Oh Were Oh Were Has Our Little Whis Gone

The main complex of the manor that Plant Hwyden had occupied was the main house and grounds, but it was not the only major building on the site. Closer to the town side of the campus was a few buildings - servant houses and receiving houses closer to the road. Some of the guild members had gotten it in their head to open a cafe there, but between construction on the workshop area, upkeep on various magical projects, the overall Shotgun Wizard disposition of your average member of the guild, and the sheer fact that every single one of the combat heavies among their number was either engaged in a Foreverproject, busy, or named Haseo.

Haseo needed to contractually spend at least four out of every twenty-four hours brooding in a corner as an obeisance to the gods of Edge to retain his incredible powers.

The act opens on The Party, gathered by a brown haired member of the guild's support team who 'had lost Whiskey'. And she's completely gone from the Workshop area! Her projects bubble away, the brown-haired guildmate having been entrusted to 'stay right here, watch this stuff, and absolutely not mess anything up'. He wears a casual 'what, me worry?' smile about the whole thing. He doesn't understand the gravity of the situation.

Other reports from random passing guildmembers place Whis heading out of the mansion towards the main road near the start of the morning - first light, really - which lines up with the guildie in the Workshop who had been placed there last night.

He complains about not being relieved. It's been quite a while.

Things get worse when the party checks the road, the building that the public cafe/storefront had been planned to inhabit having been boarded up.

Two figures loiter outside the front door of the shuttered inn, a narrow-faced woman and a spiky-haired punk male.

Thankfully, someone here had purchased the DLC of Elder Tale Online MUSH.  As such, one of the new DLC characters for Plant Duck had been unlocked, it just took him time to get out of the training chamber and into the active party line.  That person had also been grabbed by the arm and dragged to the party meeting place.  

This, of course, does not look good.  One of their numbers left someone at the project station.  This is not too unusual?  Maybe it would be for someone who knew her better, but Yobi continues to gather up facts.  The older looking Salamander with a butler-like dress and a monocle seems to size up the situation and goes to talk to people.  

Who directs him towards the road.  

On the way, "So is this unusual for her?  I am afraid I haven't really met her yet," asking about Whis.  Of course, with the two at the end of the road, he gives them a chipper wave.  "Greetings, we're looking for a friend.  Have you seen a young lady come down this way?"

"She's pretty task-minded when she has her mind on a task at all," Att Syne confirms, walking along with the New Guy. While Nureha is in fact the leader of their merry (not so) little band of misfits, Att is something of the trusty lieutenant. That means that when someone goes missing on their own grounds, he should really be involved in the search and rescue instead of plotting their next mildly sinister bake sale. "If she's going to go off and do something weird, she'll usually at least bring a tank..."

Att stops across from the pair loitering outside the inn. He looks up, squinting. "That wasn't closed up like that last time we were here. What's up with that?" He points. He expects the punks to answer snidely.

The female punk - wearing light, functional leather armor - seems very put upon.

"It's because we're running it now. Members only. Okay? Membership opens up later."

She claps her hands together, bowing her head. "Please look forward to it!"

The spike-haired punk, with a metal breastplate over a puffy shirt that he threw a riding jacket over for aesthetic reasons waggles his head. This accomplishes both a shake of his head, as well as his ears and extremely waggly hairtips.

Both of them wear red bandannas around their neck, tied with a bow.

"Naaaah? Can't you see? We're opening a business." The male punk grumbles, jamming his pinky in his ear. "Sure, plenty of girls interviewed for hostess spots. We'll be a real made cafe, just like the boss was talking about."

The girl rolls her eyes. "Maid cafe. Also, shut up, man."

She tries to hold it in. You can see the veinpop.

Haseo prays every morning. To his Dark God, and the edge they provide. Or something like that, anyway.

Potential Satanic Worship aside, there are more pressing matters to worry about. Like the fact Whiskey apparently just kind of pissed off. It's less concerning when someone like himself pulls a stunt like that, but like Att pointed out, it's really out of character. "Best guess I have is that everyone was asleep, and she couldn't be bothered to wait. Isn't she still on that 'no sleep' policy thing?"

