Standing Still

    Xander has been hiding out in a cave near by the ocean. It was a location he would tell Rylen where to find and sure enough, when the other man arrives, he would find a cave, but no real light to be seen.

He would have to go into the darkness with some care, before he would at last see the flicker of flames, around the bend would he at last find the Dark Scaled Salamander, looking into the flames with that blanket that Rylen had crafted for him wrapped around his body.

Those draconic eyes seem so fixated on the flames, as if he wasn't even really there but off somewhere else.

If nothing else, while Rylen doesn't often use fire magic, he does have some capability of calling upon it in certain situations. So, at the edge of the cave, he snaps his fingers, creating a small flickering flame that hovers above his palm, offering him some ability to see in the darkness. The firelight flickers across his features as he steps forward, his boots sounding his arrival as he doesn't try to hide his approach.

"A very strange, quite handsome man approaches. Let's hope the dragon inside this cave isn't looking to eat unsuspecting travelers." He speaks outloud as he comes around the corner, looking at the sight of the Salamander in exile.

"Hey you." He offers, voice gentle.

    Xander gives Rylen a low growl perhaps in turn to his words, before he tries to smile. Though that smile is very light, "Hey sexy." He says moving his hand out from behind the blanket to motion him to come over.

"The dragon accepts your offering of company and will not, hm, well saying devour may be wrong, but will at least accept the company." There is then a chuckle, before a sigh. "... what a mess huh?"

Once the firelight crosses over his features, Rylen neatly closes his hand around the magical ball of flame, estinguishing it to a puff of smoke in his hand. He steps forward, offering a soft smile to the man across from him. "You don't seem to be in the mood for devouring, anyways." He offers with a wry lift to one side of his mouth. He can't quite lose all of his teasing nature, but it's certainly softened a little.

As he comes around towards Xander, there is a bit of a tired tread to his step. He likely came a long way here, as usual. It seems common that he ends up trapsing halfway across the world for Xander. "War tends to be messy. Honestly, I'm just surprised it took them this long to do something quote so brazen." He settles himself down, looking over the Salamander with that appraising sort of gaze.

"Also not surprised you decided to take matters into your own hands. I'm guessing it won't have much effect, unfortunately. Probably just another person who thinks we're 'immortal' so it doesn't matter how many times we die or kill." He sighs to himself.

    "It may not have an impact, but it makes me feel better that I /did/ something, instead of allowing the embers to be forgotten." Xander replies calmly. "... I don't like the fact that I killed him though, I would have rather not have." He lowers his head gently.

"But when you are looking a man dead in the eyes, who has no remorse toward his actions... There is little choice but to see if you can knock them down a peg or three." Xander moves ever so slightly so he can just, for once, lean against Rylen. Closing his eyes as he goes to do this. "Now everyone is pissed at me, but whatever. Going to do their stupid labor, make them feel like they have some control over the situation like a good dog... and they can go back to their dumb ass politics."

"After all, I am a soldier. We don't do politics." Xander says plainly. "We just get results done."

As Xander nudges closer, Rylen slips an arm around his back, gently pulling him close. "I get that. First time I was able to fight back against the bullies back home, it felt good." He shakes his head, "I realized later that a lot of it was lashing out because of fear or insecurity. I suspect a lot of people in that Alliance have some sort of deep-seeded fear of going back to whatever they left behind."

His hand plays lightly at Xander's side then, knowing that this may resonate with him in some ways. The Salamander had his own reasons for preferring this world over the real one. "I don't expect that they'll have any remourse. If they believe they acted in the right, why would they?" The Pooka lets out a breath.

"Probably best to play nice. I'm sure you can deal with whatever your Alliance dishes out. Afterall, you've been through worse than their limited imaginations can dream up." Not that he wants to dredge that up, but... "Military training and all." That's what he means, of course. Right.

"No, you don't do politics. That's more for pretty boys with silver tongues like me." He smirks.

    Xander seems to slowly relax against Rylen. The touch getting an almost draconic purr from the man, but it was barely a faint sound and it doesn't last long. "... there should always be some remorse... taking a life is no small thing. It may be the 'right' thing, but doesn't mean you should like doing it."

He smirks faintly, "Or maybe I'm to much of an idealist and never had enough experience out in the field to even open my damn mouth on the subject." Xander then opens his eyes softly, "Its-- just hard for me to wrap my head around someone who can kill, kill again, and never... feel anything."

