Where Frustrations Lie

After the time spent underwater, exploring the dungeon and the oceanic reach beyond, Mikage had seemed... tired. Not just the exhaustion that comes along with delving deep into danger, but almost as if she were carrying some heavy weight, at least emotionally.

The Were Fang had retreated from the others, back to the camp she shared with the rest of the party, momentarily occupying a spot on the beach on the Isle of Beginnings. There, she has a little fire started, more for warmth against the sea air than anything else. She doesn't even bother trying to cook anything, since that would be a hopeless cause.

So, she pokes at the fire with a stick, looking quietly pensive. Despite having traveled with others for much of the past months, it still doesn't come naturally to her to share her thoughts, at least unprompted.

Cyrus has had multiple glimpses into Mikage's exhaustion, and what had led up to it. He can understand the kind of emotional weight bearing on her shoulders in the last while.

As Mikage sits at the fire, Cyrus joins her not long after. Quietly sitting next to her at first, then swiping for his inventory, and taking out a stick with meat on it that no doubt had been made by Sasseral. "You've got our resident wolf worried. And me as well." He remarks to Mikage as he sits there, waiting for her to take the food, while lifting a leg and leaning his arm on it - staring out at the ocean.

"Copper piece for your thoughts?"

There is a flick of Mikage's eyes over towards the inventory-produced food. It's probably the best option figuring neither of them were particularly skilled in cooking. Still, she looks away again quickly enough, giving a soft sigh.

"I... don't know what to do." She admits. "I had a suspicion of what Giganpor was up to, but it wasn't as if I could throw accusations out against some other guild's leadership. He's gotten little more than a slap on the wrist for the deaths he caused, and one of my own guildmates may have plans to hurt one of my first real friends I had after the Apocalypse."

She prods at the fire again, a bit more emotion in it this time, "I miss my old guild. I miss a time before the Alliances and their political bullshit. I don't even feel like I belong in Silver Sword anymore, much less New World Alliance."

Cyrus lets out a sigh as Mikage finishes speaking, placing his hands into the sand behind him, and turns his gaze up to the skies instead. "Yeah, I know what you mean. I mean, nowhere is perfect. There's going to be jerks in every guild. But it still sucks to hear that kind of thing is happening. I'm kind of surprised it took this long to be honest, for a major name to do something stupid."

The youth looks a bit wry. "I've been part of a series of guilds in the past. But it's even more complicated now that we all basically live amongst one-another. The Alliances have made a home here, and are unavoidable at this point. Personally, I still like the Alliance. But I can understand being rather disillussioned with the leadership." He glances aside to her.

"What do you want to do?"

Mikage is quiet for a moment, still hunched forward, the firelight reflecting off her blue eyes and giving them an almost lavender hue. "In the smaller guilds, if someone was an asshole, you kicked them out." She tosses the stick into the fire, giving up on expressing her frustration by poking and prodding the flames. "Everyone is too afraid to lose ground against the other Alliances to kick out the problem children."

Her lips spread into a thin line, "I get the fact that everyone thinks of this world a little differently. People who want to go home, people who want to stay, people who want to change the world for the better." Mikage had explained before that while she feels more alive in this world, that doesn't mean she wouldn't go back to the real one if the opportunity came. Even if she can be herself here, there is still that disconnect for her, the fact that so many people are the opposite. They choose not to be true to themselves, so this world is built so much on lies and people trying to escape their own reality.

"I guess I'm an idiot for wishing we could all just find a way to work together, rather than ripping each other appart. Still, people are going to fight, and kill for what they believe in. I just want to be kept out of it."

She looks towards him then, uncertainty in her eyes. "I'm not sure. I don't want to hunt down Kaydon. It makes me feel like I would be just as bad as he is, but if I let it slide, then I really am just the coward he called me out to be. Too afraid to face the consequences." Her brows furrow. "I know Xander can take care of himself, but... I can't just sit by while a guildmate threatens a friend."

