when we weren't able to properly remember them until they respawned. That was horrifying." She mutters. "I waited for them and Mizuki to respawn at the church after that fight. I felt responsible for what had happened." Admitted solemnly. "Even if people respawn here, that doesn't mean lives are ever expendable."

    Xander listens to her, he listens closely. Those draconic fiery, gold eyes never leave her form. All hand gestures are watched and whatever he was thinking was being kept to his chest.

Once Amalthea is done, he leans back in the chair and goes to rest his hands on his lap. "Losing lives..." He says softly. "Is /never/ easy." There was a low tone in his voice, but also a true depth of understanding.

"It is even harder when you know those lives will never come back. When you... You lose brothers and sisters in arms..." Xander's eyes at last break and they slowly look to the ground. "You tend to blame yourself when you are the one who survives." The Salamander then closes his eyes, his voice growing a touch more distant. "And if you are not careful... You will forever blame yourself."

Xander opens his eyes once more, looking directly at her yet again. He falls silent for a moment, seeming to recompose himself. "So, I agree. Lives are not expendable, but that is the tough calls commanders make. How to tread in this world without losing lives and yet, if you are /to/ careful... Then you lead to the other problem. Stagnation."

    The Salamander crosses his arms over his chest, his arms were tense and as he inhales deeply, he exhales just to same. "You are a good commander, ma'am. Never doubt yourself there. Long as you strand strong, others will stand strong with you." His eyes go to meet hers. "And I will gladly risk it all, if that is what you were to ask fo me. Not because I don't think you wouldn't let me, hell, I know you wouldn't, but /that/. That is why. Because I know by the end of the day, you /will/ make the best call for us all."

    That. That was spoken like someone who has seen real combat before. Once again Amalthea purses her lips into a thin line as the listens, icy blue eyes falling half-lidded.
    "I did blame myself." She admits. "And I also consider myself extremely lucky that they weren't gone for good." Said after a beat. "I'm no hardened veteran, I was an accountant before all this began. A retired one at that." Muttered as she rubs at her scarred eye. "But as long as I know that they're back I can take solace in that. Time heals all wounds they say. And I suppose we're going to have a lot of time on our hands while we're here." Added as an after thought.
    "But..." She says after a beat. "I have my reasons for wanting to leave this place as much as anyone else. I swear to you I'll stay strong and stick by that. Though hopefully I'll never have to ask you to go so far. But... Your confidence in me is greatly appreciated Xander. I promise I'll do my best to make those best calls. I appreciate it. Really, I do."

    The dark scaled Salamander nods his head and goes to stand up. He steps over and with care goes to place his hand on her shoulder. He smiles to her, warmly, but doesn't leave his hand there long. "If you ever need someone to talk to, Amalthea. I am here for you, alright? Even if just to shoot the shit to vent or whatever."

The Salamander then goes to place her chair back for her. Though his index finger taps the back of it gently. "When we first met, I made you and so many others a promise. I plan to keep to that promise." He then looks over to her. "Where you can go back to your kids and you can be that accountant again."

"After all," He turns to fully face her. "If we are all going to get through this. We have to start seeing one another as brothers and sisters. As family in arms and while we may not all agree... We all have to work together. It is in that, we can defeat this." He then slams his fist into his hand, giving her a grin. "And I know you know that already but," He gives her a friendly wink. "Never hurts to be reminded, yeah?"

    Head dipping in a faint nod as that hand rests on her shoulder, Amalthea is silent for a beat. "I appreciate that, too." She says softly after a moment. Having someone to keep in confidence always does wonders to ease a wounded soul.
    "Mmm. Retired accountant." She notes gentle and slightly playful. "And let me tell you this has been an odd way to return to the work force, that's for sure." But again she nods.
    "I haven't said it, but I already see the lot of you as family. We're all trapped in this together, we may as well be close... But it's a good reminder... A good reminder indeed." She says, her own smile creeping back into place, just as warm as before and less strained.

    Seeing that warm smile, brings an honest smile in return on Xander's face. He gives her a nod of his head in kind, before looking around, then to her desk. "Well," the Salamander says to Amalthea, "That is all I came here to say and do ma'am."

There is a pause in thought before he raises a brow, "Is there anything else I can do for you ma'am or anything further you like to discuss?"

    The desk is pretty spartan. There's a quill, some ink, and various sheafs of general Scale paperwork, and a few books to pass the time. Amalthea isn't actually on site at Castle Reach very often; more often than not out soloing hardcore, hunting down whatever information she can get about Aincrad's floors, or actually raiding, so it stands to reason that she doesn't keep more nicer quarters.
    "Mmm. And I'm glad you came for that, Xander. I think I needed it." She admits. "And I think I just needed someone else to understand; and you've shown that well enough. I'm good now. But I'll be sure to keep you in close confidence going forward. Thank you."

    Xander bows his head respectfully to her, keeping a gentle smile on his face. "Not a problem, ma'am. I'm glad I could help." He then goes to rest his hands behind his lower back once more before giving a minor tilt of his head. "Then with your leave, I hope you continue to have a fine evening, Ma'am."

He waits a little bit longer, before opening the door and going to make his way back out, including gently closing the door as he leaves.