Duty Session 181: Grunty Drive

Tolbana has a new Grunty Ranch! The barns and stables are all finished, the Landers have been trained, and the grounds are all ready to receive their new cow-pig-horse residents. The only problem...

Is that the Grunties are coming from the still very much undead infested Ninetails Dominion, and they will need an Adventurer Escort all the way to Tolbana.

Prophylaxis, thoroughly unwilling to go through the pain of yet another caravan run across the length and breadth of the world alone, has called in several other members of the Scale Emblem Alliance to help him make sure their new mounts (or what will eventually produce their new mounts) make it to the tower intact. He waits near a ranch owned and operated by Lelia Mofur's expansive ranching and animal products concern, where a band of no fewer than two thousand Grunties are all being prepared for transport alllll the way to Alne.

...This is going to be a long trip.

Vertina folds her hands behind her head. "Too bad your music thing didn't work so we could use it to keep the freaks off our backs." Oh well, this can't be nearly as bad as the last escort Duty she was on. Or that entirely clueless NPC needing to go to the temple, right? ... Right? Please tell me that's right?

Well at least this time it's of factional interest, so there's more worth to putting up with it.

"Of course, if it did work, I wouldn't get to kick anything, so.. fifty-fifty." She shrugs.

Schneider has showed up for the grunty drive with a stetson hat and a ... well, it's sort of a stetson hat. It's the best a local hatmaker could do, with Schneider's vague directions and half an afternoon's work. "I'm ready to go," he announces to Proph, who seems to be the ... uh, trail boss, or something like that. He wears an eager grin of anticipation, mianly because he is far too young to have seen the old westerns on TV that show how hard this sort of thing can be.

    One of the individuals who comes to help out is Xander Scaleharth. Part time raider and recently, part time helping out on Rylen's ranch. Who better to help with grunties, then someone who gets to help deal with feisty pekos!

As the Salamander approaches he gives a wave to those gathered and then chuckles. "Man oh man, Doc. You were not kidding. I didn't realize I signed up to be a sheep dog." There was a snarky grin that follows. "This, my friend, you will /so/ owe me for."

"Experiments always have a risk of failure," Prophylaxis answers Vertina with a helpless shrug. "It's the nature of the beast, I'm afraid. Still, we got good data out of it, so it's not a complete loss." Schneider arrives dressed... sort of? For the job? Prophylaxis is not sure what a hat will help much with, but hey, you do you.

"We're all doing this for our own profit," he says with a soft harrumph in reply to Xander's barbs, "But if it helps, I hope to eventually cultivate a breed of Grunty that we can all benefit from in the tower. And if not, then consider it a preemptive down-payment on the next enchanting job." But it seems like all the help he's going to get have all assembled, so the next part of the job is...

"Okay! Now," Prophylaxis gestures at the Grunty herd, which is... lumbering all over the place, and not in any unified direction. This is a problem, considering that they have places to go and only so much time to get there before other business starts becoming pressing. "We need to convince these boys and girls to get a move on towards the Root Town. From there we'll get them shipped to Carmina Gadelica and then to Alne." This will be a problem. For one thing, Grunties are notoriously stubborn. For another, they're also prone to wandering. And thirdly... there appears to be a Grunty on a rooftop over there. How did it get there? Probably some kind of programming glitch, or maybe it just happens to be exceptionally acrobatic.

Schneider's hat keeps the sun out of his eyes. That's a big help. Or, rather, about the only help he can manage. He has no idea what he's doing, walking along trying to keep the grunties from wandering off. Well, he knows -what- he is doing. He has no real idea of -how- to do it. He also has no idea how to get a grunty off a roof, other than fireball. And that will result in hamburgers, not a grunty. So not as useful. He will try to keep the straying grunties on track with a bit of shouting and waving his arms, but as he shouts at one group, some nearby wander off. And when he goes to chivvy those back, some of the earlier group stop moving and start grazing. And when he kicks one in the backside, it sits down and won't go anywhere for anything. "If you don't move, you're supper!" he shouts at it, but this does not motivate the grunty.

They... right... so... uh... wow... Vertina is really out of her field at the moment. Likely none of the Gruntys are going to listen to her, she knows nothing about animals, her family didn't even have a pet for her to know anything.

About the only upstroke is that she is strong. Strong enough to actually lift one of the Grunty over her head.

"Are you sure I can't just throw them down the trail? It'd be easier than trying to direct them!"

That probably gets a lot of disapproving looks. That is not what Handle Animal means!

    How hard could this be? That is what Xander first thinks when he goes to make sure all the grunties are counted for. He tries to get the one off the building and falls down.

He then attempts to locate another one, that somehow ends up on his head. Which takes him a moment to realize that before he yells, "Get down!"