And then there's the boarded up building and the two dickheads loitering outside. Normally, one would try to talk to gather more information, but given the very pressing matter of Whiskey probably causing some sort of localized apocalypse right now, these people can piss off.
"Huh? Members only? How about I make you a new deal? You get to leave without a weapon embedded deep up your asses and we go in anyway?"

Haseo folds his arms, glaring at the two people as menacingly. As menacing as someone with the build of your average Japanese male can be, anyway.

"I see, I see..." the Salamander says, making a motion as if thinking about what was said.  To the lady, he bows back, "I suppose I shall, given my esthetic, but this does seem to put us at a regrettable conflict.  You see, this building, as I am to understand, remains under the ownership of one Guild that goes by the name of Plant Hwyaden."

The salamander folds his hands behind him again, all with a smile on his face.  "So it would be a good idea to speak to your boss so that we can come to terms on this seemingly overlooked incident, and come to an equitable understanding."

To the young man, he shakes his head, "It is unlikely that she would be applying for a hostess position, from what I am to understand," He says, going to describe Whis, "Small, at least compared to me, hazel eyes and black hair, worn straight."

He holds a gentle hand out towards Haseo, "Old chap, let's not escalate things so quickly.  I doubt they know where they encroach on because they have not acted aggressively.  It is best to assume ignorance, instead of malice.  Otherwise, you will remain single, have a forever-frown, and be considered unlikable."

"I dunno, she cleans up pretty nice when she's not in mismatched leveling gear," Att observes idly. "But I think Seliana would be involved if she was going the hostess route, so we'd have heard what's up." Suppositions and hypotheticals, all the way down.

"Property rights aside, we *are* here for a more important reason than to apply for short-lived membership. We take a quick look around, then we'll be out of your hair." At least until they get side tracked right back to the point of kicking down this particular door, anyway. The priority list frequently shifts.

Haseo starts popping off at the two door guards. The two door guards don't take it well.

While Yobi is quite ameliorating, both of the punks begin Embiggening.

Flaring from 'average punk jessie and james' to two broad, monstrous shapes retaining their armor and bearing as before.

The female bandit has thick red-orange fur across their neck and arms and a white mask-pattern around the face accented in a ring of brown. A bushy tail stubs out from the back of her armor, and two white-trimmed fuzzy ears above her head.

The male punk grew tall and lean rather than sheer width and bulk, a wiry jackal in dark tan and spots of black.

"You'll stay out of it, whoever you are. Members >only<." The red panda girl growls, her tone a grindingly low deathgrowl.

"Yeah. What she said. Beat it!" The jackal adds, flexing at the party.

"Look, alright, it's really not that big a deal," Att says, raising his hands in front of him and stepping out in front. He's making steps towards the door. "You can't just push out potential customers, right? And we're right across the way, too! So I'll just..."

Att is watching for them to start the inevitable brawl. If they swing first, system-enforced consequences are their problem, not Plant Hwyaden's.

The butler falls silent, watching Att's movements.  Should either of them go for Att, he would interject himself between the two.  However, right now it appears that things are going to get hairy...er, are already hairy.  A fight might seem inevitable at this stage.  

"Did you even listen to me at all?" He asks the two, more or less resigned to the fact he's about to kick one of them through the window.

"Why would I do that, old man?!" Sneers the jackal, directly framed between a window and Yobi.

He's flashing red, Yobi.

"Pffft. Think I'm afraid of you guys? Think you're real monsters?"

Despite the fact the guards seem to be completely stanced up, Haseo doesn't seem too concerned, audibly scoffing as he casually looks for a gap that he can exploit to get closer to the building.

"Well, news flash. No matter how scary you think your avatars are, you're still the same losers on the inside. Just because we're stuck in a game doesn't mean you magically changed. So again, get the hell out of my way. NOW."

There's a shout from above, like a foreman's cutting call mixed with a squawk of annoyance and... oddly 'precocious young lad character' toned.

"Are there any hot ones out there?"

Oh yeah. This is gonna be a winner.

