It's A Dirty Job

It is a staple of seafaring stories: the inn down at the port.

You know the kind. Dimly lit, full of sailors telling stories in varying degrees of accuracy (be especially mindful of the sizes of the fish they caught, and even more so of those that got away), a motley crew of individuals who offer a wide choice of shadiness most befitting even the most exacting customer's need (and, one might notice, there's an above average number of Spriggans), tavern wenches swaying their way across tables, and a bard off in a corner plucking away at her instrument, entertaining a bunch of bulky sailors with exotic Sea Shanties.

For the record, said bard happens to be a certain Adventurer musical kung-fu nurse.

Mugs slam rhythmically on the table along with the song, something which probably is grog is chugged down copiously, and some sort of boisterous chaos that somehow manages not to get out of hand reigns over the whole place.

If we're honest, Jazz ... dislikes being around people much of the time. She's come to enjoy her time away from them, her long sojourns into the open wilderness that have yet to result in her death (miraculously, if we're honest given her character build) and so even the fact that she has to pass through this place ... aggrvates her. She has things to do. She doesn't want to behere. Honestly, it's getting harder and harder to tolerate beiong around people. Landers, Adventurers... anyone. The longer she's alone, the easier being alone is and the harder it is to break out of it... not that she wants to, sometimes. And when you want to be alone, people tend to ... let you.

Most people are not, of course, Uta, and so when she stops in front of the bar keep to pick up the satchel full of supplies that was promised her, the voice of a particular Kung Fu Nurse hits her ears.

"It... can't be," she says after a oment. How did she KNOW? HOW DOES SHE ALWYAS KNOW?!

Jazz sloooooowly turns. Slowly turns and faces Uta. Stares. Stares for a long moment. Her tentacles twitch. Once.

The song finishes with a roar of yelling and applause from the crowd, and Uta bows all the way. She grabs a nearby broom, as if it was a microphone stand, and speaks into it. "Thank you, thank you, you're a wonderful audience! Now your bard needs to take some time off. Remember to tip your waitstaff and to wait for the tip of your staff." She frowns and reconsiders what she's just said, shakes her head over the confused murmuring of the crowd, and reprises, "In any case, eat, drink, and be merry! See you later!"

There is some applause and chatter as Uta steps down from her position and navigates the tables. "...What was she doing with that broom, over there?", asks one Lander sailor to his neighbor. "I have no idea, must be an Adventurer thing."

"Jazz!", Uta beams. "Thank goodness you're here! There's a thing I wanted to tell you!" The Spriggan slowly, veeeeeeeery slowly bends over, her face inching closer and closer to Jazz's. "I knoooooow thiiiiiiiiiings," she draws out, barely containing her excitement.

There's some more staring at Uta as she approaches her.

"...yeah, an adventurer thing. That's it. Of course. It makes sense. You must have Jazz-dar or something."

Jazz snorts once and then skeptically narrows her eyes before relenting and then leaning back away from uta as sinches closer.

"Of course you do. You're very smart. Much smarter than me, actually! What have you learned this day, Uta?" She's accepting another cascade of Uta-ness.

It seems like that, somehow, Jazz broke the Uta.

She just stares into the void, her expression blank, for a few seconds.

Many seconds, actually.

Uta.exe has crashed, please stand by while rebooting.

"N-no, don't be silly, Jazz!", she mutters, all of a sudden avoiding eye contact as much as she can. "We all know you're the brains of our operation, here."

She shakes her head, and after some navigation of her menu, she causes a fountain pen to shimmer into existence in her hand. "No, I was talking about this."

"As for your other question, today I have learnt that I can get free lodging and a dinner for two by performing at this inn! Want me to treat you? They have a delicious seafood chowd-"

Uta pales, and glances at the Undine's tentacles. "I'm sorry, was that insensitive?!"

A fountain pen! Jazz looks at it with immediate envy. "You have a pen. An actual pem."

Her tentacles twitch even more. "I am stuck using charcoal. Quill. Ink,. Blotting. Endless blotting. Ink stained fingers. And you just FIND A PEN?"

Jazz's hand goes to her face and runs down the front, tentacles twitching even more. "..no, no. It's fine. It's all okay. Sure. Chowder. Fish eat fish all the time and it's noeven a guilty pleasure. And besides, I'm not a fish."

Uta hesitates, pen still held in her hand. In case Jazz decides to inspect it, it turns out it's called << Sarla's Pen >>.

"I didn't find it. I got it as payment for capturing a Manticore. It's a pretty unusual monster. It cost me an arm and a leg. Literally, they got turned into stone during the mission, and-" She taps her lips. "...well, okay, I've managed to cure them afterwards, but still."

Uta shakes her head. "Point is, ever since receiving this pen, I've started knowing things. Things I shouldn't be knowing. Like, I can focus on objects and learn their reputation. Landers too, even though I usually don't do it. Did it only once. To Queen Laira Lorelei of the Rosenheim kingdom. She came to visit Eas, and even if she didn't say, I'm ready to bet she used a similar power on us. So she was fair game."

After some shaking of her head, Uta resumes. "But I digress. The point is, I am not sure this pen would be any good for drawing maps. It will either write objective accounts of past events one focuses on, or give you sore vocal cords, headaches, sore fingers, and the like. Possibly both. Still trying to figure out when it does one and when it does the other..."