"Well, we don't need to hunt down Kaydon. Besides, I'm pretty sure Xander is much higher level than Kaydon at this point, to the point that Kaydon isn't much of a threat to him. But we can keep checks on Kaydon. He's Silver Sword. I'm sure we can have someone take note of what places he visits and cross-check against Xander. We can't babysit them. But if need be, we can interject in some places." He explains to Mikage. "I believe I heard one of the Alliance Leaders say they could get the 'general area' people were in. Like... Eastal, or Fort Ouph if in a big location. I would have to inquire."

He then leans back up again and wraps his two arms around his raised knee, laying his head on said knee. "You're not an idiot for wanting to believe in people though. Most of the Alliance disagreed with what Giganpor did. I think we have a lot of good folk with us. I think Giganpor just doesn't have the understanding and vision that is needed for someone at the head of Grandeur. We need someone who actually can drive some projects, and get Lander ties. We need someone who understands a bit of that politics. Bear is... fine I guess, as a person. But he is clearly not big on politics himself."

The youth grunts, amused.

"Most of us are interested in mercantile and just... doing things ourselves. Shibuya is a fantastic project to bond over, but it stands alone from the Landers and the rest of the world, they way we are running it right now." He's seen flaws himself. "In the meantime, Olympus Alliance is managing actual connections in the Fourland Dukedom." He pauses. "Sorry, I went off on a tangent there. Anyhow, I know some tiny guilds out there if you are looking for something a bit more... seperated from the trouble. Tight knit kinda folk. Low on the drama."

"I know Xander can handle himself, but..." She looks towards him then, her brows showing that concern, "What happens the next time, or the time after that? What happens when you, or Sassaral, or some other friend of mine steps a toe out of line and he decides to play judge, jury, and executioner?"

She sighs, "Sass is like a sister to me, and you..." Well, she doesn't really have words for their relationship, so she just leaves it hang there. Leaning her head forward against her fingers, Mikage rubs at her temples.

"I don't know jack shit about creating anything. I don't make stuff, I kill stuff. That seems to be all I'm really good at." There is a reason she ended up in Silver Sword and not one of the other guilds. "I'm not exactly a people-person, either. So I'm kind of a bit useless other than to hunt down monsters or fight whatever it is that this fucked up world throws at us."

Pensive, she lowers her hand, rubbing her fingers in a repetative motion, "I don't know. No one asks anything of me in Silver Sword. I go where I want, when I want, and I don't really answer to anyone. Changing guilds means I might have to start actually giving a shit about what the guild wants or needs." She pauses, "Right now? I can't really invest enough time to give a shit. There's too much else in this world that is looming large to care about politics."

The youth nods his head. "And you've got Shiruba. They are also not big on Politics, and a bit quiet. But at least their heart seems to be in the right place." Cyrus answers Mikage. The youth then lets out another one of those sighs.

"Yeah. Sassy is a sweet thing. I don't know what we'd do without us. I don't know about sister, but... she's the Heart of the Party. Basically." He remarks. "Sorry Rama. Wherever you are hiding. You are just the mascot now." The youth chimes, trying to ease the tension with a little bit of humor.

"But if that idiot came for someone within the Alliance itself, I am pretty sure the acts would be swifter. And I have some ideas on how to keep someone... out of play if need be." He explains to Mikage. Taking out a particular potion of sorts that seems to contain some kind of glue.

He then puts it back again.

"Still, Silver Sword is good at what it does. It explores, and it battles monsters. You're living prood of that - being one of the biggest badasses I know when it comes to all of that. I just support from the back lines." Something he seems happy to do. "And I am glad to be friends with such a badass." He then adds, smiling aside at her, lifting a hand up and moving a hair out of her face. She can tell it's one of those spur of the moment kind of things that lack thought... a rare show of Cyrus letting go of the reins.

"I don't know." Mikage shakes her head, a few strands of white hair falling into her eyes. "Shiruba... hasn't really spoke up against what Giganpor did, at least in any sort of convincing fashion. It feels more like she approves of his methods, just not of the fact that he got caught." She lifts her shoulders in a shrug, showing some uncertainty. "But who knows. All of this could just have me jumping at shadows."

She leaves it at that, looking out towards the growing evening, "Rama's hunting. I think he didn't want to depend on my sad attempts at cooking tonight." Probably for the best.

