Duty Session 370: The Deadly Caves Of Toxic Death!

They say that the perpetrator always returns on the scene of the crime.

If capturing a monster was a crime, then the saying would fit perfectly what Uta is doing right now.

The scene of the crime is atop a chasm with a rickety ladder that leads downards to a system of caves. "Ok, folks. Here we are. First of all, thanks for joining me, today. Time for us to go into these caves and-" She taps her chin. "...take out a Manticore, at least. That's the most dangerous monster," Uta explains. "The others... we might or might not be able to get rid of them. Some of them are too numerous or too fast."

Goldenblade has been here before, she thinks. She's not clear on a lot of things about the games these kids play, and it's crazy complicated. Does anyone do hopscotch anymore? Or tag? Those were games when she was young. None of this killing monsters business. But she's here to help, and she's not good at just sitting around, it's not anything she's used to or comfortable with - she's always busy. Lately, it's been training, but today's training involves helping her friend Uta hunt for ... "A manticore? Sounds interesting." What's a manticore? She guesses we'll soon find out.

    Fuka's been here before and didn't feel like taking on the caves of sour farts or whatever they're called. It's different now of course. She's prepared for the occasion, and Uta's a nurse with all the relevant herbs and stuff. Besides Uta asked if she'd like to help, and Fuka likes few things more than being asked to help by a friend. Of course she's up for the challenge today!

    She raises a hand in patient signal, and waits to be acknowledged. "When you say take out a Manticore, do you mean like on a date?" she asks. Uta *is* kind of weird about deadly monsters after all and while Fuka's fairly sure that's not what she means, she's not absolutely certain. "Or do you mean we make it sleep with the fishies? Wearing cement overshoes? You know... teach it a lesson it won't forget?" she adds, dropping into a voice that could charitably be called gangsta.

"No dates," Uta cuts off short. "Creatures with a monstrous humanoid face, the body of a lion, and a tail with a deadly venomous stinger are not my type. Plus, they're rumored to be able to swallow an adventurer whole in one gulp. Quite a sight to see, I'm sure, but I don't plan to /be/ the dinner and the movie."

As it is usual for her, Uta runs up to the rope ladder and-

Just jumps off the chasm.

She'll spread her wings with a fwhomp, and, arms spread and legs akimbo, feather fall towards the ground below, enjoying the feeling of almost-flying.

Once she touches ground, she starts looking around.

It is pretty obvious that there are two kinds of caves: greenish wisps of vapor waft out from some of them, and pool for a moment before a gust of hot desert wind dissipates the toxic fumes. "Those are the caves with the more dangerous creatures, the ones we should take out sooner to ensure the safety of the Landers. That's the ones we're aiming for," Uta explains. "The one without poisonous air are easier. Those we could theoretically do later, but if it turns out that we can't protect ourselves against the fumes, we'll have no choice but to go into one of these."

She claps her hands together. "Alright team! Time to prepare special potions, antidotes, or plain old holding one's breath for a long time!"

Goldenblade nods about no dates with manticores, though now that she thinks about it, "If they've got a humanoid face, they're unlikely to swallow an adventurer whole. You'd have to be pretty huge to swallow someone that's not struggling, and if they're fighting, it'd be super hard.

When Uta jumps, Goldenblade looks for a safer way down, and will climb down using the ropes provided.

She looks on as the party makes its choice, and will just hold her breath. There's no way this can go wrong. Thirty seconds later... WHEEZE.

    "That would be a spectacular movie." Fuka notes. "Two thumbs up! Action action action! You'll pay for your whole seat but only need THE EDGE!" she claims in her best cheesy announcer voice. Of course she wouldn't just sit there if a friend were being eaten but it's still hilarious to consider. "Also, I think manticores have like, a snake tail. So they can open jaws reeeeeally wide." - No Fuka, that's a chimera. Manticores have stingers for tails. The man-eaters are just huge.

    Done with play (for now), Fuka follows Uta over the edge, using her wings to glide safely down. "One day, Uta. One day." she promises. This time, the promise is of true flight... something she knows they share an interest in. Unlike ice cream however, she has no idea how to proceed on this one and figures it's not something she can consider for the immediate future.

