Duty Session 174: Totally Typical Tomb

Landers don't leave bodies to bury, but graveyards are still created as a place for them to mourn the departed. For some reason these places are randomly becoming infested with undead. The Hunter's Guild has an open quest available for clearing these infestations.

Kauchemar
Overworld - -1 - 2 - 0

"You know, I'm starting to wonder if these even occur on actual graveyards or just changing the environment to match when they pop up," Kauchemar taps a finger at her chin as she muses, waiting at the gates. "Because I don't recall there being an actual burial ground near this location." In the end she just shrugs. Doesn't matter, the call is already out to get a group together and deal with the matter.
Prophylaxis
Overworld - -1 - 2 - 0

Why /is/ there an undead hive out in the middle of the woods? Maybe it's less of a graveyard this time and more of a ruined old burial mound, long forgotten by time and with no Landers left who remember its presence and location? Maybe the undead have trifled with a sepulchre a little bit too far beyond their grasp this time around...?

Or maybe it's just a matter of randomly generated dungeons popping up in unexpected places.

"Please let me know if you are injured," Prophylaxis, Doctor of Tolbana, says as he steps out from behind the treeline, his eyes looking just a little more manic and sleep-deprived than usual. "Wounds inflicted by the undead are, ah, probably a little more likely to lead to severe long-term consequences if not properly treated, yes?"

(This is not actually a thing, probably, but he's a doctor so clearly he can be trusted on such matters. Right!?)
Merek
Overworld - -1 - 2 - 0

    Merek makes a way along into the place, his dark attire on while he finds a place to watch the party, nodding in thought while he thinks, "This should be wonderful, I need a few supplies for that Alchemist's Fire I'm making," he notes.
Schneider
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Schneider has shown up in response to the call, approaches and offers, "Who can say where people have been buried. People have been around, as people, for what, 20,000 years? Who can say where they got buried once upon a time?" But he's here and ready to go, and that's a start, at least? "I'm good at the moment," he says to Prophylaxis. "Yeah, and that's apart from them having rusty weapons. Tetanus is as bad as the Zombie Yuck, I'm sure."
Setsuna
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    Setsuna approaches the singer and shrugs, apparently having heard the loud musing, " Maybe the entire graveyard for this quest is the real ghost." He looks at the graveyard that he has visited now a few times and looks at it for a moment. " So I've been here three times and every time it changes. Perhaps it really is a ghost graveyard. Perhaps cognitive enough to change things every time someone beats it?" Suddenly the necromancer goes pale and shivers as he hears the doctor ask about wounds. " Nope no wounds here, no wounds at all. None, period. "
Prophylaxis
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Prophylaxis squints suspiciously at Setsuna's rather pointed protest. "Are you... sure...?"

His voice drips with uncertainty and disbelief.
Kauchemar
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"Alchemist's Fire, huh? Don't let the other two pyros hear you say that too loudly..." Followed by a chuckle as the Nightmare opens the gates once everyone has assembled and heads inside. "Don't worry Doc. I think most of the wounds I inflincted on Setsuna was to his pride," she teases. But then stops, ears flicking up and twitching. "What the..."

A lone skeleton prances across their path, playing some manner of pied piper wannabe tune on a trumpet. The Bard immeadiately picks up on the more subliminal aspect of the music right away. "Okay, give him credit, that's impressive that he's playing a horn with no lips OR lungs... but don't let the music sway your souls to the depths of this burial ground."

