Performance Bonus

After the distractions of the last weeks, it's business as usual the Slime Labs (a fully owned subsidiary of the Royal Society for the Appreciation and Study of Gelatinous Creatures). The new sign has been hung above the door, and it proudly proclaims "We Pore Over Porings!", while Uta is sitting at her workbench.

Hunched over a neutral slime, wearing a pair of reinforced Monster Handling gloves (which people might recognize as a pair Rylen used to wear, only adapted to her smaller hands -- probably thanks to the magic of Menu Equip'ing items), she offers the little thing what looks like a pointy tooth.

The slime, simple creature as it is, just gobbles it up without thinking, and seconds later, it's all green, with glowing red eyes and jagged teeth.

Uta swipes her menu, taps some option, and goes back to looking at the creature. "...excellent. Feeding them samples from high level monsters does not raise their level. A low level slime changes its morphology when primed, but still remains at the same level."

Notes are jotted down in charcoal, if one could call something so consistent and precise in form as to seem almost printed 'jotted down'.

    Setsuna had arrived at work, how is this known well because now Setsuna literally has a small entourage of monsters that go with him. The new mount known as Roki , is parked and chained out back. On top of this, standing slightly to the left of the slime lab entrance would be a skeleton knight, standing as if a statue. Setsuna however was inside , dishing out slime kibble to the slimes in their cages and hoping no one noticed that he just walked in. " Hey Uta, what are you over there making today? "

Goldenblade knocks on the lab door, then lets herself in after a moment. She takes a look around and calls a greeting. "Hey!" She's wearing her backpack-full-of-rocks and looking pretty chipper for all that it's kind of dragging her down. She saw the menagerie outside, so she knew Setsuna was around, too, and so she asks the two of them, "Got anything interesting going on?"

If Xander, Rylen and Uta are some weird family dynamic of My Two Not-Dads trying to keep an absent-minded Spriggan out of trouble, then Kauchemar would be that odd relative that shows up at random, crashes on the couch a few days, and is sometimes the source of said 'trouble' while helping look after the place. Like some bizarre equine fusion dance of Mary Poppins and Uncle Buck.

So it's little surprise she's about when people start showing up at the Lab at the same time. "But level isn't always related to demeanor. Even a low monster can still be a stubborn git with more willpower than you're prepared for." She almost sounds like speaking from experience.

Uta turns to face Setsuna. "Oh? OH! It's you. You've finally arrived. Now, go clock in and- wait. Do we even have mechanical clocks in this world?" She taps her lips, eyes lost staring at some point in ceiling. "Someone needs to invent mechanical clocks... and timecards..."

She shakes her head, carefully, /very/ carefully picks up the newly created green slime, picks it up, and places it into a nearby vat.

"We sure do, Paula!", she answers Goldenblade with a huge smile. "I am trying to ensure my attempt at creating a slime out of wyverns or a dragon is reasonably safe." She picks up her notes, and leafs through them. "Preliminary data is very encouraging. Monster level is not altered by morphological direction..." At this point, she turns to Kauchemar, "...and yes, I am very aware that personality /can/ be altered." She nudges her head towards a reinforced vat with extra thick glass and metal bars around it, within which one of the Dark Slimes from the Wave of Calamity bounces around in a savage frenzy. "Slime Shady over there is a living proof of this. What I'm this close to proving is that we have at least a killswitch: if we make an insane, angry, murderous flying slime, it'll at least be a reasonably low level insane, angry, murderous flying slime. If enough skilled Adventurers are around, we can just slay it before it does anything serious."

"Also, welcome back from your Strange Mood journey, Setsuna! I hope you had fun being a different kind of insane. To celebrate your return to work, management, which would be me and Potpourri the rat-"

As he is mentioned, the little rodent stands up in its little cage with a few quiet squeaks, nose and whiskers twitching in the air.

"-have prepared a little something for you!"