    So, to the current situation! "I prepared potions!" Fuka claims cheerfully, willing to offer them around. Well okay she didn't prepare them herself. She just had some idea from previous experience what to look for, and had enough insight to acquire the right potions for a reasonable price. They should make it easier to get enough clean air to breathe. Discount water-breathing and antitoxin, in fact.

"If you don't take care of the Manticore before it takes care of you, you won't be needing the edge either," Uta quips back with a chuckle. "Don't underestimate a Manticore, Paula. Also, I used to wait tables before the Apocalypse. I thought I'd cease to be amazed at the ability of plain /humans/ at scarfing down items they should not phyisically be able to, and /yet/..."

Uta reaches for Fuka's potion. "Hmmm. Yes, yes, a good start, but considering what we're up against..."

The Nurse flicks her inventory open, and materializes a small leather-bound, wooden case, which she places on a nearby flat rock. She turns the lid up, revealing a small set of neatly arranged bottles, metal tools, and jars, containing liquids, powder, and herbs. "Portable pharmaceutical lab. That potion is a good start, but it might need a little boosting." Uta mumbles. There's mixing, shaking, juggling of the jars, and soon after, the potion is ready. "Here, everyone have a sip."

The Adventurers venture into one of the more challenging caves. The the air swirls around in a vague greenish hue, its flavor carries hints of wasabi with an aftertaste of bitter almonds. The first thing that faces the adventurers is far too steep an upwards incline. The wall is crawling with critters: scorpions scuttle up and down, snakes slither in and out of cracks in the rock, and spiders the size of rats compete to destroy each other's webs when one of them builds too close to the other. No big deal for the creatures, but the party will need to build some reasonably sturdy structure to climb forward: attempts at using simple grappling hooks or basic rope structures will result in the spiders mistaking the rope for a rival's web, and swiftly melting it with acid. Luckily, it seems that there is some sort of previous structure in place, which indicates that someone has been using these caves in the past. Perhaps the Gnomes?

Goldenblade nods to Uta about not underestimating the manticore, sighs at the Paula thing. That's a RP element, that is, which is way too advanced for GB to figure out or deal with. She didn't actually intend to be female here, so it's been a complicated year and change, and no mistake, and the ability to use the women's baths, which most guys would be all for, is not so much compensation. On the other hand, it's a game, her stats are not different, which confuses her a bit. How can a 5'2" (157cm) woman be as strong as a 6'5" (195cm) guy?

But here, she's faced with ... not even constructing a way up, but just carrying on with something someone's already started. But .... they started it so poorly, so GB will knock it all down and start again from scratch. "That wouldn't have lasted a week," she complains as she gets the squarish rocks together and begins sorting them ...

    Feeling good about all this, Fuka takes whatever drugs Uta decides are appropriate. Between that and her potions, they're well protected from the air that smells either nasty or kind of good depending on your hunger levels and tastes.

    Faced with ascending a near-vertical wall, one covered with nasty stinging and crawling critters, Fuka frowns. "Well, this *would* be kind of easy if we just had a clear path, right?" she says. Building a way up, or somehow landing a rope throw of some kind and then keeping it clear, well, those would be tricky. But that structure has options, and so she has another plan in mind.

    Lifting her axe, Fuka begins a brief chat to summon winds to the head of the weapon and then begins to whirl. "Cover your heads!" she cries out, spinning up a small tornado which she unleashes at the wall. And the wall gets scoured clean of tiny stinging bugs... which end up flying all over the room. Ending up basically anywhere really. On the ground, on a wall somewhere, in hair, etc... just not where the mini-tornado was fired. Conveniently opening up a path for three strong and agile women to climb rapidly, which was of course the plan all along!

"Paula, we don't need it to last a week!", Uta groans in mild exasperation, in the middle of karate chopping and flying-kicking bugs all over, which also involves rotational limb movements which generate vorexes and impacts that not only squish, but also zap the critters. "We just need it to last for the mission!"

It might take Goldenblade longer than expected, but eventually a structure is up, and our heroes can proceed.

