Duty Session 377: A Clucking Disaster

The utter chaos of the farmland has even Shiruba starting for a few moments. Here are Clucks, there are Clucks, everywhere there's Cluck Clucks... Old Macdonald must be rolling over in his grave right now. "I wonder if this is related to the Bun-Buns also acting up the last few days."

Then a behaggered looking farmer staggers up, slumps against a fence, and gives a lowdown on the general situation. Though the farmhands don't seem to know exactly what's gotten int the Clucks either, or where they keep coming from.

"Sounds like this needs investigating!" Shiruba hops over the fence with her usual explorer's ethusiasm. "Come on, let's go see if we can get to the bottom of this."

Yeowang is a natural in the boardroom, very good in the ring, but the closest she's ever been to a farm is once she visited a tractor factory her grandfather owned. But she's following Shiruba and nods about getting to the bottom of things, though her getting to the bottom of things skills are likewise more closely aligned with accounting ledgers than cluck-cluck mysteries. But she's here to support the alliance, and she'd like to think of Shiruba as a friend, so she will follow along and see what may be done.

The duo of Miyako and Kotono are here!

And while Kotono doesn't know much about being on the farm and things like that, she's always willing to give it a try.

"Well, Miyako, looks like this is going to be an interesting one," Kotono says to her buddy as she arrives. "But life is more fun when you try new things."

"Always such unusual goings on this time of year." Tenko says, having responded to Siruba's call over the alliance channel. She was already in the area, so it was only right that she come help. She gives Shiruba a bow that is worthy of her station, "It has been far too long Shiruba. I trust you have been well?"

    It would seem that someone has let -something- loose in the henhouse. Whether it's a fox or not remains to be seen. She never had much to do with farming back in the outside world, but after more than a year in the new world... well.

    "New things are why I got into this," Miyako advises her friend. "On the other hand, I now know what we're having for dinner tonight."

Heetsuna had seen the request for help in the hunter's guild and had absolutely taken it to help the farmer, and not to improve his own standing nope. So as he shows up and sees everyone else as well he doesn't look a litle bothered in the fact that his attempt to bribe the girl at the hunter's guild for exclusitivity. Well eiher way he is here now as he shows up late and yet tries to walk in like he's the boss, "So Shiruba, wha do we got?" He also totaly read the details back at the hunter's guild

"All well and good, Tenko. But now it's time to make things a little better for other peo--" Shiruba is distracted by the boy running up and pointing out the bard. The farmer nods, and Shiruba crouches down closer to the boy's level. "Can you show us the way to the barn?" The Lander child rubs at his scratched face and nods. "Yes ma'am." He turns an leads the way, Shiruba huffing a little as she follows, and muttering something like "Calling me ma'am makes me feel old" under her breath.

The boy lifts the bar off the barn doors and gives them a nudge open. Shiruba sticks her head in. This is that moment where the whole group could do the 'leaning into a doorway to stare' gag if they really wanted. There's feathers EVERYWHERE. Shiruba plucks one stuck between two boards to examine. "Spread out and look for the bird brains."

Yeowang asides to Shiruba, "He's giving you respect. You're used to mostly respecting elders, but you're an adventurer, and that's also a position worthy of respect."

That said, she will follow into he barn, and hunt around for signs of the passage of clucks. Tracking each bit of scuffed earth, or displaced straw, or scratched wood to a hiding cluck. Soon enough, she's rounded up quite a few of them as she helps with this strage barnyard task. "This is not what I expected farmnig to be like," she admits.

Look for the bird brains...

Kotono resists making a joke and gets to searching. She's hoping that she can turn up something useful.

Unfortunately, it's not meant to be.

All she turns up are a few old feathers and little else. She sighs as she tries to look for tracks or something else that might be useful. Unfortunately, it's not meant to be. "I suppose there's no place on the farm for an acrobat."

    Setsuna follows behind to the henhouse as he listens in and realizes what is being asked. Taking a momen to stare at the kid for a moment before looking over at his fellow finders of clucks to give. " I though we were suppose to wait till they laid the eggs, and we hunted those?" Still he does appear to be looking for the cluck-cluckss, but seems to end up with no clucks to give.

Tenko is able to use her were fang form in order to sniff out the clucks. Despite the mask she wears, she is still a kitsune under there. And with that she's able to do her best to track down as many of them as she can. It's not often she gets to use her enhanced sesnses to actually sniff stuff out.

    "Well, maybe there are other things," Miyako assures Kotono. "Don't worry, I've got plenty of things for an acrobat back in Shibuya." She starts climbing up the ladder to the loft, smiling.

    The young Spriggan is nearly to the top, her head just reaching above the loft floor, when a cluck pops into her view! She has to stop, one hand slowly reaching up to grab at the bird...

    And then the bird's claw rests on the top rung of the ladder. "Hey," Miyoko says. "Don't - "

    Uncaring, the bird gives a hard shove, and the ladder starts to topple back....

    ...

    ... teeter... totter.....

    And down she comes, landing on the floor with a hard thump, sending small clouds of feathers and bits of hay flying into the air.