She reaches under her desk, and pulls out a smoked glass jar, closed with an equally smoked glass lid. She moves over to where Setsuna is.

Kauchemar peers at the reinforced vat. "Yeah. I toy with Darkness regularely and even I don't want to tango with that thing." Though it's less it being a dark slime and more the event it was spawned from that she's wary of. Who knows what other weirdness that did to something as morphological as a Slime.

    Setsuna blinks and puts down the slime kibble , as he was not expecting this. " You got me a gift?" Yes yes there were other people around, but Setsuna didn't see any of them giving him a gift. He couldn't remember when he last got a gift. It almost brings a tear to his eye. " Oh thank you. " He gives a bow and takes the jar if it is handed to him.

Goldenblade is always confused when Uta calls her Paula. It's her name, officially, sort of. But she doesn't ever call herself that, or even introduce herself that way. She's been in Japan so long she's no longer accustomed to non-family addressing each other by their first names. So it takes her a minute to work out what Uta is saying to her.

"A slime out of wyverns? Is that safe? Is that possible?" The mind boggles, or Goldenblade's does, anyhow.

The jar will be handed over, and once opened - it will reveal a duck slime -- or, no, rather, in this world, a "Quacker" slime. Instead of the colorful feathers it's famous for, it's got shiny patterns on its body and looks a bit duck-like in body.

It also bites people's fingers.

"No need to thank me, you've deserved it! The exact nature of the gift was a suggestion from an Adventurer who was a computer programmer outside of ETO. He told me this story about how they found out about stupid ideas by just explaining their reasoning to a rubber duck."

She walks over to Setsuna and adds, "Whenever you hatch any plan of action, it would probably be a great idea to first try and explain it to the quacker slime. And take all the time it needs to let it sink."

She turns to Kauchemar, "...are they /that/ bad?"

The response to Goldenblade is simply, "That's the idea, that's what I'm trying to confirm now, that's what I'm trying to confirm next. Respectively."

Goldenblade looks worriedly at Uta. But if she's finding out if it's safe /before/ trying it rather than finding out if it's safe /by/ trying it, it's a good thing. "I'm sure if it can be safely done, you'll work out how." As far as explaining things to a rubber duck, she smirks. "That seems very kitschy and new age," she says wearily. "In my day, we just figured things out. It was much easier. Of course it doesn't get very complicated with bricks..."

    Setsuna looks at the slime for a few moments and tilts his head for a moment before looking at Uta with a genuine smile. "Thank you very much. I will cherish it." Setsuna gives a deep bow while holding the jar and even reaches out and pets it. " Yes you are such an adorable quacker slime, I shall name you Soggy. Soggy is who you are now and we will introduce you to your big brothers, Roki and Skull. Yes such a good slime.Ow!" Yes it bit him, as it is what they do naturally.
     Looking around he sees other people, " Oh hi there , when did other people get here?" Stepping away from the group he drops a few pieces of kibble in the jar and then whistles. His knight would come in, get a few directions and handed the sealed jar to pack the slime up to go home. Turning back to Gold...Paula, he adds " If we only do what is safe, we will never get to the moon."

"A slime with potentially unknown abilities because it was spawned in a metaphysical calamity is not something to take lightly." Kauchemar moves to the opposite side of the lab, then stares at Slime Shady once more. "... I approve of the name, though." No surprise the Bard who was a real-life DJ gets it.

"Setsuna's got the right idea there. Both about naming the slime Soggy, a most excellent name, and remarking how we would never have gotten to the moon as a species if we weren't recklessly drawn to trying things we shouldn't. With the appropriate care and prudence, of course." One finger shoots up, to point at the ceiling. "And now we have /two/ moons to reach, so we need double the spunk!" She clenches her fist and gets that shounen burning stare of determination. "One day... one day we will start the Yamato Space Program!"

"Thanks, someone else suggested it," she replies to Kauchemar. "Can't remember who -- but I liked it and so it stuck."

"I don't suppose you were allowed to 'get strange ideas' with bricks. That might be why wou didn't need ducks."