Jackal sneers at Yobi, still stanced up in a perfect line for that window. "Nah! Just some old dude and his kids."

Panda-Girl rolls her eyes again, though her temper is kept barely in check by the loud tapping of her foot against the ground. "Yeah, nah, we're not going to take the first swing. You can't come in. That's the end of it. Not for you, not for your friend. Members >only<. We're done with recruiting fresh talent, and none of you qualify."

The jackal, still stanced up, does an 'it's like... that' motion with his fingers at Haseo.

A head pokes out of the second story window, a black penguin with three slicked-up spikes for hair. "Hey stop FREAKIN talkin' to them! Sheesh! Act like an Immortal Object, shut up, and be obstruction-ing!"

"That's an immovable object, not an immortal object," Yobi says, but as things have come to a head...

Yobi closes the distance between himself and the Jackle.  Who is flashing red for him right now, and he unleashes a barrage of kicks.  Each one aiming to set up the final and most powerful kick.  Aiming it for the underside of his jaw, and then a second powerful kick to try and send him flying through the window.  

Landing, he narrows his eyes at the Panda, "Let me be more upfront.  If you are not helping us in our search, then you are a hindrance as you are on territory we own.  Leave."

"Yeah, okay. I tried," Att sighs. He lifts his arms in a shrug. The same motion causes his staff to materialize in his left hand. "Fun fact, though: did you guys know the Guardians only manifest in Root Towns?"

"GRAVE CALL."

Skeletal warriors rise up from the street. They look like they're bursting out of the ground, but there's no actual damage done. Att, covered by Yobi, gestures at the door. "In," he barks. The undead march forward, clearly intent on going through whichever of the punks sticks around after their initial attacks to get inside.

"And here I thought I was gonna be the asshole to throw the first punch."

Haseo just sort of shrugs as an army of undead swamp the two were fangs. He takes a few step forward, only to disappear in a cloud of shadows as he reappears behind the two.

A scythe is quickly drawn and brought against the two's back, followed by a swift kick to help push them further into the skeletal warrior mosh pit.

"They're not gonna be the last though. You two go ahead and I'll catch up later. I'm pissed off."

One moment, the Hell Jackal Were Fang is smouldering punkishly on the stoop of the boarded up inn. His conspirator, a seething red panda who is clearly losing her temper rapidly, doesn't quite follow what happens to him.

You see, this is what happens when you get punted through a wall at the velocity the Jackal got punted through at.

The wood on the window disappears in a loud splintering crash, all wood - the window itself had been boarded over open, which is a small joy.

The Panda-were tries to bodyblock the main door but is bowled over by the charge of skeletons, opening on...

A large - large as in broad, very broad, 'big boned' broad - albino tiger were-fang stands over Whiskey Sour, bound to a chair with a large powder-pad being daubed on her cheeks.

She has most of a maid outfit on, and struggles limply. She looks exceedingly tired.

The skeletons continue to meanace Skelton-ily as the large white cat, black penguin, red panda, and jackal all turn to - or peel themselves off the floor to - face the party and bare fang and claw and fin.

All except the albino tiger.

"You're not here for the maid cafe's grand opening, are you?"

Whis makes an 'mmf-mmmm!' protestation.

"Yes, dear, your shift can start soon."

"Unhand her," says Yobi, in one of those tones that when you hear an old man in anime say, you should listen to because it's about to be followed up with violence.  In fact, as he says this, he slowly peels the gloves off of his hands and pockets them.  Those hands, with bits of scale and claws as he takes a step forward.  

"Then when you have you will prostrate yourselves before us, and maybe after you have apologized enough we will forgive your transactions against not only our territory but our membership as well," He says in that very straight tone.  

Those hands burst into flames, as he takes a step forward.  He launches forward, once more aiming his foot right into the side of the head of the Jackle.  

Att follows the wave of undead at a casual saunter. They form up in something like a mob, and he meanders into the midst of it. Being a Summoner has its perks! An army of mindless minions is merely one of many.

"We're here for the sleepy meido," Att proclaims, pointing at the tiger dramatically. "Hand her over, and nobody gets sent to the Cathedral."

A beat.