As he begins his string of compliments, she just sort of gives an indulgant roll of her eyes, "Yeah, yeah. So you say." But then his hand moves thorugh her hair and the girl just about freezes in one of those deer in the headlights looks. She has never really been certain what to do with some affectionate overtures. She'd gotten better with them, accepting them more and more over time, but...

She just shyly looks away, back towards the fire. "As much as I feel more like myself here, I'm not really sure I was built for this new world. I miss my dad. I miss going to sleep and feeling safe. I miss not having to care that much about the bigger picture."

"I think you may be jumping at shadows on that one. But who knows. Maybe I am wrong myself." Cyrus remarks. "They're not my guild leader. But they seem a pretty good person when I interact with them. They don't have that... quality to them where they have the blinders on." He notes.

As she tries to diminish his compliments, he just insists. "I am." Simple, and straight to the point, glancing at the fire with her as she turns away. Being so forward is hardly the typical approach for people in Japan. So instead, he just remains close to her. That unspoken thing tends to work pretty well in their culture.

"You could go to sleep feeling safe in the Root Towns. But I understand where you are coming from. It's definitely a different world. I've just... gotten used to it. It's almost been a year. And perhaps I've come to enjoy the escapism a bit... I don't really have much to come back to except for my job. I'm sure my family is taking care of my cat. And while I miss my cat... I've found people here who are far more personable company." He notes, looking to her.

"She said she didn't disagree with him that something had to be done. Just that she disagreed with his methods." Mikage confirms. There are times that she listens to the chimlink, but doesn't speak up. "That's what leaves me with that feeling." The girl doesn't push that matter any further though. The fact is, there were plenty of people in the New World Alliance who were far more enthusiastic about the 'stop the climb at all costs' mentality. She isn't among them.

She seems thoughtful for a time, though, then comments in a quieter voice, "I imagine it's only a matter of time before we find out that the Root Towns aren't safe either. Everything we used to know seems to be breaking. There are so many ways of twisting the system and we're only scratching the surface."

When he talks about his own escapism, she looks down at her hands. The stillness in them that simply doesn't exist in the real world. The times when she almost forgets that this isn't how her real body works. "It would be nice if I could lose myself in this world completely, but... that's not who I am." She lifts a hand to her face, then shakes her head, "This is a fun shell to play around in, but it isn't the one I'll have to return to if we ever get out of here."

With a sigh, she offers, "Even if I'm more free here, I don't want to forget who I am."

"I guess there is some inevitability behind that kind of thought. I hear the same in the Olympus rings." Cyrus notes. "I get it... people are really attached to this place, and rather not lose it. But honestly, how can anyone blame Scale Emblem for acting the way they do? People try to villify them, but they're just trying to look out for everyone." Cyrus notes. He then nods. "Still, Shiruba could just mean that something needs to be done in a political sense. Or try to cut off their supply lines, or something like that." He shrugs.

"Still, right now, the Root Towns are still safe. It's no use trying to think about things that 'could' break. Otherwise you just sit there worrying about every little thing, until you stop acting at all." Cyrus remarks.

He quiets when she mentions not wanting to forget who she is. "The same here. It's why I keep my morning routine." He notes. "Get up, do some excercise. I don't know if we can get fat or get some kind of lethargic status here... Adventuring is hard work after all. But keeping that morning routine helps ground me."

"I wouldn't trade the time I've had here for anything in the world." Mikage admits quietly, her voice seeming to have taken on that softer tone she sometimes uses when she feels less sure of herself, "But I'm not sure I could choose this one over the real world if it came down to it. I'm not sure I could abandon my dad that way. He stuck with me through... well, everything." She has a close relationship with her father, who had been her support for years. The only person who believed she would amount to anything.

"Someday, I feel like our Alliance is going to draw a definitive line in the sand, and I'm not sure that I'll be able to stand on their side of it anymore." She fidgets again, "And I know that no matter what I choose, someone I care about will become my enemy." That is something that doesn't sit well with her. Perhaps because both Cyrus and Sassaral seem far more comfortable with their roles in this new world. So they may very well become the ones she betrays.