Goldenblade snorts to Setsuna, says to him and Uta, "There's a line between brave and foolhardy. You kids don't remember the space race, I think. The US emphasized safety, and only had a couple accidents. The Soviets were all must-do, and wound up having several mishaps. The US got to the moon first because they had a better risk management culture. When the Americans adopted the must-do ethos, they lost a space shuttle. So, you don't have to always do what is safe, but you can control your level of risk." Apparently corporate training covers that sort of decision making process. Every stinking year. @.@

    Setsuna shakes his head as Goldenblade acts as the ghost of reason, " Oh yes there is absolutely reason to be safe, however at the same time, haven't you ever wanted to be one of those amazing people who got there by complete accident. " Setsuna adds as he takes a seat, obviously he was chatting with a customer and should thus be able to sit and talk. " The type of idiot who would go outside and fly a kite with metal strapped to it in a lightning storm ot see what would happen. " Setsuna now grealty wished his relic was a metal key that generated lightning, as he continues, " Sometimes you have to be willing to stick your finger in the light socket to say yes that is electricity. Also to get a cool hairdo"

Goldenblade sighs to Setsuna. "This is why Japan lost in World War 2. Too much faith in heroics and bonzai and flying a metal kite in a thunderstorm, not enough crouching down in a foxhole and shooting everything you see. Real progress only happens like you're describing in TV dramas because it's dramatic that way. Real useful progress is pretty boring. Though, as a side benefit, it works." She sighs. "For every 100 kids that stick their finger in the electrical outlet, one gets a cool hairdo, 99 get a trip to the morgue. You're confusing childrens' cartoons with things again. That sort of thing happens in Woody Woodpecker cartoons." She allows, "Though since this is all a game, who can say the way the code is written. Maybe it will work. But I wouldn't want to bet my life on it."

"Practical tends to be boring, yes. And that is why I go for the dramatic showmanship!" Kauchemar does a hairflip with the shake of her head and does a bit of air-guitar strumming. "... Though sticking your finger in lightning without proper protection is still probably a bad idea. Unless you're looking for shocking revelations!" And now people probably wish she'd stayed quiet. "Okay, I'm sorry, that joke was re-volting even by my tastes. Hah!"

"Hence why I qualified 'care and prudence' with 'appropriate'.", Uta replies to Goldenblade after her first comment.

She then turns to the necromancer after he speaks, "...Setsuna. What have I just said about the quacker?"

After Goldenblade's second comment, she just keeps quiet, electing instead of appearing distracted by her work: lining up her notes by hitting the desk with the bottom edge of the sheets, placing them down, and rearranging a few slimes. "Let's see, let's see, where was I..."

Japanese countenance breaks down at Kauchemar's puns: she does wince.

Goldenblade smirks at Kauchemar's punning. "5 of 10 for bad puns," she offers with a chuckle. She nods to Uta, and says, "As long as you're taking reasonable safety precautions and not just trying things that seem cool..." Because she knows Uta.

    Setsuna looks at Kauchemar and shakes his head, " No no it wasn't bad. It really amped me up. " With a smile on his face he looks at Uta, " Sorry Soggy is currently packed and will have to be told all my ideas later tonight, after some of them are done." Why yes Setsuna does often act on the better to ask forgiveness then permission, it seeemed like it was the only way to turn the wheel every now and then. There was question he had meant to ask when he returned to work, " So Uta I heard from the mouth that learned how to grow a body, Merek, that you had some Alv language lying about? "

"Now if only the mouth would learn to stop getting the body killed," Kauchemar adds to Setsuna's quip.