As the party ventures inwards, the gas gets thicker, and the air takes on a yellowish tint and the aroma of rotten lemon. The whole cave consists of smooth, black rock organized in opaque cubes of crystal. It's like a warehouse stacked with obsidian crates. A relatively uncommon monster is leaping about, one which experienced players of Elder Tale Online will recognize: dark purple, spherical body, about the size of a small Adventurer; short legs with long feet, huge, malevolent eyes that take up most of its face, and instead of a nose, a long tube which keeps pumping out yellowish gas at every leap. Its name upon inspection is << Toxic Jumper >>', but the playerbase has always jokingly referred to it as 'Dire Q*Bert', especially given how it moves by hopping about, and covers the patches of rock where it lands in colorful poison.

Uta points at the Toxic Jumper. "I've done my research. These monsters have some sort of artistic instinct. Time to whip out pen and paper and try and figure out this particular one's stylistic choices!"

She flicks her menu open, and a fountain pen shimmers into existence in her hand. She runs her finger through the rest of her menu, and frowns. "Uh... hm. Seems like I forgot the writing paper at home." A swipe of her hand dismisses her menu. "Nevermind, folks, just pen it is!"

Goldenblade gives up on her construction project when Uta and Fukaziroh clear the path more efficiently. "Well, it would have been set up for the next party," she points out. Then, moving on, she winces at the reek of lemon, and acks as she spots the Toxic Jumper. "Ugh."

So, Goldenblade is here to train her skills at avoiding attacks, so she will leap in and ... avoid the attacks she will undoubtedly pick up. Her stealth paints, alas, all set for rocky gorges, do not so much conceal her in this area as make her stand out, and she's a bit slow on the evasive moves after getting slammed a couple times. "Is this what you were planning?" she croaks to Uta.

    Oh look, a Dire Q*bert! Fuka's definitely heard of them, though this is her first experience with one. They seem too poisonous to actually fight, given how much they poison the crystals just by bouncing off them. So their choices are to either rely on toxicology, agility to get past while under pursuit... or something more entertaining.

    Fuka goes up to Uta. "You just tell me when you know for sure in advance exactly where and when that little bugger's going to be on a particular crystal." she says, beginning a slow runic chant of Earth wave artes, maintaining her concentration and holding the spell back for the right moment. When the moment comes and Uta tells her where and when, Fukaziroh unleashes an abrupt Earth pillar. The pillar launches up out of the designated crystal, sending the Toxic Jumper flying out of the way, leaving a clear path onwards. "To infinity and beyond!" she calls out, charging on.

"Uhm, I... kinda?", Uta replies to Goldenblade. The Spriggan concentrates for a moment, then her eyes pop open in utter surprise. "Uh... there. And there. And there."

Using her pen as a pointer, Uta traces the expected path of the monster with uncanny precision: all of her predictions turn out to be true, and as Fuka launches it in the air, there is a cheer from Uta, especially when the dire Q*Bert shatters in a gajillion polygons upon hitting the ground. "You did it! You got the Dire Q*Bert! It's the first time I see this happen! I think. Unless it happened already and I forgot."

The party pushes on. The air turns an intense orange, with a piercing reek of sulphur. The malodorous vapors thicken faster than expected.

"Based on our last expedition, I /was/ expecting the vapors to thicken faster than expected," Uta barely manages to say through watering eyes, "but I wasn't expecting them to thicken faster than expected /this fast/. They're thickening faster than expected faster than expected..."

Uta at this point collapses to her knees, as a feeling of nausea begins to overcome all the Adventurers; the nature of the fumes this deep in the cave hadn't been anticipated at the beginning of the journey, so the the potions and antidotes prepared back then are of little help. "Quick, Fuka *cough cough*... do you have more of that base potion?", Uta asks, needing two or three attempts before she can properly summon her menu and navigate it properly to materialize her portable laboratory again.

Luckily, Uta and Fukaziroh seem to have this in hand, because Goldenblade seems very much off her game. So to speak. She looks back over her shoulder as her HPs fall, but luckily, she manages to persevere until the others handle this.

Low on HP, and now suffering from the bad air's status effect, which her oxygen bottle is not helping with, she will cough and wheeze like a 75 year old. It's times like this when she feels her age. Kids and their games. They should get off her lawn. If she had a lawn.

    "How can they thicken faster than expected if you expected them to thicken faster than expected?" Fuka complains, logic making her head hurt. Either that or it's the toxic fumes. "Yeah I have some more, but ... uh, it's supposed to last at least this long? So all we'd be doing is extending the duration. Uuuuugh... we're gonna have to just tough it out! I'm not retreating just because some monsters fart way too much! Let's find the monster that's farting and stick a cork up their butthole!" she insists.