Kauchemar pulls out her lute and starts strumming, going to a different octave and tone to counter-song the effect hopefully long enough for the others to deal with the actual skeleton.
Merek
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    Merek looks to the skeleton then he nods a bit, "I will tell you all about it, and likely share it when it's finished up," he notes. Then he begins to try and offer a little bit of that doot doot to the skeleton, it is... Well, you can say that the man's trying.
Schneider
Overworld - -1 - 2 - 0

Schneider eyes Setsuna skeptically. "Are you sure you're ...?" But he falls silent at the sight of a lone skeletal trumpeter. "What the..." But he's got an old, reliable solution to this: "GUNZENRO!" he shouts, and fire springs from his extended hands, smashing into the skeleton. Schneider's good old reliable fire attack is once again effective, dropping the skeleton's health bar faster than a skydiver that forgot his parachute.
Setsuna
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    Setsuna looks at the doctor and shakes his head, "Nope none. HP is full health." He looks at Kauchemar and then back at the doctor. " Yes just as Kauchemar said, to my pride alone and I don't think you have a herb for that." Oh thank god he can hear the trumpet of the lipless skeleton and tries to direct the doctors attention. "Hey look it is the lipless skeleton still playing on." Seeing Kauchemar play along he uses some magic to put light around the skeleton, as if he was on stage. Best to draw attention from them by literally putting it elsewhere.
Prophylaxis
Overworld - -1 - 2 - 0

That sure is a dooter. Prophylaxis looks at the skeleton with no small amount of sympathy, because honestly he is trying *very* hard to doot along on that trumpet without any lips to speak of. It's honestly kind of impressive!

"Can't we just let him finish his song?" Prophylaxis asks, clearly not really feeling it as he flings a basic firebolt at the boney bard's feet. It dances out of the way, because of course it does. "I guess it's probably best if we don't, huh...?"
Kauchemar
Overworld - -1 - 2 - 0

Fire slams into the dooting skelly, dropping a big chunk off his health meter. But the rest of the party seems to have an issue with getting a constructive effort going. So Kauchemar shifts her stance a bit, pointing her instrument towards the skeleton like it was some manner of weapon and strumming a hard and deep riff across the strings. It's as close as she's gotten to a bass drop with the classical instrument, but it still produces enough of a sonic shockwave to blast the skeleton halfway across the graveyard. "No time for standing ovations, moving on!"

Unfortunately they can't move on very far, as the structure at the center of the graveyard is guarded by more skeletons. And these have enough... well they don't have brains in their skulls, being dead and rotted, but they are least wearing some actual armor over their rattling bones. Though interestingly they don't readily aggress the party, but will determinedly try to halt anyone trying to get past them.

"Act two looks like it might be a doozy in comparison." Kauchemar swaps out the lute in favor of bringing her Binder Weapons into play. "Looks like we'll have to force our way through even if we don't stop to fight."
Schneider
Overworld - -1 - 2 - 0

Schneider eyes the guard skeletons, and smirks. "Second verse: same as the first." But his GUNZENRO spell is useless, and he's got to quick throw up a shield as the skeletons lay into him. "Argh," he says, and like that, as he tries and fails to fight them off. Now it's his health bar dropping, though he seems to be regenerating, so it's not falling quite as fast as it might. "What in the world, these guys are way tougher than I thought they'd be," he complains. Perhaps not being subject to his fire is part of it.
Merek
Overworld - -1 - 2 - 0

    Merek looks to the skeleton warriors while he offers nod, beginning to shift along to swing his weapon, and tries defending. Though, it doesn't look like he will be managing a lot while he speaks to the party, "Ah, maybe we should flee! Into the place and all," he notes.
Prophylaxis
Overworld - -1 - 2 - 0

You'd think a bunch of armored skeletons would be particularly vulnerable to being blasted by a fireball or lightning bolt or /something/, but as it turns out, being undead has its perks. Like 'not having any flesh available to flash-boil' sort of perks. Prophylaxis makes a noise of mild consternation as his spell summarily bounces off the lead skeleton's armor and does approximately jack and shit to the monster underneath. "Well," he says with a huff, "There goes my plan--"

Schneider's HP drops. Prophylaxis' gaze darts towards him, just as a skeleton cuts into his own shoulder and forces a hasty and desperate barrier spell to push the creature back. "Tch. Damn. Let's force our way through; I'll fix everyone up when we get somewhere safe!"