"And you have to clear out, too, because this is guild territory, but that kind of undercut the drama of the first pass, so..." He trails off, shrugging.

"You're kidding me? Right? You're kidnapping people for this? Oh, just FUCK OFF! This is disgusting!"

Haseo slams the shaft of his scythe into the ground below, creating a dark pulse that spreads throughout the floor.

Skeletal arms sprout from the ground in response, latching on to the legs of the were fangs in a desperate attempt to pull themselves out of the ground, and more importantly, hold them in place.

It provides the perfect chance to actually respond with a follow up. Something that the imp follows through with as they run past both the panda and jackal, throwing aside their scythe only to replace it with a massively oversized claymore.

"Get the hell away!" Haseo swings with his sword at the albino tiger's midsection with all the strength their Japanese pretty boy frame can muster. Which surprisingly, is enough to create a small gust of wind and a loud audible CLANG noise on impact. God bless video game stats.

As it turns out, Haseo, they are not kidding you. This is, apparently, exactly what they're kidnapping people for.

White Tiger is brought to a knee by the clawing, restraining skeletal hands conjured by Haseo. Red Panda and Jackal are both held down or at swordpoint by meanacing skeletons, while Black Penguin stopped at the staircase landing and visibly considered the prospects of bolting.

"Haven't you people ever heard of 'you don't work, you don't eat'? Well, this lost one was outside our business early in the morning poking around. Trying to grab a bite, no doubt."

Haseo full on runs the albino tiger through, blade leaving an angry red mark into her chest. The 'clang!' noise of the metal makes is met by the slow clinking rap of ring-spangled fingers gripping the cross-guard of the claymore. "And I don't offer credit."

Wrenching herself free, the large cat brings one of her large fists into Haseo's face, wrenching herself off the sword and clutching at the wound.

"Get them!!!" She calls, but the Jackal is getting off-the-grounded by Yobi's tekken legs, getting blasted clear out the back window that Black Penguin was eyeing leaving through.

Helpfully, Black Penguin observes. "Y-yeah, that's probably not a good idea. Dump the girl!"

Whis rocks her chair hard enough to fall over on her side.

A ground skeleton helpfully rights her. Thanks, Ground Skeleton.

Sometimes, violence is not the answer...

However, it always feels good.  Watching a punk fly through a window never feels bad.  Especially when they have well earned such defenestration.  It appears the ground Skeletons have the situation, Haseo has the Tiger, and Att is controlling the summons.  This means Red Panda was not a problem, which leaves...

There is a flash of speed, as the older man seems to just step in behind the Black Penguin.  Instead of the legs this time, his hands, the ones currently on fire, strikeout.  Both arms aim for the side of the head of the werefang before he aims to grab her by the back of the said head, and attempts to toss her out the front window.  

"As is my duty as the Sonic Butler, if my guests are needing aid in finding the exit, I will do what I can to hasten their journey."  

The Ground Skeletons and the Street Skeletons act as one in this matter. Ground Skeletons go for the grapple (and the helpful uprighting); Street Skeletons march in and start menacing, taking up as much space as possible, preventing the Animal Crew from running amok by sheer dint of overlapping bodies. Att moves on forward in all of this while he's at it, drawing a short-bladed knife while he approaches the middle of the room in a seemingly meandering curve.

Once Haseo has properly engaged the Tiger, Att slides on in -- sneaky-like, as is the way of his people('s stereotyping) -- and cuts Whiskey free with a faintly-glowing flash of the knife. The chair she's sitting in now also has a nice vine-pattern motif carved up the legs and the back, completely incidentally. Technically, crafting isn't combat! Technically, he's just the support!

If Whis isn't doing it, *someone* has to. The Butler is too good on the front lines for that job.

Haseo eats a punch to the face by an overly buff and angry albino tiger. As expected, this results in the air being filled with the sounds of fur against flesh, and Haseo hobbling back a few feet as he desperately fights to keep his balance.

Once he manages to regain his footing, he stares back at the offending were fang and spitting blood at their feet before going at them again.