The Salamander sighs softly and goes to nestle his nose in Rylen's neck. Snuggling dragon is being snuggles. He mutters gently. "what is worse is I know I'll do it again if I need to... and they'll punish me again... or I'll just not obey them... I don't know."

"Alas, there are plenty of people who still think all of this is just a game. A lot of people would find it silly to get upset over the death of a character in a video game. Especially one that respawns." Rylen makes a soft, thoughtful sound. "I don't believe any of that. We may not know what the penalties are, but this game... it's not normal. It's not like anything we knew before."

He leans his head over against Xander's, "It's easier for someone like Gignapor, he didn't have to see the people he killed. Give some weapons to monsters and let them take care of the dirty work. So much less guilt when you don't have to see people die in front of your own eyes."

There is a grumbling sound to that, but he tries not to let that linger too long. Instead, he just worries his fingers lightly against Xander's side, "The guild rep in me wants to tell you to leave it to your Guild Leaders. If nothing else, it's a test of how they handle things. The Scale folks seem to usually have good heads on their shoulders, all things considered." He has a relatively descent relationship with Prophylaxis and Amalthea.

"At the same time... I get it. You can't help but want to protect people. I just don't want to see /you/ get hurt. Call that my protective streak."

    "I know... I know. You don't want to see me at the church again, but you already know." He moves his head just slightly. "I will do whatever I need to do to protect everyone I care about and those who can't protect themselves. That is--- as you said... me."

Then his brows furrow a little. "... also speaking of what you have said to me. There is... something that is concerning me." He shifts a little, moving ever so slightly to break their snuggle. Mostly so he can look Rylen in the eyes.

    "... I... Keep hoping as I try to get rest, that it will come back to me. I keep hoping its just cause of stress or... lack of sleep..." Xander's eyes trail to the ground, before he looks over to the fire. "... But I can't remember what my parents did. Neither of them. I-- remember my dad died on the Helicopter, when my mom told me that. I... know he left, but I... can't remember what his job was. Why he was on the chopper... Just that he was."

He raises a brow. "Hell, I can't even remember what my mom did or... why she go out every day. How... she knew how to take care of me so well..." Xander looks directly at Rylen dead on. "No matter how much I /try/ to remember, I-- can't."

"I know that it's probably inevitable that I meet you at the church again and again." Rylen sighs to himself, "Doesn't mean I have to like it, though." Even as he says this, he nudges the Salamander in the shoulder, "Also doesn't mean I won't always try to be there, if I can. No one deserves to wake up from that, alone."

Though Rylen hasn't experienced it first-hand, he can imagine what it might be like to have your consciousness lost somewhere in the void.

Then, Xander says something that deepens the worry lines on his face. He sits back ever so slightly, just enough to return that look, trying to read his face.

"Your father was in the military. Both of our fathers were military men." Rylen explains, "You told me about him a bunch of times. About how he was a far better man than my father by a long shot, but how you didn't want to just disappear on me like your father did sometimes." His brows furrow. "That you knew how it felt when he went away on missions and didn't want it me to feel like the one always being left behind."

His breath catches softly, "I... don't think it's lack of sleep, love." He offers with concern.

    Xander hears the explanation and his brows furrow. None of it, not a word, clicking. He goes to place his freehand against his forehead, before lowing it down to the bridge of his nose. "I... I can't remember any of it." He says simply.

Then lowers his hand, "... and I don't even understand why I can't."

Rylen is quiet for a moment. He has been someone on the receiving end of strange memory loss when it comes to the White Whale, which is enough for him to be concerned about what sort of effect being trapped in the game long-term might have. "This is... something that you should probably talk to Prophylaxis about. He's the most skilled medical professional I've met, and he's in the best position to look into it."

He reaches out, lightly touching Xander's cheek. "I can come with... if you want. At least to confirm what seems to be missing." He knows all too well that the Salamander likes to keep that barrier up, at last when it comes to other people. Talking about this with someone may offer more insight than he might want into their relationship.

"This doesn't sound like stress to me. Not the way you're describing it. Besides... your father, growing up as a military brat, that was some pretty important stuff." He tries not to look too worried, but it is there in those gray eyes.

    Xander leans his face into Rylen's hand before he takes the blanket and just-- wraps them both with it. "I'll... talk to him. I promise, but... best I... I do it alone. Not.. exactly ready to go to public about us..." He admits softly.

"... Even if it means glaring at women from the sidelines." He muses, trying to lighten the mood a little. "... E-either way. We should get some sleep... we both have a long travel ahead of us."