As he continues to look, another just follows him around and when he turns to look, it just-- stays behind him. Like a gruntie spy ghost. Yep. This is going /so/ well.

Grunties are stubborn, headstrong, and paradoxically docile creatures. Their stout bodies hide a lot of muscle that make them the perfect long-distance caravaning critter. But surely, a bunch of battle-hardened Scale Emblem toughs can get them to cooperate. Right?

...Prophylaxis watches as Vertina lifts a Grunty over her head. Meanwhile Xander ends up with a Grunty /on/ his head, and Schneider's attempt at intimidation only gets his butt chomped on by yet another Grunty.

The Doctor just buries his head into his hands and sighs.

"Come on..." He says, waving... a bag full of tasty field veggies!? "This way, everyone. Come follow the food...!" Apparently, the promise of food is a much better motivator than threats of violence, and soon Prophylaxis is being followed down the road by a growing trail of Grunties.

Maybe, he thinks, the Scale Emblem should invest in hiring a proper animal handling expert.

"You've found a friend," Prophylaxis says at Xander's apparent tag-along. Once the Grunties started moving, it seems it wasn't too difficult to keep them moving. But then, a sound splits the air that makes them all stop in their tracks.

It's not an Undead noise. The Ninetails Dominion may be crawling with skeletons and zombies, but they're not the only threats. No, that was a wolf's howl, and there are more where that one came from. There, coming down a distant hill, is a pack of wolves hell-bent on snacking on some tasty Grunty today. "Protect the herd," Prophylaxis instructs, readying a spell to blast the wolves from a safe distance.

    Xander huhs at Prophylaxis as he at last finds the grunty behind him. "... Seriously?!" The Grunty just stares up at him, "... seriously."

Though when the howls come the Salamander's draconic eyes look off to the distance. "That can't be good." With the realization of size, normal sword n' board wouldn't be the answer here. Instead the Salamander slams down his foot and extends out his hands.

Runes dance around where his armored foot was and those runes form around his hands. He closes his eyes for a moment, then opens with as they slightly glow a brighter golden, fiery color. He then focuses as he extends a magical aurua outward to act like a shield barrier. "This won't hold forever, so if anyone has the ability to go on the offensive. I'd suggest doing it!"

Schneider rubs his sore butt, and looks releived as the herd is gotten moving. He moves with it, the grunties are not fast. He whistles off-key as he walks along, plucking a stem of grass and chewing on the end, watching the horizon idly because it's marginally more interesting than watching the grunties.

Then there's wolf howls and Proph calling to protect the herd.

That, at least, is a thing he can do. He nods to Xander, chanting sonorously, "Brain, Brain dead. Obey your blood oath, come forth from the land of Avalon. Fire of Gehenna, become a fiery blast and burn everything around us!" The last word is a shout, "EXODUS!" An intense fireball lays into the attacking wolf pack, and a number of them pixelate and vanish. They're still coming, but there's less of them now.

"... Oh, that is a much better idea than throwing them," Vertina admits, setting down the Grunty she had started carrying so it can join the others herding after Prophylaxis. She just sort of trails along as well, because it's inevitable that something else is going to happen.

It does, with wolf howling. -Normal- wolf howling. No undead.... yet.

"That's more like it!" the Salamander perks up. Now a savvy hunter could lay traps ahead of time.

A Salamander hunter, on the other hand, just goes for hunting the hunters to make them the hunted.

As soon as the wolves come into view Vertina leaps upon them, tearing into the beasts with the claws of her battle gloves before they get a chance to pounce the poor Gruntys.

The Scale Emblem may be full of a bunch of fight-crazed hyper-raiders who are largely incompetent at anything and everything to do with farm-work, but it's still full of a bunch of fight-crazed hyper-raiders, which this poor, unsuspecting wolf pack soon discovers. The sudden appearance of Xander's Aurora Wall throws the beasts into disarray. They snarl and snap, circling around to try and find a way past the shield, which gives Schneider and Prophylaxis abundant time to unleash a frankly unnecessary amount of firepower for this kind of encounter. A catastrophic explosion of heat and light from Schneider vaporizes a significant portion of the pack, and Prophylaxis follows up with a storm of arcane bolts that waylays another third. But even still, there are yet more wolves...

Which Vertina deals with in short order, proving who the superior huntress is by the laws of tooth and claw.

Soon, the Grunties are on the move again, and the party is able to add some miscellaneous wolf bits to their inventory. But...

There are some who seem to have wandered off during the whole commotion. Maybe they were scared off by all the magic and the violence? Prophylaxis frowns, rubbing his chin as he watches one such wayward Grunty toddle away through a nearby clearing. "We... should probably gather them up before we go. The more stock we have, the better-- and I don't want to have to explain why I misplaced Grunties in case my supplier asks."