He dips low before springing up, bringing his weapon up to connect with the tiger's jaw much like an uppercut, only to disappear in a gust of wind at the last moment, reappearing behind them and airborne as they attempt to cleave them in two with a downward swing and the help of gravity.

Properly defenstrated at Lightning Speed, Black Penguin squawks in surprise at getting zero percent f-smashed so hard he meteors anyway, blazing out the floor-one-point-five-story window by the staircase in a ballistically parabolic trajectory.

Towards a dense thicket of trees and scrub brush.

That'll end great, just great, for him.

Att Syne moves to save Our Heroine Whiskey Sour, who immediately drops forward, pawing at her mouth and spitting. Then, across the room, stepping over Ground Skeleton and around Standing Skeleton to the just-wiped bartop, getting out a glass, and starting to pour liquids into - largely from her pouches. "Have to make it quadruple strength for this nonsense--" She growls, clipped and yet wearier than normal - which is already 'quite weary' - attempting to stabilize her extremely debuffed condition before she falls over.

Literally!

This leaves Haseo, locked in deadly and far-more-serious combat with the albino tiger.

All of her banter falls on the empty ears and grug heart of Haseo, who quite righteously doesn't have time to entertain <boss dialogue> while said boss was literally tying up and unironically holding hostage his guildmate. Really, it's commendable.

What is also commendable is the beating Haseo levies on the White Tiger, air juggling the quite bulky cat with his High Time into Air Trick Combo B into Helm Splitter chain.

Her defenses don't really come up the whole exchange, Haseo pressing his frame and speed advantage to stuff all her counterstrikes and leave her a mess of slash-marks on the floor.

"F-fine. She would have had a place with me, but I guess you're all too good for the San Rio gang. Suit yourselves. But don't forget us!"

Spitting her own glob of blood on the floor, she Lightning-Steps away herself, out the front door.

Whis, at the bar, raises her frothing glass. "Thanks, everyone. Cheers."

She kicks back what is generously callable a boiling purple sludge.

"How'd you know I was gone, anyway?"

The Salamander dusts his hands off, as the fire dies out. Once more he digs his gloves out of the pockets and places them back on with care. Turning towards Whis, he arches a eyebrow at the alert of status effects.

"The person you left in charge of your projects came and got us when you were gone for too long," Yobi says, with a bow of his own. "So that does beg the question what caused you to set projects in someone else's hands and walk down the road?" There is a pause, "Are YOU feeling well?"

Att mouths 'San Rio' gang, trying to figure out why it sounds so familiar. It doesn't immediately click, so he forgets about it until probably the next time this gaggle of misfits appears.

"Yeah, we were getting concerned. Something might've eaten through the woodwork at that rate." Att's skeletons about-face and file out in a neat and orderly fashion. They'll probably dissolve in a little while. "Even odds on the dissolution happening above or below whatever it was you're still, to this minute, brewing over there, though."

"Yeah. That's right. Run away. I don't have time to join up with jokers like you."

Haseo lets out a sigh as he rubs his mouth, wiping away some more blood as he begins walking over to collect the scythe he threw away earlier.

"Someone ratted you out. Though honestly, you should probably be thanking them. The question is, how did they even get a hold of you?"

"Well, it's a good thing people saw me leave either way. I had heard there was some choice buildings over here for a campus expansion, and I've been really desperately wanting a real bath for months now. It was going to be my next project! After the current one."

Whis is efficient when quaffing her mixture, and returns I didn't leave anyoneto leaning on the bartop, rubbing her neck. "They grabbed me for checking out the place and once the boss got a good look at me..."

She picks at the most-of-a-maid-outfit she's been stuffed into. "Tried to 'hire' me on the spot. I wasn't for sale, even if she said it was for my own good. The panda and the jackal held me down while the penguin tied me up. Mostly the cat went on about... some menu? For a cafe. You know, like the kind degenerates go to, to feel the touch of a woman."

Whis coughs, and starts chasing her mixture with water out of the tap.

There's a few blinks. Haseo says she got set up.

Whis goes back to an earlier comment: "Wait, someone was in the workshop? I told everyone not to go in there. I was working on something pretty dangerous."