The Clucks are playing the most annoying version of Hide and Seek ever, but Shiruba has the keen hunter's instinct... and more importantly, a secret weapon. She holds up the feather she found between two fingers, and raises her other arm to point the device strapped around her wrist at it. A red light flickers from the Relic to scan the feather.

Then Shiruba holds her arm out towards the barn interior and the red glow sweeps across it. Followed by pinpoint lines like laser pointers to highlight the hiding places of many of the Clucks. But it's a helpful indicator for those having difficulty on their own. "Let's get these wayward egglayers back outside."

Once they do so, emerging with many Clucks in hand or being chased out, the Farm Boy points towards the pen. Shiruba nods. "You heard the lad, get these birds back in their roost."

Having corralled all the clucks, now they tell us to put them in the pen? Yeowang shrugs. "They could have done this more efficiently," she points out, but it's not too complicated a task to urge the clucks from here to there, even if 'there' is a large pen. A bit of feed tossed inside the pen will motivate many of them to move inside, and the ones that don't will get a brusque yoink as she grabs them up individually and pitches them inside far enough that we can get the gates closed before they can get back out.

    Grumbling, Miyako picks herself up from the barn floor and brushes herself off, stalking out behind the crowd of clucking birds. "Right, that does it!" she calls, clapping her hands loudly to get the attention of the birds. "All of you that don't want to be /dinner/ had better get themselves moving -thataway-," she says, pointing to the pen. There's a slightly visible halo about her head, one of the well-known signs of someone using projective mind magic of some sort. (In this case, judging by the barely-visible runes, a low-level Animal Empathy spell of some sort.)

    She stands there, one hand on hip, the other pointing, while she /glares/ at the birds. "Move," she insists. And it would seem that some of them, at least, seem to be taking her point....

So the idea is to get the clucks to go outside? Well they're scanning as beasts, so it should allow her to do this. Che pulls out her long, shiny scarf and wraps it around her shoulders, "Hearken to me, wayward clucks!" The shiny swarm should do it's job, creating hypnotic patterns that should drive any of the clucks that see it to follow her as she backs away outside.

The first thing Kotono does is help Miyako up after that tumble. "We're not exactly off on the right foot I admit, but we've got to keep going..." Or rather watch as Miyako picks herself up. There is a hint of annoyance in her voice.

When it comes to getting those Clucks back where they belong, Kotono shakes her head. "That's not going to cut it." She looks at the nearest one and crouches down a little, tilting her head with a slight smile.

"Now now," She coos gently. "Try moving back that way." She gestures towards where they belong.

    tSetsuna looks at the kid, then the clucks and then the kid, "It sure sounds like we are doing your chores for you. You realize the hunter's guild is not to get someone to do your chores for you right?" Then he looks back at the loose clucks and begins to try to help get them into the pen. Moments later there is a lot of shouting and cursing at the clucks, negotiations must have failed.

Shiruba shoves a few Clucks into the pen. Then turns to stoop down and pick up one of the loose boards.... and by the time she's turned back to use the board to cover one of the gaps several Clucks are already poking their heads out. "Get back in there!" she almost literally barks. Which just gets more Clucks worked up, and it becomes a twisted game of shoving the birds back inside, and trying to get the board in place before they can push out again. This goes on for much longer than is practical or effective, but she's at least trying. "For Goddesses' sake! I'm starting to prefer the ravid Bun-Buns more..."

She also reachs over to lightly swat Setsuna on the back of the head. "Shush. This is clearly more than the standard farmhands can handle."

Fortunately they've got clucking good team support for this one, as several people manage to convince/threaten (the yin and yang of 'negotiation') most of the Clucks to go in and stay in. Then the Farm Boy returns, bearing a few new scratches and a means to calm the flock down. Which involves a dance that only a child could perform with such lack of self-aware awkwardness.

And Shiruba joins in without questioning it. She's seen stranger things done for rituals, what harm is a little song and dance number?

    Setsuna nods his head slowly as he watches the kid dance, and watches Shiruba try to imitate itt and sighs, " Shiruba you are an only child with no kids aren't you." Any one who did not fit that pattern would know the steps to the dance and sighs, as he begins to go through the steps for the dance. "Thank goddess there are no cameras. Probably the blind one, she wouldn't need it. "

    "Music, hmm?" Miyako chuckles softly. "C'mon, Ko-chan, it's dance time." She settles onto a stump near the pen and produces her guitar. She plays a happy, sweet little tune, singing along.

    "The sun comes over the top of the hill / Shines on the fields I've yet to till / My bones are weary, but I know I will / And not just because you ask it"

    A short instrumental later, she continues.

    "Rake and hoe hung on twenty-penny nails / Milk lies sweet in a hundred pails / Hay piled up in a hundred pails / And apples in the basket."

    (https://youtu.be/rXRKQvTQGog)

Kotono doesn't know how to sing very well, but she can dance quite well.

The acrobat goes into an improvised dance to the music, keeping tempo as best as she can. She even adds in a few somersaults to the mix as well. Because why not?

A dance? It's not her usual thing, but Tenko often practices kata, and it is really no different than a dance. You just have to do a different style of move.