    Xander rolls his shoulders once the wolf pack is dealt with, the grunty behind him might do the same. With a flick of his tail, he seems fairly proud of himself.

Though Prophylaxis brings up a concern. Some grunties have gone missing! The Salamander huffs some smoke to the side. "Peachy." He then turns to the grunty behind him. "You. Stay." Then the holy knight goes out to find where some of them have gone off too.

For while Xander may not be great a handling, capturing, capturing her can do. He chases down those grunties and drags them back kicking and squealing. Moving them back with the rest of her heard however he has too; Including using magic if he must!

Vertina feels better now that she got to fight something. Not that it was much of a fight with all the magic blowing up wolves as well, but it still counts. "Okay!" she cheerfull calls, and jobs off after one of the stray Grunties. How hard could it be? She picked one up before, she'll just do it again.

Hahaha if only it was that easy.

She grabs the Grunty, lifts... and falls on her tail as the Grunty doesn't move. "What the..." She gets up, leans over to wrap her arms around it's middle, and heaves!

... Still doesn't move...

Vertina tries a few times, then huffs in frustration... then leans over from the Grunty's back to look.

It's eating a root. And apparently can bite on it hard enough she can't move it. "Oh come on!"

Vertina huffs as she stands up, pounting in annoyance while waiting for the Grunty to finish. "Finally." She stretchs her arms out to limber back up.

... And the Grunty is trudging back to the horde on it's own now that it had it's snack. "NOT FAIR!"

Schneider has learned from his previous herding misadventures that he needs an edge to make this happen. And now with grunties all over the place, it's time he used his powerful magic to .... herd grunties. It's not a Herd Grunties spell, but it's almost as good: His magic shield, placed correctly, will guide a grunty back into the herd by preventing it from going the wrong way. And unlike Schneider, it's strong enough to actually stop one. It takes him a bit of trial and error to get the placement correct, and a lot of magic shielding, but he eventually gets a lot of the lost grunties back into the main body of the herd.

Grunties, though extremely adorable, docile and generally well-meaning, are still in possession of some truly impressive jaw strength. Vertina learns the hard way, as the stray she's found resolutely resists being dragged back to the herd until it's well and truly done with its mid-sojourn snack.

At least they know these things will graze along the way, right?

Xander and Schneider each have much more luck. With magic shield in hand, the latter manages to be enough of an obstacle that the strays he's tracking eventually get bored and go back to rejoin the others. The former just outright man-handles some of these poor animals, carrying them back whether they want to go or not. Soon, the party reconvenes, and finds that Prophylaxis has apparently been working up quite a sweat trying to keep any more of the animals from wandering off.

But other than grime and fatigue, he's ready to get going once the Grunties are all brought back in line.

Unfortunately, between the wolves, the brief diversion, and the ground they've already managed to cover, that fatigue is beginning to set in for more than just Prophylaxis. The Grunties seem to be getting worn out, and are clearly slowing down quite a bit as the day goes on.

"I think," the Doctor says, sitting himself down on a conveniently chair-sized rock, "It's probably time to make camp. We can keep going once we rest up for the night."

But there's still a number of tasks to take care of to make sure everyone can wake well-rested. So... Get to them!!

Schneider really only knows one song appropriate to grunty herding. He's not much of a singer, but it's not much of a song. "Rollin, rollin, rolling, though the streams are swollen, just keep those grunties rolling, rawhide!" o/~ "Through wind, rain, and weather, hell-bent for leather, wishing my gal was by my side." Though it's not raining, and he doesn't have a girlfriend. He guesses right now that's a fair tradeoff. Raining, now, would kinda suck. And hey, no one's chucking beer bottles at him through chickenwire. Now that's a win.

    Xander does become aware of how everyone is slowing down. Even he is not one hundred percent. He watches as Prophylaxis sits down on a rock, before he looks over the tired grunties. "Yeah... yeah we probably should settle down for a bit."

The Salamander then calls over to the others, "If you got some wolf meat, let me have it. I'll take those, make up some wolf steaks and cook some veggies with it. Nothing like a good flame and some hot food!"

How will the Salamander do this? Not by the cook menu, oh no. He is gonna find a sturdy rock, and use that to throw flames at the meat and vegetables to give it that nice flame cooked taste.

Vertina is, honestly, a bit annoyed at how these Grunty are being... well... Gruntys. You would think animals would be easier to deal with than some NPCS, but apparently not!

"Actually..." Vertina tosses a few chunks of wolf meat to Xander. Then taps the claws of her glove against her shin. "These have an increased drop rate on them because I used a hunting enchanted item in their creation."

She at least puts her frustration to some use, and goes around stomping the ground with her earthbending abilities to make a flat even surface for camping on.