Something about how he says 'fix everyone up' though... It sounds a little like 'i'm going to shove experimental medicine at everyone's wounds and take notes on which method works the best.'
Setsuna
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    Setsuna looks at the towering skeletons and frowns as he tries to summon up a strong enough shield construct to block their attacks. However the skeletons seem to rip through it like paper. Frowning he hears the new plan and takes off running past them as best as he can following the others. It really could have gone worse though.
Kauchemar
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Kauchemar takes full advantage of being able to use Binders without actually weilding them by hand. With the shield on one side simply pushing skeletons back and the sword on the other side parrying attacks with itself she manages to force the ranks apart just enough to give the rest of the group a small opening to run for the building interior! Thankfully the door isn't locked this time. "Exit, stage center!" Once everyone else passes she recalls the two Binders back to her, and kicks the door shut in the face of the skele-boy that tries to chase them inside. "I definitely prefer my own mosh pits."

Down the stairs and into the depths of the structure they go, until they come upon an unusual pit with ricket means of passing it. The Nightmare takes a few steps, but then stops as her eyes flash and jerks back just in time to avoid a flailing tentril of rigor mortis body horror. "... That is still pretty screwed up even by my morbid standards."

Other people in the party are probably not happy to see this chamber again, or its elderitch occupant.
Schneider
Overworld - -1 - 2 - 0

Schneider is getting the worst of the fight when Kauchemar pushes a hole in the middle of the enemy line, and he rushes through when she calls. No hesitation there, he's quite happy to be out of that, panting hard once we're on the safe side. But. He wrinkles his nose at this horrible thing we've found, and says, "Okay, let's do this again.... GUNZENRO!" The magical fire springing from his hands is entirely effective on this thing, whatever it is. Torching off a bit here and a part there, slowly draining it's HP bar with judicious application of FIRE.
Prophylaxis
Overworld - -1 - 2 - 0

Well, that's sure a scent that Prophylaxis recognizes. "Ugh," he grunts, wrapping a fresh bandage around the flickering wound on his arm. The stink is unmistakable, a sort of fetid-sweet stench of rotting flesh mixed with the reek of infection and disease. Prophylaxis doesn't even need to see the thing down the staircase to know what he needs to do. A sphere of flame ignites between his fingers-- it's about the size of a baseball, at first. But after he tosses it, it certainly does not remain that way.

It's a fireball, you see. Prophylaxis hurls a fireball at a creature made mostly of zombie meat, and takes a moment to wonder, in the wake of the explosion that follows, when it was that he grew to prefer the scent of burning zombie to live zombie.

...Not that either are particularly pleasant.
Setsuna
Overworld - -1 - 2 - 0


    Setsuna is breathing heavily as they run down the stairs and out of the threat range of the skeletons above and isn't quite paying attention to where he is going. Almost bumping Kauchemar off the platform below, hopefully no one noticed to much. "Oh joy we found the rotting flesh golem thing again. " He wipes a tear from his eye, maybe due to the smell. Taking a moment he gathers himself and as the others rain their attack down on the beast he puts out a summon. His skeleton workers rise up, looking a tad bit different. Hammers and picks instead of swords and clubs, and each one wearing half a skeleton head on top of its own as a hard hat as they get to work attempting to steady and refine the bridge into something more usable. " Big Bone Construction crew, willing to take any job , even if it kills them."
Merek
Overworld - -1 - 2 - 0

    Merek looks to the zombie thing while he nods a bit. "Alright, time to use that," he notes, then he swings a fist along into it while he notes, "Ragnarok's Wisdom!"
Kauchemar
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Kauchemar doesn't have all the fiery wrath one might expect of a demonic equine, but she's simply not based on that imagery of a Nightmare. She can toss a few firebolts, but it pales in comparison to what Proph, Merek and Schneider are able to whip out and drive the flesh beast back in glorious conflagaration. Which gives Setsuna enough time to summon his skeletal crew to reinforce the bridgework. With their own bodies if necessary. The firestorm assault drives the monster back into it's pit long enough for the adventures to get across.