Uta, still giving her back to everyone else, replies to Setsuna, "Oh, uh, I don't have /much/. I have the word "enne", which Merek and June have taught me. A Traveler also confirmed that what people transcribed that night at the telescope during the Firefly Festival was Alv language. I haven't heard of much progress in that direction. But!" She spins in place and beams. "For one, there's hints that what the landers are singing might be Alv language. He gave me a song transcribed... well, let's say that the Landers' obscure language was transcribed as well as one could. You know, 'sounds like'. We still haven't cracked the language proper. But singing that song, which contained the word 'enne', next to a Chaos Gate, made the corresponding characters light up. So that's a start. And that's why my next step in trying to learn more about the Alv language is- OH! OH!"

She spins in place again. "You guys are going to love this!" She rushes off to a corner, and brings forward a small contraption, miniaturized to be the size of a briefcase, with a shellac cylinder mounted on it. Setsuna might recognize it as the phonograph Uta's been working on in the last weeks.

Goldenblade is completely lost as Uta talks about Alvs and hints and things. But she looks over as Uta mentions her phonograph. She'd helped a bit with that, and wonders, "Did you find any old records?" She's more Tommy Dorsey than Tommy Tutone, or whoever it is her grandkids listen to. She couldn't even keep track of her kids' crazy music.

Kauchemar tilts her head to one side. "Oh, someone has started experimenting with phonetic music devices, how quaint."

    Setsuna nods his head slowly, as he looks at the finished work of the phonograph and inspects it closer, " It looks rather good. Nice choice, for the cylinder." Looking over he says the word that was shared, " Enne... I think he mentioned it was guessed to mean prayer or wish. An interesting word to discover. " Looking at the device he brings up a second thing, " Can this thing activate the same symbol or is the gate smart enough to read an Imanity presence."

"...we haven't tried that yet," Uta replies to Setsuna, a little embarrassed. "But I should do that. I still need to test the viability of this device on the field. Mainly for song transcript- Oh, hey, Kauch? I have experimented with transcribing Lander songs the old fashioned way. That's what made it painfully obvious that I would need multiple listens to transcribe the full score of the song, harmony and all. Without even considering the language. So I have experimented with all the two songs I know the Landers sing -- the song known by Adventurers as the first song, the one known as the fifth song, the one you hear around Zumfit. Merek gave me the transcribed score for the sixth song, the one which contains the word 'enne.'"

"I'd like to experiment how viable this machine is for transcribing songs found in the wild, but I have already transcribed the two I am aware of. I fear I would be influenced and biased by previous knowledge." She turns to Kauchemar. "You're a bard too. Would you like to help me? Either by telling me where to find a song that isn't one of these three, or by trying to transcribe one of these yourself, under the assumption you haven't already done so before. To test if the quality is good enough."

Uta replies to Setsuna, "No records are around. That's exactly the point -- this is a first for Yamato. " With her gaze once again lost through the ceiling, she trails off, "...the Landers are worryingly interested in this thing... I hope it won't disrupt their culture too much."

    Setsuna tilts his head for a moment and speaks his thought aloud, " You should build another for the chims. Give them a few of the cyllinders once you have a couple." It was just a thought but those things did appear to love music. He tilts his head for a moment before he notices it is time for the daily slime nature walk. This consisted of Setsuna taking a group of the best behaved slimes out for a walk around the Peko area without Rylen knowing and then bringing them back, hopefully all of them this time. Stepping away from the conversation the Monster handler begins to prepare.

Goldenblade tries to follow what Uta is saying, but she hasn't got enough background to try to understand the situation, so she watches with a blank expression. The bit about records is easier to understand, and she says, "Well, we've got musicians, they can record the songs they know, right? And it's no wonder the Landers are interested, they've got what, 42 songs? We've got millions...."

Kauchemar nods a bit. "I know those two as well... And exactly what you're talking about. Those songs turn out to be a lot more complex and deep than they seem when you listen to or sing them enough times. Especially when we've got a limited selection of instruments to expand the auditorial experience with."

"I've tried communicating with the Chims," Uta grumbles. "Singing to them. They won't follow. The just sing their own songs and that's it. And, of course, they cannot sing lyrics. Another issue is that I've already heard those songs, so they are not a good candidate for transcription experiments. I might be influenced by previous exposure to the real thing."