Prophylaxis tries to help with setting up camp. He really does! But medical skills do not translate to anything anywhere near 'roughing it outdoors.' Sure, he could probably do a decent job of making sure nobody dies of dysentry, but Xander is cooking the meat and veggies thoroughly enough that it's not a problem. So instead, he tries to set up something of a lean-to on the ground that Vertina helped flatten out, to try and get some shelter from the wind if nothing else.

But when that doesn't work... He just picks the whole bunch of wood up, dumps it in a pile, and sets it on fire.

"It may be summer, but it still gets cold at night," he says, sitting down next to the nice, warm bonfire. "At least we've got good food and good spirits. That's already kilos better than the last time we did something like this."

The less that's said of the dread Peko Run the better.

But soon, the grub is eaten, the songs are sung, and after an early evening's rest, the party is rejuvenated and ready to continue their trek. They even get a nice (WELL RESTED) buff out of it! The Grunties are far more energetic as well, and seem much more ready to follow the party along after the incident with the wolves.

It doesn't take much longer till the team arrives in Dun Loireag. The city's plateaus are still a ways away, but they don't need to actually scale the Highland City this time. Instead, they just need to bring the Grunties down to the caravanserai and negotiate transport to Carmina Gadelica.

But that, of course, means that this bunch of raid-punching scrubs with largely questionable people skills will have to... Haggle a decent price without being scalped for all they're worth.

Good luck!!

Schneider wakes in the morning with the WELL RESTED buff, which is nice, and he'll help getting everything back to moving again, and into town. There, he finds himself in the role of assistant grunty evaluator, for some reason. Well, this grunty drive has been a great deal of ad hoc assignments, and people operating outside their swim lanes, and he's no exception. But in this, he seems to have some facility. Or at least he seems organized in how he lines up and tallies off each of the grunties, marking it as good, average, very good, or in injured condition. His appraisal techniques seem to satisfy the grunty inspectors, much to his great relief.

    Xander listens to the talks and the trades, but when someone brings up the appraisal of the grunties, that is when the Salamander steps in.

He wraps his arm around a man, who seems to be in question and goes into the spill starting out with simply, "Now, my dear good sir. Let me tell you something..."

There also may be booze involved. After all, this city does have a great bar.

Despite her efforts Vertina did not sleep very well. She was just too worked up and frustrated. It's a good thing Xander had cooked a reasonable meal so they weren't hungry as well, or it might of been really bad.

As it is the redheaded Salamander's hotblooded fuse is shorter than usual, and nothing actually attacked them on the last leg of the trip for her vent via beating.

So when one of the Landers comes out, and starts trying to nick down price on several small and arguably unimportant details, Vertina negotiates. Her way.

"Let me," she grabs the Lander by the front of his shirt, "stop you right there." She's not going to -hurt- him but she does pull him close to look him in the eye, which due to her own height involves leaning over a bit and that does help with looking intimidating. "So you can take a moment and think really hard about who you're trying to skim a few extra gold off of."

These are people that go fight Boss Monsters in the Tower for entertainment after all. Do you really want to piss off the already grumpy looking tomboy dragon girl with your snakeoil methods?

It's a good thing the rest of the party is so on top of the business side of things this time around, because Prophylaxis definitely is not feeling the mojo today. Or rather, Dun Loireag's stock of transporters seems to have been taken over for the day by one of his patron's rivals, and he has the poor luck to have been recognized.

The initial asking price is, accordingly, exhorbitant.

But having a very upset and thoroughly done-with-this-bullshit Salamander on hand seemed to do the trick. Vertina's brief browbeating instantly drops the total bill to something far more reasonable. From there it's just a matter of convincing the local Grunty Inspectors that these are in fact of fine quality stock. As it turns out, they weren't ever going to bring a full two thousand Grunties all the way to Alne. The deal was to take a breeding and working population, enough to get started, and to escort the rest safely to be sold and help pay for the rest of the journey.

Which they manage handily, in fact. And, with the successful 'negotiations' concluded. the entire party ends up with a small surplus of personal cash to spend however they like. All in all a good couple day's work!

"Well," Prophylaxis says with a sigh, "I think I could use a drink and a proper bed for the evening. Thanks for helping out with all this, everyone. These Grunties will be invaluable in continuing the climb."

    Xander grins at Prophylaxis and gives the doctor a good buddy 'pat' on the back. "No problem, Doc. Just remember," He finger guns at him. "You owe me!" Then there is a chuckle, "But nah, seriously, it was no biggie. I enjoy this kinda shit from time to time. Nice to change up the pace... Now let's make sure we get these guys fully where they need to be and yep. Drinks. Drinks for everyone... and I'll pay everyone's tab!"

He turns to the others and gives them thumbs up, "You all did great as well! Nice work with the fireballs and talk skills!"