Marble stairs. This is getting more elaborate the deeper they go. When they finally find the next floor and enter the chamber Kauchemar stops, staring up at what's occupying the berth. She waggles a finger at the skeletal form. "I would of expected an undead sphinx to be a mummy, personally..."

But look, there is a key dangling within it's exposed ribs.
Merek
Overworld - -1 - 2 - 0

    Merek looks to the Sphinx while he walks up to it, then he tries a special maneuver, "Good evening, Sphinx! Your riddles always amuse me, though tell me. When the people come by, it's always what's the riddle sphinx, not why the riddle sphinx," he notes. "I think you are the best to grace this place, would you let me by? Need a little bit of skin on those bones, don't you!" He does pat the sphinx on a paw, "I guess you can say if we don't solve it, we're all about to be pretty, boned."
Prophylaxis
Overworld - -1 - 2 - 0

Well.

That's... Um.

Prophylaxis just sort of stares at Merek like he's grown a second head. His own common sense might be a bit on the fritz lately, but even he can tell that this is probably something he doesn't want anything to do with.

So he doesn't. He just sort of... casts an electrical fuzz spell around the cursed swordsman to draw the Sphinx's eye further and veeeery carefully stands out of the way of whatever might ensue.
Schneider
Overworld - -1 - 2 - 0

Schneider's solution to pretty much anything is fire, and if fire doesn't work, you're not using enough. But sometimes fire isn't the /best/ solution. Hearing the riddle, he smirks, because he read that riddle in a book when he was quite young. He leans in, whispers in her ear, and saunters through unmolested. _One Hundred and One Riddles for Kids_, an essential book of knowledge for the scholarly.
Setsuna
Overworld - -1 - 2 - 0


    Setsuna looks at the spinx infront of them and tilts his head as the question is posed. He is about to answer really, right on full correct answer to but Merek seems to have a much better solution to the matter at the very least. It is at this moment he just sort of casually walks around and waits for the others to knick the key as he was unsure how to be the best help here.
Kauchemar
Overworld - -1 - 2 - 0

At least one person is able to answer the riddle, and Schneider is just enough of a BASTARD to not immeadiately share with the party. Or maybe he just expects the Skeletal Sphinx to let the whole group pass because he was right.

Which might of been true, but then Merek decides to be the most Merek of Mereks. When you'd expect it to be the Bard to pull that sort of shenanigans. It does seem to do a job of perplexing the Sphinx, who rears up in confusion. Maybe the bit of extra dazzle helps. It's hard to tell.

Kauchemar just stares at Merek for a moment. "Dude. Not what they mean by 'jump her bones'... even if that is all she has left." Then turns her attention back to the Sphinx. "Okay Queen of De-nial, I have a riddle for -you-. What counts up years but never gets older, and isn't the winter but definitely colder?" She's a jerk that doesn't wait for an attempt to answer though before conjuring a large elemental surge of ice and wind and blasting it over the guardian sphinx. "THE ICE AGE"

Freezing makes the rib bones much more brittle, its not hard for someone like the conveniently placed necromancer to yank the key out through them to open the mysterious door.

Mysterious doors lead to mysterious rooms with mysterious thrones besat upon by mysterious skeletons. You'd expect its the skeleton itself that gets up to attack but no, it's a lichified Imp that emerges from the darkness and grabs the skull to place where its own should be. "You dare disturb my rest?!" the demilich fiend protests.