To Kauchemar, "...indeed, trying to transcribe a full score has been a rather enlightening experience. Pretty much, now, we need to find a new Lander song for experimental purposes. Something common and easily found, before we can be confident that we can take this machine hunting for rare songs..."

"That what I fear," Uta sighs at Goldenblade. "The Landers' songs contain the Alv language. They must be ancient, and hold priceless treasures within them. If they were to be wiped by a flood of bubblegum pop..." She winces.

Goldenblade shrugs to Uta, suggests, "Then is your goal to use your phonograph to record the Landers' songs? That seems interesting. And I'm sure someone among our musicians can transcribe music that they hear? My mother could, she taught music. I've got a tin ear, myself, but I know it can be done."

Kauchemar cusps a hand to her chin thoughtfully. "So you need something that you're not familiar with to take it from a fresh start, then."

"It's a game skill," Uta explains to Goldenblade. "We Bards have the Song skill, which makes us particularly proficient at anything musical."

Uta nods at Kauchemar. "Precisely. Either that, or something /you/ are not familiar with, and then you'd do the transcription. Or... any third Bard. Something someone with the Song skill is not familiar with. Preferably something with the depth and complexity of a Lander song." She picks up her phonographs and takes it at eye level, to scrutinize it. "...I will, of course, still record the songs I already know. To preserve them, and to help with decyphering the language. I was thinking of inviting June to the lab to pore over the cylinders- Oh, how forgetful of me. Here, let me demonstrate!"

Uta sets down the phonograph, and sets it in motion. What comes out is a clearly recognizable recording of Uta singing the sixth song, the one Merek transcribed for experimenting with the chaos gates. She accompanies herself with a lyre.

With a frown, Uta remarks, "...I'm still not sure this machine works properly. That's not what I sound like!"

Goldenblade nods to Uta. "Sounds like you've got a plan, then? Do bards just play music, or read and write it also?" she asks. She listens to the phonograph, looks back to Uta. "It /does/ sound like you, actually. Remember that what we hear is not the same thing that you hear when you're singing, because you're hearing yourself through bone conduction, not through sound through the air. Unless you're listening to a recording." Because if nothing else, Goldenblade is chock full of strange trivia.

Kauchemar nods at that. "I do know what's called The Second Song as well as those two, but that brings us back to the 'complexity takes multiple tries and preconceived notions form'. You need something that's easier to work with to hone the skills of transcribing, so it can be done in less attempts. Anyone that knows music knows there is a phenomenon where you will hear something you expect to hear rather than what is really within the song or the lyrics, because the mind is wired to seek out familiarities first." The Nightmare pauses a moment. "I do not know this 'Sixth Song' however, so mayhaps we can trade projects to work on some time."

Uta grumbles at Goldenblade, "I don't know. I still suspect that the Girl from the Menu might be messing with my cylinders."
She blinks at Kauchemar. "What? No. I'm not trying to hone my transcription skills. I'm just trying to see if the recording quality of the phonograph is good enough to capture a song in such a way that someone who has never heard it before can transcribe it just as well as if they were hearing the real song." She points at the phonograph. "This. This is the sixth song." She squints at the device. ".../if/ this is the Girl from the Menu singing... dang, she's got a good voice."

Uta adds, "This Second Song sounds like a good candidate for experimenting, yes. We should set up a recording session. I can try and teach you how to use the device, and - oh, right. I will have to make a copy of the Sixth song's score for you..."

Goldenblade gives Uta a puzzled look, but nods. "It seems like nothing in this place is straightforward or 'as advertised'. She shrugs, but says, "Anyhow, I've got to go. Take care." And so saying, she will trundle herself out and back to her own camp.

Kauchemar rubs her hands together. "Sounds like we've got a mutual interest in this endevour now." Pauses a moment. Looks at the phonograph. "... I wonder if I could use that as a DJ turntable..."