"I think we've all seen that people have friends across those lines. Some people have tried to draw lines, but let's be honest. We're all a bunch of people. We're not a nation. Nobody can control us in that kind of way. And nobody will convince me to lay a hand on you or Sasseral." He answers Mikage. "They day this Alliance or Guild asks me to raise a hand to my friends against my will, that's the day I pack up my things and take them elsewhere."

The young man glances aside, noticing her fidgetting. The way she was talking about her dad. "Maybe we can do both. Get out, but also be able to come back. But it'll take a lot of effort if that's the path we want to take." He remarks to Mikage.

There is some measure of relief that comes with his words, enough so that she lets her hands relax again. It seems that fidgeting is one of those ways that she expresses her anxiety, likely a result of having so little control over such things in the real world.

"I wouldn't want to hurt you two either." Mikage closes her eyes and lets out a breath. "Fuck them. Fuck them all. We've been here close to a year and there are already people at each other's throats. It's all so stupid." She seems to have regained some of the force behind her voice at that.

The prospect of somehow being able to both escape /and/ protect this world seems to draw a curious look, "It's been months, we aren't anywhere close to getting to the top of the tower, and we've explored a good chunk of Yamato with no sign of this Twilight Key." Her lips purse. "I'm sure there's so much more we haven't uncovered, and I'm sure that the robot and her weird island have something to do with it, too. I just don't know where to even start looking."

"Hey, I didn't say it was going to be easy. But that is the answer we are proabbly looking for." He answers Mikage. "What do the Americans say? Let us... have our pie and eat it too?" The saying sounds strange in Japan. "Americans are greedy. But it may be worth looking into." He remarks. "Whatever that Twilight Key is. If it's as powerful as that old man alluded to, then it is our goal." He explains. He's letting her curse as she desires. He doesn't jump in too much on the matter. Not that he doesn't feel similarly.

"As for where to start looking. The tower is one. But the thing is, I doubt that if there is some backup plan like that, that there isn't other ways out. You don't just make 'one backup plan'. Not to mention, what about the other servers and countries?"

"I don't think the tower is the only answer." Mikage confirms. She's said as much before. "I've never believed it is. That's why I've always pushed us to keep looking for other signs of strange happenings around the world. Anything that might stand out or show us the way." She is as much driven by her need to explore as her belief in that theory.

"They wouldn't have made this entire world, if they wanted us to do nothing but climb the tower. And what about all the people on the other servers? There's no tower there for them to climb. What kind of message did they see when this all went to shit? It couldn't have talked about climbing the tower, right?"

Her brows furrow. "Assuming that there even are other servers and this didn't only happened here in Japan." She doesn't have any answers to that question. "I have to believe there's more to it..."

"I don't really know anything about server architecture and all that stuff. So I can't really comment." He answers Mikage when she talks abotu the other servers and what they must have seen. Instead, he kind of puts his hands behind his head, and lays down in the sand. Shimmying in order to get comfortable, tail to the side.

"We'll figure it out. You're chasing that crystal to get us to the Palace Lands. I bet we'll find out a whole bunch of stuff when we get there."

"Assuming that it actually opens the way." Mikage doesn't really know if that is how any of this will work. "If it does, it at least answers the larger question about the rest of the world. If it was just us, or if we can someday expect to find our counterparts from around the world, having been struggling on their own servers all this time."

It's something that she has been left wondering about. For now, though, with some of her feelings brought to light, the weight seems to have slightly been lifted from her shoulders.

So, she shifts, settling herself next to him and leaning ever so slightly against his side. It's a companionable thing that she's done so many times before, but also a sign of her affections, even if she isn't brave enough to do more. "Thanks for listening at least... better I talk about it than stew on it."

The youth instinctively shifts his shoulder down a bit, letting her lean more easily against him, and then lays his hand against hers. It's a sweet little gesture. "Miki, I will always be here to listen to you. No matter what is on your mind." He answers her, glancing aside to her, his ears twitching a little, focusing on her words. "We're friends. Really close friends at this point, I'd like to think. I told you before I'd follow you to the ends of the world. That doesn't just mean traveling with you."