"...ah. That ... that 's interesting," says Jazz after a moment, staring at Uta with the look of one faintly bewildered by her Utaness. "Well, you ... that's going to be useful. What did it know about Queen Laira, actually?" She asks, curiously, leaning back away from uta al ittle further to regard her casually. ".. I still need a pen. Even if it's not that one. A real pen." She grumbles.

Uta rattles out, "Loira Lorelei, The beloved Queen of Rosenheim. This Undine, in possession of a Relic that lets her swim through the air as if it were water, is consi dered a wonderful and magnanimous leader. She's known to have an obsession over cute things, and is a bit of a 'Love Freak'. She's concerned with the protection of her people most of all."

Uta mumbles, "I still want that relic. Well, okay, technically I want to -fly-, but if I can't really fly, that's a good second choice."

Uta sighs. "I don't like what that delegation did, Jazz. I don't know if you've heard the story. They came, showed off their warships (even though properly decked for peacetime), and- well, I'm pretty sure they've collected a case file on all of us just by looking at us. Baroness Wake first. Considering how there's been a war between Landers and Adventuers in the Palace Lands- oh, did you know there's been a war between Landers and Adventurers in the Palace Lands? My research at the Dol Dona library had revealed how the local lore involved wars among the kingdoms, but I didn't know of a war between Landers and Adventurers."

Shiruba had been out helping investigate some of the possible routes farther inland for various expeditions, at least one of which is possibly slime related. But even the dedicated scout needed a chance to relax and more importantly eat before any actual big ventures are made. Though upon walking into the inn the same sharp eyes that serve her on the field almost immeadiately pick up on familiar faces. "Uta, Jazu, hello!" she cheerfully calls out and waves.

"...yeah, I heard about the flying thing. Kind of sad I missed it. I know a lot of people want to fly for obvious reasons. All I got was to breathe underwater."

Jazz scowls, briefly. She puts a hand to her hat and glances around, briefly. That the Queen is described as having an obsession over cute things made the color drain from her face.

".. right. Maybe I should be glad I missed it."

"Oh, no, I'm sure you two would have gotten along swimmingly, Jazz!", Uta pipes up. "In fact, I- Oh, hey, look, it's Shiruba! Hi, Shiruba!", Uta exclaims, waving her pen-holding hand towards the wolf Cait Sith. "Shiruba is one of the people helping me to find some Exploding Slimes. They live near volcanos, and since our option in Yamato was in Ezzo, well..." She scratches her head. "...the Palace Lands it has to be." There is a short pause. "There's a mountain with the right characteristics to the North of Rosenheim. We're on our way there. I think I'll stop to check out the local sewers on my way there, tho'. Maybe I'll find something interesting." She tilts her nose upwards and her eyes get lost in the distance again. "Or maybe I already have and I've forgotten? Hard to tell at times...", she trails off, while, hand cupped around her chin, she taps her lips.

Shiruba walks over and gives Uta a pat on the shoulder. "'Swimmingly'. Nice wordplay. And speaking of the mountain, we've got a few potential routes to take. But we'll see what's actually lurking in the wild and who we have with when the time comes for that to decide which path. The mountain itself will be a rough trek, so the less we have to exhert ourselves before then, the better. Better be sure to have the 'nurse' part of your kung-fu nurse ready, too." Then she turns one way to order a quick meal, then back to nod to Jazu. "Haven't seen much of you back in the old region Jaz. Exploring out here must keep you pretty busy."

"Exploding Sli--.."

Jazz's hand goes up to her face again. She looks at Shiruba, as if to say 'you're encouraging her?! For shame!'. Shriuba is greeted with a lifted hand, though. "If I could help, I would," she adds, "but I suspect it's not something I'd be suiited to go with you on, given that I already have someone waiting for me. And yep... yep. Very much. *So* much." She wrinkles her nose. It is cute. Dreadfully so.

Uta looks proud of herself as her pun is complimented.

"I've got more Pharmacy than you can shake a magical staff at! Kung-Fu Nurse Furore ready to kung-fu healthy monsters into dying and nurse dying Adventuers back to health!", Uta cheerfully replies to Shiruba, putting away her pen among the folds of her gi/uniform. "Light magic too. Mana pool maxed out. Can't let anything go wrong in a mission like this. We're facing the unknown, and I'm not even sure if we have a proper tank with us. I... keep losing track of who's got which build."

Uta goes d'aaaaaaaaaaw at Jazz's face, but doesn't otherwise comment further on the Undine's cuteness.

"Exploding Slimes, indeed. It may sound messy, but SCIENCE demands we locate them."

Yes, SCIENCE.

"It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it."

Well, okay, it's not strictly necessary. But it involves slimes, so there's no stopping Uta...

At the accusing look all Shiruba can do is shrug. It's exploring new and strange lands of the region, she can't really say no to that sort of thing and call herself a proper explorer. Besides, someone has to keep Uta from... well... being -too- Uta. "Well I'm no tank, but I'm ready if we have any animal issues to deal with along the way. The whole two creatures in one thing is still rather facinating."