Tenko's moves as as smooth as silk, as if she'd done this a million times before, even though it may well be her first time doing it. Either way the ritual should impress. Or at least be adequate enough to let them pass.

Yeowang listens as it's explained that the clucks need to be calmed with a little song and dance number. Her expression is somewhat incredulous, but she shrugs and will get with the program. The steps require not so much dexterity as doing the right move at the right time, and as an exercise in formulaic response, she manages to get the step-by-step right. Or at least close enough that the clucks seem to be affected. How much is the silly dance and how much is just rhythmic motion is hard to say, but the group doing the cluck-cluck dance seems to be having the desired effect.

Well it may look awkward and dorky, but the combination of dance ritual with Miyako's musical accompanyment seems to do the trick in getting the Clucks to calm back down. But it seems like the matter isn't done just yet.

Shiruba nods as she turns to follow the other farmhands to see what needs to be done. "We can't leave without helping put a few things back in order. Not getting crops planted now will be a disaster in food supplies later in the year." Though she's not sure just how much she herself can do, she's at least willing to try.

Yeowang looks up as we're asked to help out with other tasks around the farm, and she nods hesitantly. Hesitantly because she hasn't really got any skills that might be even close to relevant. Not unless the farmer needs someone to balance his books or analyze his financial returns. Fence repair, alas, is not something she can help with, and though she tries, she causes more fences to need repair than that she gets fixed. This is not her best moment.

    Setsuna looks at the fence that has been asked to be repaired and grins as he gets an idea. With a little dark magic and a sacrifical cluck, two skeletons appear who run off to go forth and repair the fences for the little kid. They would make it happen even if it cos them their life. "Seriously kid, these better not be your chores."

Tenko's ability to farm is not the best. In fact it seems to not exist at all. She tries helping as best she can by carving lines in the first with her katanas, but being honest she probably just makes the whole thing worse and ends up getting in the way more than helping.

Trying to help out with woodworking? Kotono can try, but it seems her knives are not made for cutting wood. She tries to assemble the wood together, but it's no use unfortunately... "I need more training..."

    Miyako has watched people do metalworking, smithing, and such before. It can't be -that- hard, can it?

    It is.

    "Crap," she mutters, dropping the broken pieces of the item she was trying to repair. "I could use some pointers here...."

Shiruba tries, as out of her field of skills as she is. Seems like most of this group is better at being Adventurers than working a farm, but the little bit helps some as it allows the farmhands to focus on the more difficult repair tasks.

Thankfully for the party there's an interruption to their potential embarassment, as the huge Dire Cluck lands atop the barn and releases a crowing caw like a rooster from hell. Which gets the Clucks in the pen all riled up again. Shiruba's ears just lay back a bit. "A giant cock. Well that explains a few things," she murmurs. Too bad Dire Beasts are actually Monsters, so she can't do much with her animal skills. So it's time to fall back on the other things Adventurers are really good at.

"Drive it away from the farm! It's cock-a-doodle-doing is what keeps aggitating them!" Shiruba for her part runs back to the pen, and starts throwing up one of her elemental wind barriers around it... as much to keep the Clucks in the pen as it is to repel the air bursts the mutherclucker is stirring up.

Yeowang will scale the barn from the inside, climbing up the beams and then slipping up through a skylight to make the roof. There, she will face off with the dire cluck, concentrating mainly on not getting pecked as she slowly DPSes it down. Seems her big attacks are all on cooldown, it's just basic punches and kicks, and bobbing and weaving to avoid counterattacks as the party takes it down.

    Frustrated, Miyako glares up at the Dire Cluck. "Alright, you! I. Have. Had. Enough!" She punctuates each word by stomping towards it, her fingers scribing runes on either side of her as she walks. Dual-casting???

    Whatever it is she's casting, it lashes out at the immense bird in a stream of black lightning. "WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER!" she seems to have named the improvised spell.

Kotono tries to draw her blades and go at the giant chicken with her weapons in hand...

Only to barely graze the enemy and wind up landing on the ground with a scowl on her face. "Kuso!" She exclaims in frustration, using Japanese to swear in hopes of avoiding offending those around her.

    Setsuna looks at the giant dire cluck, and then looks at Shiruba, " You took the words out of my mouth." With his eyes glowing with magic he slashes out as if clawing at the air sending waves of darkness to cut into the giant cluck. " I call the dark meat." Setsuna says as he unleashes more and more waves of darkness to rip apart the chicken wanna be.

The Dire Cluck is big and fearsome... but against the combination of defense and offense just isn't all that difficult for experienced Adventurers to deal with, and eventually poofs into a cloud of pixels and drops of meat that are enough to make even Shiruba's eyes wide at the sight. "That makes it all worth it!" The wolfgirl bounds over to grab one of the larger chunks, as one would expect of someone who loves food as much as she does.

Of course, once the fighting is over... the Clucks manage to squirm out of their pen thanks to some planks being knocked loose in the ruckus. But this time, with the giant monster gone, the farmers can handle it themselves, right? .. They probably don't have a choice. The Adventures are kind of done with this fustercluck.