"We're Adventurers, it's kind of what we do!" Kauchemar retorts as she brings her Binder shield up to bare against the spells the monster starts slinging after them! This is going to be, literally, one hell of a fight!
Schneider
Overworld - -1 - 2 - 0

Schneider looks back as Merek flirts with the skeletal sphinx and the others do their thing. He had, in fact, expected his solution to allow everyone to pass, but since we all move forward, there's no harm done. However forward takes us into the lair of a demilich. "He's not half the lich he used to be..." o/~ he sings off tine, but then it's fighting time, and he chants, "Brain, Brain dead. Obey your blood oath, come forth from the land of Avalon. Fire of Gehenna, become a fiery blast and burn everything around us!" A pause, concentration, and he shouts, "EXODUS!" It's not clear why this is, but it seems that it's a pretty intense fire spell, incinerating the creature quite toastily.
Setsuna
Overworld - -1 - 2 - 0


     Setsuna laughs as the lich begins to throw all the taunts and threats and growls that they are known to do as he shakes his head. "This is why I don't think I will ever own a lich. They are much to arrogant." Running up to the lich he avoids the magical attacks before getting right in his face and tries to boop the lich's snoot. However it is missing and Setsuna hesitates for a moment before flicking the lich on the head. It may seem to do nothing at first, but soon all the enchantments protecting the lich would begin to fall apart.
Prophylaxis
Overworld - -1 - 2 - 0

"I know I have no room to talk," Prophylaxis says of the deluge of puns, "But I don't know if I want to be associated with this kind of language."

"It's sort of... bone-al."

Beat.

ONWARDS!

Now, it's not particularly well-known these days, but Prophylaxis is something of an old school RPG fan. He knows old school RPG monsters. This is, possibly, why the sight of a gemstone-encrusted skull is enough to briefly cause his heart to skip a beat. "It can't be," he whispers, terrified, as the strange skull constitutes its body and begins... Talking.

"Demilich?" Demilich. "DEMILICH!?"

Prophylaxis is going to be a bit concerned with counterspelling the horrible curses and enchantments being flung at the party to do much else, but even that doesn't go well for him! As can probably be determined by the stack of debuffs he has hanging over his life-bar by the end of the fight.

Well. At least he'll have stuff to experiment on.
Merek
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    Merek will begin to swing into that demilich, with the magic of the Frost Shock to freeze the enemy and to shock it.
Kauchemar
Overworld - -1 - 2 - 0

"Arrogant? I'll show you arrogant!" the demilich roars in response to the defiant necromancer, but it's enough of a delay that Setsuna can apply some of his own dark arts and weaken the magic holding the abomination together. Though it doesn't become really apparent until Kauchemar unleashes one of her hellscreams and his shadowy visage clearly vibrates like static on a monitor from the sonic shockwave.

The follow-up of intense Fire magic from Schneider and oppositely intense Ice magic from Merek has a potent antipodal effect, causing the demilich to squirm and whail with anquish, knocking the skeleton of corrupted bones of the throne in his flailing fit before disintigrating back into specks of shadow.

"And now you're arrog-aint!" Kauchemar snorts. Snatchs up one of the bones that rolled across the floor. "Not to be a spoilsport, but liches do sometimes remanifest, we probably want to be gone by the time that happens."
Setsuna
Overworld - -1 - 2 - 0


    "Now becoming a lich, I don't know that could be fun. No longer have to worry about the hunger and thirst debuffs." Setsuna laughs as he grabs one of the bones and smiles feeling the magic in it and then begins to look for an exit. " I do agree, we should get out of here."
Schneider
Overworld - -1 - 2 - 0

Schneider now has a bone, if he wanted to pick it with someone. But he nods to Kauchemar about departing. "That sounds like a spectacular plan," he agrees, and will follow along at a hustle so as not to be left behind. He's not as good with the puns as the rest of the party, so he doesn't try. He'd just look like a dork. He asides to Setsuna, "It'd be a boring life. Or unlife. Sitting down here all day, waiting to get mauled by adventurers."
Prophylaxis
Overworld - -1 - 2 - 0

"I want absolutely nothing to do with demiliches," Prophylaxis decides, barely pausing to collect his loot before turning to follow the rest of the group back to the surface. "Demiliches are not good things to be around. Not now, not ever."

Besides, he's not going to be doing much adventuring with all these debuffs strapped to his everything. It's going to be a night of experimentation for Prophylaxis! Experimentation... And probably quite a bit of pain.