"No! We won't! This is too dangerous, we /need/ antidotes!", Uta snaps. It's not often one sees her angry... or maybe she's just cranky? I mean, breathing poison in a system of caves filled with venomous monsters intent on killing you will do that to a Spriggan.

Uta materializes her portable pharmacy crate again, and kneels over to the ground to work on another potion.

Her hands shiver, her head swims and sways, her eyes glaze and drip among blinks, and it looks like her whole body takes all of her energy just to be kept from falling over. She has to stop and consider multiple times which bottle is the right one before pouring a liquid until into another one, until-

She collapses right onto her crate, toppling all of her glasses and jars, and spilling all the compounds and herbs contained therein.

After a few seconds of coughing, wheezing, and looking, sounding, and feeling miserable, she pushes herself to stand again with trembling arms and croaks, "...Very well, Fuka. Who brought the cork?"

The next section happens to be a maze of twisty little passages, all alike. When the Adventurers reach it, the source of the unusual gas becomes apparent: a bull-like creature with metal scales. A Gorgon, whose appearance is glitchy and unstable, keeps puffing out reddish-orange clouds of petrifying breath at every snort and grunt.

"Don't get hit by its breath!", Uta says with a raspy voice, barely able to see. "You'll end up with one or more limbs turned to stone! With a matching << Petrified >> status effect for the relevant body part and all!"

Every now and then, the monster glitches through walls, which adds an extra layer of difficulty to the escape.

After the party witnesses two or three of these unrealistic crossings of solid rock, Uta adds, "...oh, yeah, it can go through walls."

Goldenblade is barely hanging on as it is, coughing and -<Everything> from status effects, she will blindly follow Uta as she goes here she goes. Hopefully she leads us past this noxious gas and glitchy gorgon and all the bad. She'd like to breathe again, too, if that's possible.

    Seeing the gorgon makes everything suddenly make sense. Of course there are glitches. This place is harder than expected. Even harder than expected to be expected! Of course there's a glitch! "Where's Merek when you could actually USE him!" she growls, probably unfairly. He's never been un-useful after all. Just a little reckless, and there's nothing wrong with that!

    Fortunately, Fuka's been saving something in reserve. "I think... maybe..." she claims, more than a little dubious. Then she stops talking and starts a soft wordless song. Some might recognize it if they've seen Fuka fight a lot lately. A powerful spell of protection and healing, one that should partially help with the fumes. And, incidentally, one that gives a slight precognitive tap, at times like when the gorgon is about to glitch through a wall and attack. The warning might be JUST enough to help the group get through the gorgon's labyrinth, though surely not enough to actually allow them to murder the foul beast. No, not a fowl beast. That's a cockatrice.

    Fortunate, because Fuka forgot the cork. Avoiding the gorgon is probably the best they're going to get.

Uta swings her arm around, using her pen slike a radar antenna through the fumes.

Hey, if it worked for the dire Q*Bert, it might work for the Glitched Gorgon as well, right?

Despite looking like she's suffering a lot, with special occasional pangs (she even doubles over, or downright falls down a few times), with the help of Fuka she manages to lead the team out of the labyrinth.

The atmosphere, deep red by now, is so saturated with miasmic fumes Adventurers might be wondering if there is any air left in it. The nature of the poison changes again so, as expected, the previous potions and antidotes start to fail; supplies are running low, and there just is no time to prepare more. The Adventurers won't survive for long if they don't get out soon.

Uta somehow manages to lead the party, qeasy and exhausted, to finally stumble upon the final location, which bears the expected markings of a boss room. It's a tall, wide cave, where a most impressive monster lurks: body of a large lion, with clawed feet, face of a monstrous humanoid with sharp fangs, and the tail of a scorpion.

"That is what we came for," Uta wheezes, barely able to whisper. "It is rumored that it is such a powerful monster that it can swallow lower-tier Adventurers with one gulp. We need to-"

The monster seems to notice the Spriggan's wheezing: it hisses, truns its head, rears its tail, and launches towards the party. The fight will be tough and lopsided, and not in favor of the Adventurers.

    "We need to CHARGE!" Fuka insists. She's sore, sick and tired... but she's got more where that comes from! When neck deep in *ahem* trouble, make sure the fan is facing the other guy when you start the splatter maneuver!

    Suiting deeds to words, the mighty battle fairy launches herself at the boss, aiming to get in so close it can neither bite nor sting her. It's not a perfect attack by any means but she stands her ground, making herself a nuisance all out of proportion to actual size while trying to give others room to attack and dodge as needed.

    It's exhausting, messy work. She'll need considerable healing later besides, but then there's a nice perk having a kung fu nurse as a friend. Of course, a friend is someone who patches you up after you got in a massive messy battle... but a true friend is right there beside you saying 'that was fun!'

    Collecting her reward, panting and probably gagging on stench and trying not to vomit, Fuka nonetheless says what needs saying. "That was fun! Let's do it again some time soon!" Meanwhile hoping Uta says never again. Some other fun deadly messy place... please!

Goldenblade stumbles, led by Uta, to the final location, the boss room. "This is it, huh?" she checks, then nods, stands up pretty straight. She quaffs a HP potion she'd been hoarding for some time. It's kind of low level, so it doesn't boost her HP as much as she'd like. On the other hand, she's old school enough that when the going gets tough, the tough get going. None of this business about crying groups or holding hands or whatever California-based nonsense the hippies are peddling now.

Her usual attacks are on cooldown because of project work, but she's got a buff she doesn't use a lot that would work perfectly here. She leaps in to the attack, then, and lets Fuka catch it's attention for a critical moment, then she hauls off, taking an extra backswing, and absolutely SLAMS it, hitting for nearly her max damage. That takes a good chunk of its HP and makes it very unhappy. That's fine with Goldenblade, she'll haul off and plow it with blows from both swords, forcing it back with each impact. "Hah," she snarls, taking damage when it can manage an attack, though her blows keep it off-balance for the most part.

"You're right, Fuka!", Uta exclaims, hoarse. "We are in excruciating pain, but there is one thing we can do! Scream! Scream like there's no tomorrow, to both distract yourself from the pain, and hammer at your opponent's senses! To make it worse, scream slightly off-key! That's known to annoy Manticores, who are notoriously exacting in musical taste!"

Ok, perhaps she's starting to ramble a bit.

She slams her staff to the ground and announces, "FOR YAMATO! FOR SCIENCE! F-*cough* *wheeeze*"

"Oh for goodness's sake... I need a breath mint." She swipes her menu open, materializes a couple of small candies, and takes some time to suck on them with a grimace while Goldenblade and Fuka perform their perfectly timed maneuver.

Once she's done, she'll attempt a brief musical scale, which reveals her voice to be back to being crystalline, and her pitch flawless.

"Ok, here it comes!"

She begins her singing, and alternates between taking her turns at chopping and kicking at the Manticore when Fuka and Goldenblade's maneuvers leave her an opening, and healing the both of them when it is not her turn to attack.

When the battle fairy and Paula move in for the final blow, she, from a distance, launches into her song's finale, a high C so powerful it sends a sonic blast to ripple through the air and devastate the monster, which shatters into polygons and drops a large stinger, which ends up next to a different, pre-exiting one, possibly mottled or dropped by a different Manticore killed by the current one?

Oh, and as Uta announced, the high C was slightly off-key for that extra annoyance factor.

Uta falls to her knees.

Uta turns towards Fuka, slowly, and gives the Battle Fairy a tired look. "...Never again. Some other fun deadly messy place... please," is what Uta replies.

Hopefully Fuka got her wish?

Uta notices a small draft of fresh air. "Oh, good. Another secret passage. Excellent."

She staggers to her feet, and beckons. "Come on, you two...", she will say with a groan. "I think we have an intense healing session ahead of ourselves..."

Goldenblade will collect her reward, then follow Uta as she leads the way out. "Healing sounds good," she agrees.

    Fuka apparently gets exactly what she wants, given her grin at Uta's complaint. "Some other fun place, yes! One that's not so sucky. Sicky?" she shrugs, then struggles to go along with the others. Mutual support and assistance are likely the orders of the day until they can collapse somewhere with clean fresh air and recover from the ordeal. Until the NEXT ordeal!